Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] Speaker A: Welcome to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. I'm your host, Deb Maisner. I'm a registered nurse, health coach, and alcohol free badass. I have found that there's more than one way to address drinking. If you've ever asked yourself if drinking is taking more than it's giving, or if you've found that you're drinking more than usual, you may have reached your own alcohol tipping point. The alcohol tipping point is a podcast for you to find tips, tools, and thoughts to change your drinking. Whether whether you're ready to quit forever or a week, this is the place for you. You are not stuck, and you can change.
[00:00:38] Speaker B: Let's get started on the show today is Ruby Williams. Ruby is a certified alcohol freedom coach and owner of Freedom Renegade Coaching. She helps women after weight loss surgery or those struggling with disordered eating and drinking to break free from alcohol addiction. Living in northern California wine country, she drank daily to cope with a stressful corporate job in the alcohol industry and the challenges of single motherhood. After weight loss surgery, Ruby found that her food addiction had transferred to alcohol use disorder. Now five years alcohol free, she combines personal experience, self compassion, and evidence based strategies to empower others. As co host of the Feel lit Alcohol Free podcast and co author of Overcoming mediocrity Epic Women, she is dedicated to helping women achieve lasting freedom from alcohol. Welcome. Welcome to the show, Ruby.
[00:01:47] Speaker C: Thank you. It's so great to be here. I'm thrilled to just have this conversation with you and get to know you better. It's so exciting. Yeah. To be here.
[00:01:56] Speaker B: Same. I'm looking forward to knowing more about you and your story. Where are we finding you now? Because you've been in California.
[00:02:05] Speaker C: Yeah, I live in Sonoma county. Wine country. Yeah. I was born and raised here. This is my home, my home turf, and my stepdad was a winemaker. So wine and wine industry and wine country, this has, like, been a big part of my life.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: Yeah. And you said you and you had a corporate job in the wine industry, too. What were you doing in that?
[00:02:29] Speaker C: Well, I was working in the wine industry for about 20 years, so I held a lot of different hats, from finance to compliance to sales and marketing. I was the web store. We called it web store, online store, you know, manager for like, eight years. A lot of different hats. So definitely in the sales and marketing side, too. So it's very interesting to be a part of that world I worked for. You might have heard of, like, Corbel champagne mum, Napa champagne, Kenwood Vineyards. Those are some of the wineries but the big corporation, I mean, that's, like, one of the largest corporations for the alcohol industry is called Pineau Ricardo. So they had, like, 30,000 employees. It's a really large corporation. Yeah. Oh, wow.
[00:03:23] Speaker B: Yeah. So you grew up in it, you were steeped in it, you worked in it, and you developed a drinking problem. And yours is. I find your story really interesting, and I can relate a lot to it because my food and drinking struggles really overlapped. I didn't have weight loss surgery, and I do know I've done a podcast in the past, and I was telling you about it with one of our registered dietitians in the bariatric center at the hospital I work with, where he really talked about people who have had weight loss surgery and developing drinking problems and all of that. So I just would love to hear your story and wherever you want to start, like, your struggles with food and drinking, because I'm sure they're very interconnected.
[00:04:17] Speaker C: Yeah. And you. And we're not alone. It's. It's. I. It comes up with so many people where it could be that they started with food, and then they ended up with alcohol addiction, or some people have alcohol addiction, and then they. It transfers, like, sugar or. I mean, there's just so many overlaps, and.
Wow. So where do I start? Like. Like I was born. No, I'm joking. So. Well, I think it might be interesting to share a little bit about, like, what it's like to grow up in the wine industry and have a dad that's a winemaker, my stepdad, like, you know, picture being a little kid and, like, going to wineries and hearing that. It's like. It's like a living organism, and it's so wonderful and romantic, and it's, like the coolest thing, you know, to go into a winery and see the big tanks. And so from a young age, you know, it was very cool. Right. It was, like, the thing. And it was always on the dinner table. I would hear my parents say things like, I had a really stressful day. I just need a glass of wine. You know, that was, like, a very common occurrence, but, yeah. So just. So then when I. After college, you know, looking for a job, coming back to the wine industry, it was just like a no brainer, you know, I'll work in the wine industry. I remember not liking wine, though, at first. I wasn't like, you know how some people in high school or college, like, were drinking a lot? That wasn't really my. My thing, because I didn't like to be out of control. I didn't really like that very much. And I remember my very first job in the wine industry was at a tasting room when I was 21. And I remember tasting the wines and just kind of not really liking them that much. So I started with. Some people do that, like, start with the sweeter ones, like a covert demeanor or something. And then slowly. And I did that with coffee, too, by the way. I don't know. Like, I remember my coffee had to be have so much cream and sugar.
It just reminds me of that. Yeah. So, yeah, so when I got divorced, I lived out of state with my, my husband, and then we got divorced, and I moved back home, and I was a single mom. When my son was one, we got separated.
So I found a job at Corbell in 2000. Yeah. So that was a long time ago. And it's. It's interesting because alcohol, I was definitely on the, I call, we call it now a spectrum. Right before, it used to be you're either a normal drinker or alcoholic.
That was like, it was all or nothing, but now it's definitely a spectrum. And I, like, I feel so much kinder. And there's. It's such a.
It's such a different way to look at it now.
It's taking time. This, you know, alcohol free movement and, like, the awareness and using different terms, like alcohol use disorder or alcohol misuse, rather, or substance use disorder, rather than just alcoholic, because alcoholic is. It's labeling the person, you know, like, you are at fault. And I also have a problem with, you know, on every bottle, like, alcohol, wine bottle or bottle of alcohol, it says, like, drink responsibly.
And, you know, I remember that working in the wine industry, you had to. It was, like, required. You had to put that on everything, because really, it's saying, hey, you know, the winery's not at fault if you drink too much. It's like, the winery's out of the picture. The alcohol's out of the picture. It's your fault if you drink too much. You know, it's you. But the nature of alcohol is that it's addictive.
And everybody, again, even if you're drinking, like I say this phrase, like, even if you're drinking just one glass a year, you're on the spectrum of, you could end up having alcohol use disorder. It's progressive. It.
The almost. It seems like most everyone, it's like this train, you know, moving faster and faster. You. For me, it was like, I could have one glass, and then I, you know, had two glasses. And then it felt like, you know, it just kept increasing.
And what it was like, I guess, is I would every, it became what I call Groundhog's day, where every day I would wake up and I couldn't believe, you know, I had drank again because I swore every morning I'm not going to drink again.
And then I would feel, you know, horrible, and I'd wake up and, like, vow, I'm not going to drink again.
And by lunchtime, at least in the wine industry, you could have tastings. If you're having lunch with clients, you're already drinking by lunchtime.
And then it just. One always led to two, led to three. It just, it went more and more and more. But I guess I want to segue into, like, my, my food part. So I would say, like, how I just described, I wasn't really drinking a lot, say, in high school, but I was food binging. I would numb my emotions. My parents had gone through a divorce. There was a lot going on, and I wouldn't have my emotions at an early age with food and binge eating.
And when I went through that divorce and then later at home, foreclosure, custody battle, corporate job, like, all of that, I gained 100 pounds in a pretty short, like, within a couple of years. And my whole life, it was like weight watchers or trying crazy diets. Like, uh, did you ever try the, it's like, maple syrup and lemonade.
Have you heard that?
[00:10:12] Speaker B: I had a name, didn't it?
[00:10:15] Speaker C: That one was horrible, because I ended up gaining a lot more weight after that. Like, it seems like every time I would diet, I would, then I would lose, get to my goal weight, go off the diet, and then, you know, gain the weight back plus more.
But my aunt had had bariatric surgery, and it wasn't really on my radar. But one day we went out to lunch, and she convinced me, like, oh, this is the solution, right? Because what it felt like in my brain, now that I've had alcohol use disorder, for me, it felt the same. It felt like an addiction. Like, my body and brain didn't know when I was full, so it always felt hungry. So I just have so much for compassion for people that are larger or have this. Like, it's like, you're. At least from my brain, I was never full. I was always hungry. Like, I would eat a ton of food and be, I'm hungry. Like, literally hunger would be there again. And it was. It was. I felt, like, going crazy. Like, I know I'm not hungry.
It was just this constant battle, you know, just like alcohol addiction. But it was the food. It was food. And I remember looking back at my journal and, I mean, the amount of food I was eating was crazy. It was like if it would pop in, like, I would have, you know, donuts and coffee, and then an hour later, potato salad, and then an hour later, you know, more like a whole sandwich, even before lunch. And then if I was watching tv or some say I was home and you see, like a commercial for a hamburger, I'd want. I'd want to go to a fast food restaurant. I'd go eat hamburgers, french fries. And then 2 hours later, it was like. I was just constant. It was really hard. So my aunt had the same sort of thing, she said, and so I had the surgery. And what's interesting is that you have all kinds of a therapy session, doctor's appointments, and they do talk to you about alcohol, and they talk to you about.
I lied.
I just lied. I've always lied to doctors about my alcohol. You know, if there was like, I'm at a doctor's appointment and there was a. Because I was always way overd and I didn't want to admit that, because, again, alcoholic, that term, I didn't want to be an alcoholic.
And so I would just. I would look at the. I remember. I can remember one specific doctor's appointment where there was a. There was a poster and it said, you know, women should have. I think it was one. One glass a day, like seven drinks a week. I don't know. I'm making this up, but I can't remember the exact. And for men, I think it was double. It was like 14. And I remember looking and going, gosh, I'm probably having 14 a day, you know, or something. But I just said, oh, yeah, I just looked at the, you know, the poster, am I having seven a week? Yeah, that's me. So I wasn't even honest with myself. I think it might have been a little bit of a denial, too, you know, but in these, in these appointments before surgery, they actually said, you can. So there were two different surgeries that were options for me. One is called the gastric sleeve, and one is the Roux en y, which is a bypass. And I made the decision to have a gastric sleeve. So a gastric sleeve is where they cut your stomach and it becomes a long, narrow stomach, rather. So it's still a stomach there. A bypass where they actually bypass your whole stomach. And what. What they told me was, you can still drink alcohol on the sleeve, and you cannot drink any alcohol with the Roux en y bypass. So I said, okay, I'm having the sleeve. Because I work in the wine industry. I need to be able to drink wine. This is what I need to. Right. So. So I had this sleeve, and I lost all the weight pretty quickly. Uh, I lost about 120 pounds within that year. And it. It's really quick, because think about it, you can only eat maybe a quarter cup of food. You know, at first, your stomach does stretch a little bit, but you can drink, you know, water.
Not a lot, but you could, say, sip water all day long, right? You can have liquids. It doesn't feel that full, uncomfortable feeling with liquids as much so you can have alcohol. And what I realized is I didn't work on my mindset.
My mind still wanted to numb, and emotions and my mindset hadn't changed at all.
And once I discovered that alcohol even felt different in my body, I'll try to describe it. Like before the surgery.
Yes, I felt a buzz or whatever that buzz feeling was. But after surgery, because there's, first of all, there's different stomach enzymes in your stomach that aren't even there. It goes right into your bloodstream. It literally felt like a huge burst went right into my bloodstream instantly. It was very, like, within the 1 minute or something, you would feel it. The problem is it would go away so fast, and you could drink pretty quickly. So you would what? Maybe it would take an hour to drink a glass of wine. Let's say you would drink a glass of wine so quickly within, you know, 20 minutes or 15 minutes, I don't know, very quickly. So then you would want that second glass because your buzz went away.
My alcohol use increased so rapidly after weight loss surgery for so many reasons. It's physical, mental, and physiology, how your physiology is. So the statistics are, if you look it up online, it's like one in five people after weight loss surgery have alcohol use disorder. But I actually think it's much higher than that. When I look at some of my friends, I'm in my bariatric group, I think it's higher. I think it's half or even more. It might even be like 75%. It's a very high number, I think. And it makes sense when you think about the mindset as well as your body and then the size of your stomach and that you can drink liquids, so you are not alone. If this is you and I just have so much. It's like a double whammy, right? We had food addiction.
And then we have this alcohol addiction, and it's like, what? You know? Ugh.
So. And they're both feel shameful, but about two years or three years, about two and a half years after I had surgery, my aunt died.
And I'm at her funeral, the aunt who had surgery, and I'm sitting next to my brother, and I said, nobody's saying how she died.
You know, it's been very kind of. It was vague.
And my brother said, she's an alcoholic.
And I said, I had no idea. And, like, in that moment, like, I dropped into a big, dark hole, and I went, oh, my gosh. Because I knew at that point, this was happening to me.
It was happening to me where I was up to at that point already only a year and a half or two years after my surgery, I was up to, like, two or three bottles of wine a night. And then it was switching to hard alcohol.
So I made a vow. Like, on that day, I'm stopping drinking. You know, I'm. I'm gonna be at my funeral, and they're gonna say, ruby's an alcoholic. And I was just like.
And I tried. I was, like, so certain this is it, right? This was the moment. And I got about ten days alcohol free. That was the first time I ever actually, really, really, truly tried.
And because I was out scared. But the very next time there was a tasting, I said, I have to drink for work. There's a wine tasting.
And I was back to the races, meaning I was back to just drinking every day. And from that day on, I always was worried and beating myself up and wanting to stop. Couldn't figure it out. It was just every day for probably seven years. Every day. And my. At that time, it just kept increasing. About once a year, I would make an effort of some sort of, like, I tried naltrexone. I tried aa. I tried. I did outpatient rehab.
I did Kaiser medical therapy. Different groups. And so when it finally, I, like, again, I tried and I tried. Nothing ever really worked on my own, but I actually ended up losing my job in the wine industry, not because of anything I did. Although, to be honest with you, my productivity probably wasn't that great, but they were letting people go that had been in the industry for 20 plus years.
You know, it's just what corporate corporations do sometimes. And anyway, I was. I was a. Anyway. But this was a huge opportunity, and it was so interesting. My cousin, who's my best friend, also works in the wine industry here in Sonoma county, and she said, I'm doing this program. It's Holly Whitaker's hip sobriety school. Let's do it together.
I had never heard of anything like this. I thought, if you're an alcoholic, you know, that was the term I used back then, that there was only a, or a rehab. I thought those were the only two things. And yeah, we did the hip sobriety school with Holly Whitaker. It was really great. And then we met. My cousin and I would meet every single week for coffee and we'd talk about this. And then I was introduced to Annie Grace's book, this naked mind. This was the biggest, you know, impact on me was Annie Grace's book. And just knowing that I'm nothing alone. I mean, the introduction to her book is so cool. It's, it's, she says it's 222 in the morning or 333 in the morning, something like that. And I'm laying there in bed awake, beating myself up and just, and I just went, oh my gosh, are the people doing this? Laying there in bed at three in the morning? I had no idea, you know, so, yeah, so I tried like a 30 day break. I tried it, you know, take a break. And I was only able to get about 14 days in a row or 17 days in a row, but I felt so much better. It was just like, this is what I want. This is, this is it. I'm going to do everything and everything that's possible to, to live an alcohol free life. I was just going to, and that's what I did. I did all those things. And, yeah, so it wasn't like a one decision and done. I spent about five months really struggling with having, you know, getting some traction, trying all these different things again, programs. And like I said, outpatient naltrexone. I had a medical detox. I tried all of these different things because my wine drinking had moved into hard alcohol.
And it not only wasn't after work, it was earlier and earlier and earlier in the day. If I didn't have to go to work, I could start my drinking like at ten in the morning.
You know, it was getting earlier and it was getting so scary. My body was shutting down. I knew I was honestly, I wouldn't have been alive very much longer if I was losing my eyesight. My brain wasn't functioning, everything hurt, heart, liver. I would be awake at night just so panicked that I wouldn't wake up. And it was very scary.
But what's amazing is I found sober friends and I have all these sober girlfriends. Women friends are so amazing. We, I love my life now. I just love it. And I've become an alcohol freedom coach. That's what I wanted to share with you. Like, just, I want to pay it forward, and I want to help those. So, I mean, everyone. But I especially want to help people that have had bariatric surgery just because of weight loss surgery, because I relate. I really just relate. And it feels like a double whammy, you know, we got it twice, twice as bad. Like, you know? Yeah. I feel like I haven't let you talk at all. So sorry.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: Oh, I'm just mesmerized by your story. I'm just finding it so interesting and helpful and inspiring and just.
Wow. So I'm curious. When you had. So you started out and it was food noise.
[00:23:35] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:23:36] Speaker B: And then you had your surgery, did the food noise go away? And then it was just replaced by drinking noise. Did the surgery take care of the food noise?
[00:23:48] Speaker C: It did, in. In a way, because you. It's like, you cannot. It's physically painful to eat any more than, say, a quarter cup. And then maybe it was like, a few months later, it might have been a half a cup of food at a time. You know, it's just, you cannot.
I did. I changed it around food in that I actually can appreciate one bite of something and know and I also can appreciate and know that on a quarter cup or a half a cup of food, I was fine, meaning I had energy. I could, you know, I was eating so much quantity.
I found it very interesting that a human body can survive on so much less. I mean, you. I was very, very cautious on how much protein. There's a whole protocol after weight loss surgery. You must agree to have vitamins and, you know, you're looking at your amount of protein and vegetables. You know, I. I became keto just because I. To me, this is my own personal preference, but I wanted to have high protein, high good fats, lots of more vegetables, and less of, like, breads that are just kind of empty calories, in my opinion. This is just my opinion, but. So, yeah, I think it did. I think it really helped. But when I introduced alcohol, guess what? I would eat more. My stomach started stretching. I gained. I forgot this part of my. I gained about 80 pounds back by drinking alcohol and then going back to eating horrible foods, you know, meaning, sorry, but the foods that are, like, crap foods, like, I call them franken foods, you know, packaged foods or fast foods or.
[00:25:36] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, thank you. Also, if I haven't said thank you, thank you for sharing your story. And you do see a lot of people regain the weight after weight loss surgery, too, right? So we have the high rate of, I've heard 30% of people developing alcohol use disorder. You, like, in your experience, are seeing higher numbers. And then what are the numbers for people gaining the weight back? Do you know?
[00:26:06] Speaker C: Oh, gosh, I think it's really similar.
I think it might even be higher, because what happens is your stomach stretches, so you can't eat, say, a large quantity ever again, probably in your life. But you could eat.
You could eat a cup of food, wait an hour, eat another cup of food, wait an hour, eat another cup of. Yeah, you could do that. Kind of. Yeah.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: And I just think it's so interesting now, too. You brought up naltrexone, which is the medicine to help reduce alcohol drinking cravings. And now we have ozempic, which I also hear they are looking into research to help reduce alcohol cravings, as well as for people to quiet their noise, their food noise, their noise. Chatter.
[00:26:52] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:26:54] Speaker B: But it just brings up, like, that bigger point, like, oh, really? Getting into the root cause of why you were drinking or eating in the first place.
[00:27:05] Speaker C: Exactly. And, yeah, I've heard about Ozempic and these, and I'm thinking, okay, so when you stop taking it, unless you, I guess, take it for the rest of your life, if you haven't changed your mindset, you will just gain the weight back, you know, like, it's same with after weight loss surgery. I mean, I'm thinking it's such a new drug. We have to find out. Yeah. Also, it's so new. What are the long term effects? Or what's. I worry about those kinds of things, too, but it's all about the mindset and, yeah, why are you drinking? Why do you want to. For me, it was numbing my emotions. So getting to the root cause of, you know, the self issues, you know, when I work with clients, it's around, what are your beliefs? We dig into the beliefs around alcohol, the beliefs around stories you're telling yourself, why do you want to numb? Maybe feeling the discomfort or learning how to not just have instant gratification and how do you really want to feel tomorrow, or how do you want to feel in the middle of the night? These kinds of questions.
[00:28:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
Helpful for you then, was finding Annie Grace reading her book, having that paradigm shift. That's what I call it where I.
[00:28:22] Speaker C: Call it that, too. Yeah.
[00:28:24] Speaker B: For so long, it's been, you're the problem, you're an alcoholic. And then she really shifted it to really examining alcohol and how it's been marketed and what does it really do? What are our beliefs around it? And then my additional step, I always say, is marrying those concepts like, yes, alcohol, shit for your health. You've been sold a pack of lies, all of that. And it's my responsibility. It's still my responsibility.
So what is your advice then, for someone who is struggling with food and drink? You know, or, I mean, it's so complicated, right? Because you may be dealing with someone who's post weight loss surgery, or maybe you're someone who has food noise or drinking noise. Like, how do you come about it? Like, what's your approach?
[00:29:18] Speaker C: I like to find out first what's what I would call, like, the big domino. And for me, it was alcohol.
I mean, before it was food, but really it was alcohol. Cause I knew that I couldn't lose the weight or figure out my food until I got that alcohol out of my system first. So how I work with people is I kind of say anything but alcohol in the beginning, aba, like, anything but alcohol. You know, go ahead and have that ice cream or.
Because what happens to a lot of people is their alcohol cravings might turn to sugar cravings for a period of time. That's what I've noticed with a lot of people I come across. And what can happen is if you say, okay, I'm going to stop drinking alcohol and I'm gonna lose weight, I'm gonna exercise every day, and I'm gonna learn how to meditate and, and, and it's. It's too much. So one thing at a time and kind of introduce it slowly. You know what? It's unique to every, every person. What kind of tool work. But there's so many different tools from breath work and journaling. And, and then when I work with people, it's really a lot about mindset and then feelings. Those are the two. So how do you feel in your body? You know, your body feelings can then lead to your thoughts, but also some people start with their thoughts, and then it leads to their feelings in their body and then the action.
And we have so many thoughts during the day, thousands and thousands and thousands of thoughts, and we don't get to necessarily choose our thoughts. At least they're automatic until we become aware of them. Once we're aware of them, we can start to address them. And what I call them is like, kind of like little reframes, right? If you're having a lot of negative thoughts or thoughts around cravings, awareness is really key you cannot change something until you're aware of it, I mean, in what I believe. And then coming at it with self compassion. Huge part of coaching is, is self compassion and grace, and then sharing vulnerably. Sometimes when I'm working with people, they haven't shared, you know, I'm sharing right now really vulnerably. But a lot of times it's hard to share, even with your closest best friends or family. Those are the people, in fact, that I told last about my addiction problems. You know, I wanted to put on a front of, I've got everything under control, you know, but slowly you can share. Sometimes you need someone to share. I really think it's really a good, you know, that's why these communities, these, like, alcohol free communities, are so helpful, as you can share, relate and. Yeah, did I answer your question or did I go off on a tangent?
[00:32:06] Speaker B: I think that was helpful. Yeah, yeah. I think you were saying, you know, find your big pyramid, and if it's alcohol, and that was, for me, my biggest thing, I'm like, I gotta stop tying drinking less or not drinking to weight loss. Like, I need to. Just like you're anything but the alcohol. The ABa I love that is so helpful, and coming at it with the compassionate approach is wonderful.
I'm curious about the wine industry now. You're out of it, but, like, you still live there. You still get emails. You shared at sober in the city in Seattle, an email from the wine industry. Like, what has their response? But, like, what's going on in that world now? Because you still kind of are around it.
[00:32:59] Speaker C: Yeah. Do you want me to read that email that I shared at sober? We were. So that's where I met Deb, was at the sober and the city event in Seattle. It was a. A few weeks ago, and I'm just looking for the email now. Let me find it. So, yeah, let me read this email that I got. It was so crazy the way the alcohol industry is looking at this alcohol free movement. So they said that they were having a conference, and the focus is on one of the most. This is in quotes now. One of the most pressing topics within the wine industry today is the anti alcohol movement.
And this session will review a recent consumer research study detailing the challenges of attracting new wine drinkers and the misinformation propagated by anti alcohol lobbyists.
I believe that any reasonable person who has been following the news cannot help but see that the wine industry is in danger. And when the World Health Organization says that no amount of alcohol, not a single drop of wine is safe. It's time to pay attention.
So, additionally, our panel will provide viewers with a better understanding of the challenge facing wine from the neo prohibitionists, introduce new consumer campaigns, and offer tools and inspiration to push back against a rising trend. So. Wow.
[00:34:32] Speaker B: Yeah. When you said that, I was like.
[00:34:36] Speaker C: I know, like, so it. Yeah, it feels like a fight, like putting up your dukes, which.
I never thought about it like that. In fact, I had. I had lunch with. With a cousin of mine who works in the wine industry, and, yeah, it felt like a fight or something. And I'm like, no, I'm just helping people that have alcohol misuse, alcohol use disorder become free from alcohol. Yeah. Words like lobbyists and anti alcohol neo prohibitionists.
[00:35:11] Speaker B: It's interesting. I can't. I feel like it would almost be like, tobacco farmers realizing, like, this is bad. Like, I'm making cigarettes. I don't know, I just. I can't imagine the mixed emotions that kind of go on in the wine industry, which is filled with, I'm sure, you know, a lot of, like, families and farms and tradition, and, you know, it's like, wow, we've really been cultivating this product and selling it. And now that, you know, research is showing that any amount of alcohol is harmful for your health. And so that's got to be just an. It's just an interesting time we're in.
[00:35:56] Speaker C: It is. I mean, I feel for them. I think, honestly, I went to an event.
I'll share with you. It's kind of ironic. I went to one of these events. It was about two years ago. I got a booth. It was a wine industry event, and I actually promoted alcohol freedom coaching at the booth.
[00:36:18] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:36:19] Speaker C: And let me tell you, it was interesting. Most of the people were double taking.
What I noticed is I got a couple of my alcohol free friends to help me. And what we noticed is we kind of sat back and looked around, and we said, everybody looks kind of dull and gray and a little bit hungover, or, like, it was so interesting. And we looked. When we looked at ourselves, we were like, wow, we look vibrant and almost, like, glowing. It was very obvious, actually, when we started looking around, and that's because it is. It's. But they said that they need this. Like, I talked to a lot of my winemaker friends, a lot of people I worked in the wine industry. They do need this. They need more information or my. What I said to everyone is, why not make an af wine. Get on board now. Get on board now and early, because this af wine industry or the Naezen. And a beverage industry is. Is going to be a billion, billions of me. It is on the rise.
And so that would be my. My suggestion. It's not like a fight. It's more, how can we work together? You know, maybe make. Make. Have options. Other options.
[00:37:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
It's so interesting to me. Well, I'm like, am I anti alcohol? And I think I kind of am. Like, I am anti alcohol. Like, I'm anti smoking.
[00:37:52] Speaker C: Yeah. I think it's a really good analogy or, you know, comparison. The. The cigarette industry and that and the alcohol industry.
[00:38:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:01] Speaker C: And I do think we're going in that direction. I don't. I'm not, like, saying I want to go to prohibition at all. Like, sure, there can be alcohol, whatever, but each person gets to choose what they want to do for their own health. Right.
[00:38:15] Speaker B: Right. And I just think so that they're aware. And I think also, like he said, they need this. Like, this is probably. The wine industry is probably full of a lot of people who do want to change their drinking, and they're stuck, and they're like, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to. I don't see a lot of examples of this. Like, how do I unwind myself from the wine industry?
[00:38:44] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I shared a little bit of my story, but, I mean, I can share again, like, it was to detangle my identity. I literally was, like, Ruby, who works in the wine industry. It was, like, so tied together. I was the one that brought wine to everything. I was the one that was the party girl to have felt like I was a hypocrite, you know? Oh, so now you're not drinking?
And I've. I've. It took so long for me to detangle it. Probably a year or more of really working on my identity, my beliefs, and detangling all those stories. Like, I am Ruby, who works in the wine industry, and then I had to find a different job in a different industry, and now I'm a coach. But, like, it was. It was a mind, like, f. Like, I was like, how do I do this? You know, how do I detangle myself? And I feel for these people that would be my next group of people I want to work with is like, okay, you're in the wine industry or the alcohol industry, but how do you detangle?
[00:39:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And I think having places where you can start by practicing not drinking, where you can start by, you know, not having to go all the way in like, aa, not having to declare, I'm never gonna drink forever. I'm an alcoholic. You know, like. Like you said in the beginning, like, labels have changed. It matters so much that it's alcohol use disorder, and it's on a spectrum, and it can happen to anyone.
[00:40:15] Speaker C: Anyone. Yeah. And my program, you actually do not stop drinking right away. You actually continue drinking as normal, but you become aware and curious and build that self compassion muscle, and then you learn all about your beliefs and the science. And then when I work with clients, we start with maybe one day or a weekend, and then eventually, we try to lengthen the goal, if that's what they want to do. But, you know, it's. I think it's brilliant to just, especially for people in the alcohol industry to just say, learn how to control alcohol. Don't stop, but learn how to control alcohol and try it. In fact, I have a wine free weekend guide. That's my. When you go to my website. So try it for a weekend. No.
[00:41:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And it's almost like you're dating the alcohol free life you're trying. Especially, like you said, if your identity is so wrapped up into being a drinker, whether you're in the. In an industry that drinks or not, like, it's so hard to change. So just being gracious about how we change, it's gonna help you in the long run, so.
[00:41:38] Speaker C: Exactly. Yeah, yeah. I mean. Oh, go ahead. Sorry.
[00:41:44] Speaker B: No, yeah, I want to hear.
[00:41:47] Speaker C: Oh. Just what made me think about it was it was a process. Like, I had all my stem wear, and I had t shirts that said rose all day, and I had.
You name it, I had napkins that said, it's 05:00 p.m. somewhere, and placards and all that. It was a lifestyle. Right.
And I would post on social media. When I think back, it's just. It's so different. And I actually remember there was one lady who I think I went to high school with who was going alcohol free, and she would post, like, I'm six months alcohol free, and then I'm a year alcohol free. And I remember just, that was what I wanted, but I didn't know how to get. I didn't know I was in denial or something. And just, like, I can't do it because I'm in the industry.
Yeah.
[00:42:40] Speaker B: And you did it. You did it.
[00:42:41] Speaker C: I did it, yeah. And now I'm helping others. And on a podcast like this, I can't even believe that. Like.
[00:42:48] Speaker B: And you have your own podcast, and you have your own stuff. So how. How can people find you?
[00:42:54] Speaker C: Ruby, what a great question. I. Well, my website is, or my business is called freedom renegade coaching. And why I chose the word renegade is like going against the grain. You know, being a rebel, I think being a badass, like, I see I resonate with all those kinds of words, so. And my podcast with my co host, Susan Larkin is called feel lit alcohol free. And like, lit for hundreds of years meant, you know, drunk, you know, get lit, but it now means, you know, living I free and energized. And so, you know, how. How do you feel when you're alcohol free? You feel lit, you're energized and free and, you know, happier. And I love it.
[00:43:44] Speaker B: I love. I love the words you chose. The alcohol. The feel lit alcohol free podcast. Freedom Renegade coaching. Yes. That's so badass. I'll definitely put the links in the show notes.
[00:43:58] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:43:58] Speaker B: Just thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. I'm sure it's going to help a lot of people. I really appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing your story and then just all the hope and help you offer.
[00:44:12] Speaker C: Thank you so much. This has been so fun. Yeah.
[00:44:17] Speaker A: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. Please share and review the show. You can help other people, too. I want you to know I'm always here for you, so please reach out and talk to me on instagram. I'll caholetippingpoint and check out my website, alcoholtippingpoint.com, for free resources and help. No matter where you are on your drinking journey, I want to encourage you to just keep practicing, keep going. I promise you are not alone and you are worth it. Every day you practice not drinking is a day you can learn from. I hope you can use these tips we talked about for the rest of your week. And until then, talk to you next time.
