[00:00:01] Speaker A: Welcome to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. I'm your host, Deb Masner. I'm a registered nurse, health coach, and alcohol free badass.
[00:00:10] Speaker B: I have found that there's more than.
[00:00:11] Speaker A: One way to address drinking. If you've ever asked yourself if drinking is taking more than it's giving, or if you found that you're drinking more than usual, you may have reached your own alcohol tipping point. The alcohol tipping point is a podcast for you to find tips, tools, and thoughts to change your drinking. Whether you're ready to quit forever or.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: A week, this is the place for you.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: You are not stuck and you can change.
[00:00:35] Speaker B: Let's get started.
[00:00:44] Speaker A: Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate you. I want to take a sec to invite you to the next alcoholiday. It's a monthly dry group where I help people practice not drinking. This is for you. If you feel like you're struggling, if you feel like you're stuck, if you feel like you're broken, you're never going to get it. I want to just support you and arm you with lots of different tools to battle cravings.
Work on your thinking about drinking. Be more kind and compassionate to yourself as you're doing this. You know, drinking is a habit and it's probably something you've done for years or decades. Even so, it takes a while to unwind it. And that's why I'm so passionate about focusing on practicing, not drinking, working on progress, not perfection. I love the saying focus on the direction, not perfection. And I think it's important just to have these types of groups, programs that just give you a safe place that has no shame, no judgment. A safe place where you can just learn new tools and just start unwinding the habit so that it gets easier and easier for you to drink less or not at all. I would love to have you join the next alcoholiday. It starts the first of every month. As a podcast listener, you always get 20% off by using the code love love and it is hosted on a private platform. It is a HIPAA protected platform. It's really important to me as a nurse just to have privacy and a safe place for you. And what you get is daily emails, lessons, accountability. You get lots and lots of tools to battle cravings. You get a really detailed guidebook journal to help you out during those 30 days, 31 days, whatever the length of the month is. And then you get downloadable audio meditations. Just something to go to when you're feeling a craving. We also do weekly group chats, weekly group support calls led by me and another sober coach twice a week. And then there's also a private chat where you can just share with others, support others, and it's just a great place to practice not drinking. The cost is $89 us dollars. That is so it's less than $3 a day. Plus use that lo ve code to get your discount. And just a little background on me. I have been a registered nurse for 20 years. I'm a board certified health coach. I'm a smart recovery certified facilitator, an addiction certified mental health professional. I'm a mindfulness instructor. And then you all know I like to call myself an alcohol free badass. I've been alcohol free for four and a half years now, so I would love to see you in the next group. You can sign
[email protected] alcoholiday and join there. I also will link it in my show notes. Wherever you are with your drinking journey, just know that I am rooting for you, that you are not broken and you can change. Thanks so much.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: Welcome back to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. Today we have Derek Santiago. Derek is a mocktail based in southern California. He's the author of the recipe book the Mocktail Club and the newly released Recipe Deck. Make it a mocktail. I got one and it's adorable. I love it. Just, that's an aside.
He is also the creator of Mocktail Wiz, an Instagram page and website dedicated to kraft mocktails, non alcoholic cocktail recipes and mindful mixology techniques. Derek has worked as a mocktail recipe designer, photographer and video creator with leading brands in the non alcoholic beverage industry, which if you've been paying attention, it is booming. It is booming. You can find out
[email protected] but I was just excited to have Derek on the show to hear his story. Love hearing people's stories and then talk a little bit about mocktails and just have fun. So welcome, Derek.
[00:05:19] Speaker C: Hello. Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.
[00:05:23] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm so glad you're here. And you've kind of been on this journey. You're in the United States now, but you said you were born in the Philippines and lived in the Philippines.
I love hearing about people and their stories. So do you have anything to add to your intro about who you are and what you do?
[00:05:44] Speaker C: I think you captured everything. I would just add that I've been alcohol free for over two years now. Yeah, second year alcohol free anniversary in June. Just last month or two months now. Two months ago, yeah. Yeah.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: Well, that is awesome. And I loved when you had signed up for this, how you talk about going from sober curious to sober serious. That is. So I think you see that a lot for people, and I love that now we have kind of the space and the landscape and all these modern movements. Like, you're part of this mocktail and a beverage industry that make it okay to be sober curious. And a lot of people are choosing, like, I'm done with drinking. Why do I even need to drink? Right?
[00:06:35] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. So I'll tell you a little bit about my background and how it all got started, and that kind of will lead to the book and then later on the deck. But like I mentioned, I grew up in the Philippines, born and raised there, and I moved to the US in 2013 for a job. But growing up in the Philippines, alcohol wasn't really a part of a big part of my life. There was not any alcohol in the house growing up. My mother didn't drink much or at all. Like, I've never seen her drink, actually. And my dad drank, but he worked abroad. He worked in Saudi Arabia for most of my life. And he would only go home for, like, a month every two years or so, so.
[00:07:20] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:07:21] Speaker C: Yeah. So every time he goes home, then, you know, it's like, oh, dad's here. And then it's also the time when his friends will come over and, you know, because they've not seen him for a long time. And that's the only time I would see drinking. But it's outside the house because my mom's ruling no drinking inside the house. So it's like, outside in the. In the front yard or something like that. And also. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, yeah.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: I just wanted to ask, like, was that just your mom or is the Philippines in general, like, the culture? What's the drinking culture there?
[00:07:53] Speaker C: That was just my mom because the. The boys get rowdy, you know, so she doesn't like that. And then there are kids in the house, so she just didn't like these men who we don't really know because they're my father's friends, just outside the house, and they can have fun there. But my mother's was just like, don't bring it in. We're going to try to sleep early and things like that. But in general, I would say it's kind of a drinky culture, but not like in the US. And I will get to that in my observation.
But, yeah, even in high school, I went to a public high school and it wasn't really a big thing, at least not in my circle. Even in college, I went to a catholic school. So, like, we. It wasn't the. It wasn't top of mind, not like how we see it in the movies where it's like, oh, party, party. It was a different story for me. I didn't really see that when I was growing up in the Philippines. So even when I was working happy hours and I worked in the city, in the Philippines, in the business central, and even then, most of the happy hours were focused on an activity. So karaoke is big in the Philippines. So I feel like a lot of my friends are going to be on the karaoke waiting for their turn to sing. But the drinking is kind of, like, on the side, like, at least. Again, my circle, we were, like, having fun in the singing and not so much the drinking. So that was my experience growing up in how alcohol was almost not a big or not a big part at all of my life growing up. And then in 2013, I was given the opportunity to move to the US by the company that I worked for in the Philippines. And initially it was just going to be for a year. But after experiencing the convenience of living here and not having the two hour commute one way that I had in the Philippines, and just, like, better compensation, I decided to stay.
But, yeah, when I moved to the US, and I've told this story, for those who know me, I've probably told this a lot of times, but I think it's just funny and also relevant as a. As a foreigner moving to the US, I found myself in the middle of happy hours a lot. And the difference is there's no karaoke mus at the time. It's just the drinking and the talking. And I remember this very specific scenario. So my HR guy, I think it was like, fifth day in America, and we were at this happy hour in a nice place somewhere in San Diego. And so I joined, and they were like, oh, this is Derek. He just came here from the Philippines. Derek, what would you like to drink? And I panicked. I didn't know what to drink because, like I said, I. I haven't been drinking. And so in a panic, I said, champagne? And they laughed. And they were like, what are we in a wedding? And I was like, I don't know what to order. So I did have that champagne, but also, it was like, now it's funny. And even at that time, I found it funny because it's just me being a foreigner, not knowing what to order, but at that time, too, I made it a point to do my research.
And like I say, in most of the talks that I do, I trained for happy hours because I want to be better at it. And I got really, really good at it, if you know what I'm saying. But so that was my introduction to how. How it's a little different from what I grew up with.
And also I had a lot of anxiety in those happy hours. I actually dreaded them because being a foreigner, my cultural references are different, and a lot of the cultural references here I don't get, even though Philippines is heavily westernized. And so I get some of the references, but not all.
When I went to happy hours, I find myself nervous not knowing what to drink. And then there's the drink, and the drink kind of relaxes me a little. Right?
And so I got better at happy hours and just looking forward to, I'll just drink so that it will loosen me up a little bit. So that was the beginning of it. That was 2013 when I think alcohol started entering the building in my life. And then. But I didn't really think of drinking much back then, so it wasn't still a big part. It was just, oh, gosh, we have a happy hour again. Here we go again. So I would have to go and then drink, etcetera.
But one use that I found for alcohol was that it can shut my mind off, is what I found. This was in towards the end of 2013, maybe beginning of 2014. I was in a very stressful project, and I was just thinking about it all the time. I couldn't sleep because I was worrying about the next day. And I found that if I had a couple of glasses of wine, I go straight to sleep. And so that's what I did. When I can't sleep, I would drink a couple glasses of wine. It will, you know, send me straight to sleep. And so that was a. I found a use, another use of for alcohol, which is to just go to sleep and. But like I said, it was still not a big. I wasn't thinking about drinking all the time. And I was, I think, a moderate. A moderate drinker. Like, I would only drink when we have happy hours or when I couldn't sleep. But things changed, and I think I was successful in moderating my drinking. But things changed when my mom passed away in 2020, and that's what made the moderation hard. And for a couple of years, I told myself that I deserve this. Like, the world is still moving on and I'm grieving, and I deserve this. I deserve drinking. And I kind of just did that and kind of numbed out. Like, I remember thinking that, oh, because it's hard, physically to cry, and I feel like, you know, your grief and your emotions, they get built up inside you. And at that time, I felt that, okay, I'm gonna drink. So I could just let it all out. But what happens usually is I would drink and I would just get drunk and then fall asleep. So it's like it doesn't work. But for a couple of years, I kind of still tried to moderate my drinking, but it was harder. And also I had this mentality that, who cares? Like, I lost my mother. It's fine. I'm just going to drink. So it started with, like, a couple of days of drinking allowed per week. This is my effort in moderation. Like, let's do weekends only. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. And every time I drink, it would just be up to three drinks per day. That was my effort. And then it's only. It's. It slowly crept up. Like, oh, Tuesday is date night. So at date night, I will allow myself to drink up to three drinks. And so now we have, like, four days a week, and then now. And then suddenly the three drinks became heavier and heavier pours of the. I'm cheating myself, right? There's like three drinks, but in reality, that's more like six or seven with the volume. So it became like that. And then, especially towards the death anniversary of my mom, I find that I drank more. And so to me, it's like the death anniversary. I just dreaded it. So it's like, it's going to be next month or so. So I'm just going to drink every day. That's fine.
I also lost my dad, by the way, in 2021. So within not even a year, my mom passed away in June of 2020. My dad passed away in April of 2021. So it just, like a lot of things and a lot of things going on. And so that's why I thought I deserve alcohol. And now I think about it, what a silly thought that I deserve to put this poison in my body. I give myself grace because as people, we just use the tools that we have available or the tools that we know of. And at the time, alcohol was the tool. And it worked for a while until it stopped working. And I just was left with the feeling of shame and guilt. And every time I drank over the limit, I would feel bad and I would beat myself up for it. And then also the physical effects of alcohol. I have a consulting job, and it's very demanding. I lead a lot of meetings there early in the morning, and after a night of drinking, I feel very slow in the morning, and so I would again, beat myself up for it. So it's just I didn't feel good anymore. And that's when I started questioning my relationship with alcohol.
[00:16:59] Speaker B: Thank you so much for sharing, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom and your dad and.
Yeah, yeah. For anybody, definitely.
I was just kind of reflecting, taking notes as you were talking about just how different it was when you came to the United States and just that wanting to fit in and being part of the group and happy hour, and that was kind of tied in with your job, too, right? It was the work colleagues.
[00:17:32] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. And my role, too, is more client facing, so I needed to be better at it. I felt like it was a good practice for me to do happy hours with my workmates so that when I do this with clients, I would be better at it. And I am naturally an introvert. Introvert. And so it takes a lot of energy for me to be talking. And also, at that time, I was in a unique position that it's my first time being in a country where if I don't speak English, they wouldn't understand me. And so there's just a lot of pressure during those first few months and a lot to learn.
I remember a specific switch. Like, I was, we speak English in the Philippines a lot. We work with clients, and we speak in English a lot. But after the phone calls, you end the call, and then you switch back to my native town, which is Filipino. And also, we have a specific accent in the Philippines. And so I was speaking in that accent. It's English, but the accent is more filipino accent. And I was in a call, and my clients kind of can't understand what I'm saying. And so I remember this moment of, oh, I need to switch my accent to american accent so that they could understand me better. So there was a lot of things going on. I'm trying to think about fitting in. I'm trying to think about literally translating in my head and also adjusting my accent. And then there's alcohol in there, and it relaxes me. And so I was like, okay, so that's how I told myself, okay, it's okay to go to happy hours. You'll just have a drink, and you'll feel a little better. And so, yeah, that was the earlier part of my move here to the US.
[00:19:23] Speaker B: Yeah. And it worked.
[00:19:25] Speaker C: Right.
[00:19:25] Speaker B: I mean, and it's, like, socially accepted. And you're with your colleagues and your clients, and it's like, oh, this is what we do here. I guess I'm gonna do it, too.
[00:19:36] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:19:37] Speaker B: And especially that experience of being in a new country, of a new pressure of your job, of just like, oh, just a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. And then you learned, like, oh, alcohol. It's also helping me sleep. It's also helping with my anxiety. And then with the loss of your mom and it being 2020 and Covid.
[00:20:04] Speaker C: And, wow, it was a crazy time because this was in June, so we were already locked down, and. And so when my mom passed away, we were lucky enough that there were two flights going to the Philippines coming out of LA, and we were able to get into one of the flights, and so we were able to go home and at least, you know, send her off. My dad, unfortunately, was on the second flight, but that flight got canceled because our airport in the Philippines shut down. They were not letting any airplanes in. So my dad wasn't able to go back home and see my mom, but we were able to. But, yeah, it was after we had to quarantine, when we got there, but the moment we were released from quarantine, and I was able to go back to my family there, I asked for, like, a big. I think it was a boxed wine, because I'm like, now I'm done. I'm through. I'm here. I can drink now. So even then, I was. I was so in.
How do you say it? In the sauce? Like I would. It was just. I was thinking about drinking all the time. I thought that was the only way to cope with the hardship, and really, it wasn't coping. It was just numbing, because it was a lot of feelings that I didn't want to feel and I didn't want to face, but it was right there. And I thought at that time that, okay, this will make me feel better. And it did for maybe 20 minutes. And then I got greeted by a very, like, the worst hangover of my life was the morning after I. After my mom passed away. So, because we. We got to call it early in the morning. It was a Thursday, and I remember just the whole day, I had, like, a cheap jug of Carlo Rossi.
It was, like, cheap, cheap wine, and that was the only thing that was in there. And I remember I was facetiming with family, and I was just drinking that and started early. And then, you know, with all the crying and all the drinking the following morning, it felt like my head was going to explode. And it was the worst hangover ever in my life. And. Yeah, but at that time, it didn't know any better, and so I just did it.
[00:22:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I think that the something else you were talking about was this whole idea, like, we deserve alcohol. I deserve alcohol for doing hard things, for going through hard times, for surviving. You know, it's like, oh, yeah, I deserve this. I. You know, things are tough right now. I deserve this. It's a treat. Right?
[00:22:47] Speaker C: Yeah, it's like, you deserve it when you're going through hard times. Also, you drink when you're celebrating good times. And it was the conditioning, and really, and I wanted to talk about that because it was hard to stop drinking, hard to even moderate in the beginning. But from my story, I actually listened to the book, this naked mind by Annie Grace, and that somehow clicked. I have friends who are in the twelve step program, and so I'd been to open meetings where visitors are allowed, and I do find their stories inspiring, but it wasn't my story. I couldn't identify with the stories that I was hearing. And for a time, I actually thought, oh, okay, so I'm not that bad. I will keep drinking.
Okay, so this is the group who are part of this program. I'm not like that, so therefore, I don't have a problem. And so I will just keep drinking. And, like, didn't even gave myself a pass. Right. And. But in 2022, when I started to really look into my relationship with alcohol, I thought, just because I don't have a DUI or what have you doesn't mean that this is not a problem. Because I was physically feeling it. I feel slow. I feel heavier, both emotionally and physically, too. I was gaining weight, and so I was like, you know, you need to look into this. And I found an app called I am sober. I think it's like a countdown app. And in the forum, the community forum there, they talked about this naked mind, the book. And so I picked up the book and I listened to it, and immediately the story was just like mine, you know, waking up at 03:00 in the morning, and that's when we are truly honest with ourselves. And, oh, I'm not gonna drink anymore today. That was rough. You wake up in the morning, and it's how. It's like it never happened, and you're gonna pick up a drink again at 05:00 p.m. so it was like. And she was in kind of like an executive role, and I just related with the story. Being in consulting and the pressures of work. And so I just kept listening to it. And in the beginning, and I started out just being sober, curious because I wasn't ready to commit to being sober. I thought life would be forever boring if I stopped drinking. So I was just like, I'm just going to moderate, but first I need to maybe take a break. Let's do one week. And so I did one week of break. And to get me through those, through the first week, I leaned into an Na beer is what I, because I was an IPA drinker, so I had, like, a hazy ipa that's non alcoholic. And that's what got me through the first week, working week in the evenings. And then when I got to Saturday, this is when I usually do my meal prep. And when I meal prep, I drink. And that's when I first made my first mocktail, was that first Saturday. And I made a spicy pineapple margarita with jalapeno. And the heat kind of scratched the itch. It kind of mimicked the alcohol burn. And I thought, oh, okay, I can have fun with this. So the, the week of break turned into, you know what? Let's do 14 days. And then.
Excuse me. Sorry, excuse me.
And then, so the week became 14 days, and then I was like, oh, actually, let's do a whole month. How about that? And then it was June, so it became July when I was trying to do one month, and then dry July was a thing. And I, and that's when I was, I had a lot of mocktail recipe ideas. I couldn't sleep because now I have clarity again. I couldn't sleep not because I'm worrying, but because I have a lot of ideas. And I was literally writing down recipe ideas on my notes at like twelve, midnight just because I'm like, how about this? You know? And then I would test it out and stuff like that. And so it became 30 days, and then dry July happened, and I started posting my recipes on Instagram just because, you know, I had a lot of recipes and I feel like I wanted to share them. And I had, I just wanted to have an outlet for this creativity that I rediscovered because I've always been a creative person. But with alcohol taking the center stage in my life the last few years, that creativity kind of took a backseat. But when I stopped drinking immediately, it's almost immediate that I found my creativity back again. And so that's when I started mocktail whiz. And it's funny, too. I joke about it, but it kind of got attention in the beginning. And so I thought oh, now I can't drink anymore because, you know, I will be a fraud if I start drinking again. But that was a joke, but it played a little bit of a part. You know, there's accountability there because now. And I found that the longer break that I had, like, the more space that I had between me and alcohol, the easier it got.
And then also, I had my mocktails with me when I feel the urge to drink. And that was helping, and it worked for me. I know it's not for everyone, but, yeah, the more space I had from alcohol, the better it got. I lost some weight. The mental clarity is something that is big for me. And it's like I'm still anxious because I'm normal. You know, I'm an astro person. But it's nice to know in the morning that when I feel anxious, I'm like, oh, that's just you, Derek. It's not alcohol. You didn't have a drink last night. That's just you. And to me, it's like, okay. And then I feel better almost instantly. I don't know if that makes sense. But, yeah, that's how I got.
That's how it started from being sober, curious, because I wasn't ready to commit to a lifetime of sobriety, but I just kept going. And now I am sober serious, because I don't think I'll go back. I'm not saying that I'm never going to drink because, you know, that's a lifetime. Right. But right now, I don't feel the need. I don't see a reason to. I've been alcohol free for two years, and I've had good times and bad times, and there was not a drop of alcohol in there. And I'm fine. And a lot. I thought that life would be boring. And since I stopped drinking, I've done things that I would have never dreamed of doing. And so, yeah, it's been a very, very not boring life. It's quite the opposite.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: Yay. I'm sort of just, like, cheering you on because I'm like, oh, yeah, that book. I. Same for me. Like, finding this naked mind and Annie Grace was so paradigm shifting because for so, like, you were saying you had kind of seen AA meetings and whatnot and compared yourself, like, to them, and you were like, well, I'm not that bad. And that kind of keeps us stuck. I did the same thing. I did the same, you know, and working as a nurse in a hospital, like, you see people who do hit rock bottom, and it's like, we are like, you were functioning at your job and doing very well and living life and, you know, a successful person who still had issues with drinking and not hitting rock bottom.
[00:30:33] Speaker C: Yeah. And I thought that that was. I thought it was black and white. And for a very long time, I thought, okay, I'm not that bad, so I'm good. Right? So I will keep drinking. And then I actually, before I found this naked mind, I found a book called almost alcoholic. And that book kind of opened. That's where I learned about the gray area drinking, that it's a spectrum.
And so that explained that, yeah, you probably are not. You don't identify with people in the program because you're in the gray area. But you keep doing this, you'll probably end up there also, but it doesn't mean that you're not there yet, that there's no reason to question your relationship. And in that book, they were saying that when you're in the gray, you can still go back to the lighter side of the spectrum, but somehow, at one point, you cross the line, and it will be difficult to do it by yourself, and you need some. Some professional help or support of a program. But, yeah, the gray area drinking. And I kind of lily padded from there, like, found I am sober app. And then I found reframe also. And then somehow between those two apps, I found almost alcoholics book. And then this naked mind. And when I listened to this naked mind, that sealed the deal for me. And I always hate listening to it. Like, how you, you know, how you sometimes hate watch a show. I was like, kind of hate listening to it for in the beginning because I was like, how dare you tell me all these things about my dear friend alcohol. You know, I was still fighting for it, kind of like rooting for it. But the more I listened to it, the more I was like, oh, she's right. She's probably right. And I kept re listening to it over and over until it stuck with me. And, yeah, she. Yeah, that book really changed my life, I would say. Because if not for that book, I wouldn't have stopped drinking, I don't think. Or it would take me longer to kind of figure out a way to stop drinking.
[00:32:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. What a gift. I always think, you know, thank God Annie Grace came from the marketing world and business world, because she got it out there. Right. We needed to get this message out there, and. And we're seeing things slow. We're seeing things change. We're seeing it. You know, people are choosing to not drink alcohol because it's shipped for your health.
[00:33:15] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:33:15] Speaker B: And you don't have to have a drinking problem to quit drinking.
[00:33:18] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. Yep. And even just taking a break for a day, a week, a month, all these things are good. It's always good to take a break from alcohol, whether you're gonna drink again or not. And when I get the opportunity to talk to people, that's always my. I feel like it's a better entry point to be sober curious than to. Because I started there. Like, I was just curious about the alcohol free lifestyle, and then I ended up loving it. And it just brought so many blessings into my life that every time I get the opportunity to share my story and talk about being sober curious, I take it, hopefully, to inspire people to dabble in it. And I am proof that it's not boring. It's not. That was my biggest concern, was I'm going to be just so bored. What am I going to do? But then, guess what? When you stop drinking, you gain a lot of time because you don't just, you know, sit on the couch at night and watch Netflix anymore.
That was my favorite pastime when I was drinking, because I can drink while watching Netflix. And then, you know, you forget half of the show because you drink too much. But, yeah, you gain a lot of time back, and it's just been great. And I encourage people to, you know, to at least try it. And there's a couple of months in the year, dry January, dry July, sober October, that I think is a perfect time to try it because there's a lot of support from businesses and the community, and you just never know what will happen.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
It's so good. It's why I run monthly alcoholidays. I provide a place for people to safely practice not drinking in a judgment free, shame free zone. Just like, hey, I want to support you, help you, because it is hard.
[00:35:19] Speaker C: It is.
[00:35:19] Speaker B: It can be hard. Give you some tools, and you can decide.
[00:35:23] Speaker C: And.
[00:35:24] Speaker B: And you're right. Like, you don't have to decide forever. You could just be like, for now, I'm alcohol free. And that suits me.
[00:35:33] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. That's when the phrase I keep hearing about one day at a time, and that phrase, and I. And when I was trying to stop drinking in the beginning, that's when it. I really understood what that meant. Because if I look, oh, you know, I stopped in June. June 6 was my date. And I was like, oh, summer.
How am I going to survive summer without my. My spritz, you know, and, you know, all my white claw and stuff. Like, that. But, you know, just for today, there just focus for. Focus on today. You know, just try not to drink today and then we'll do it again tomorrow. And that's how I kind of trained myself to be open to the possibility because just thinking about forever is so daunting. And, yeah, I used these milestones, and I, in the beginning, especially, I counted the days because it felt like an achievement. Right now, I don't count the days anymore. I just remember the milestone dates and, oh, I got two years now, etcetera. But in the beginning, I used that just one day at a time. And then let's try to get to 14 days. Let's try to get to 30. How about 1000 hours? It's kind of like these little milestones because I'm such a checkbox kind of guy. So that helped me in the beginning.
[00:36:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. I agree so much. And if you do drink, you don't have to count days. You can.
You can just learn from it and then just move on. Like it's a process.
[00:37:12] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:37:13] Speaker B: Well, I think what you're doing is helping people also be. So we're curious. Cause a lot of the times, you know, you're talking about summer or work or whatever, it's like, okay, how do I do these events alcohol free, and how can I make it fun and enjoyable? And so can you talk about how you started your mocktail? Well, I mean, just talked about the starting the instagram, but, yeah, it's evolved.
[00:37:42] Speaker C: Yeah. So the spicy pineapple margarita was the first mocktail. And I thought, oh, okay, there's. This can be fun. I've had mixology background before I went. I took a class back in 2016, so I've always been into mixology with alcohol, and I've been making drinks for friends and, you know, in parties and stuff like that. So I do have some background and some knowledge. And then when I stopped drinking and did that spicy pineapple margarita, just with ingredients that were available to me at the time in the house, I thought, oh, there is something that I can do here. And then I took it as a challenge because without the alcohol, you really are just, you know, left with just the flavor. There's no alcohol to hide behind, to kind of like. It's. It's almost like a cheat to make something good, put more alcohol in it. People will love it. Right. Without the alcohol, you're just left with just flavor, texture, and no cheating, basically. So I took that as a challenge, and then I started using that also in my happy hours because I'm still working my day job, and I still go to happy hours. And so in the beginning, I wasn't ready to talk about me being alcohol free yet because I didn't even know if I was going to do it for the rest of my life. I kind of just sneakily order, you know, virgin mojitos, and then it's just so that it's. It's. It looks like a drill drink, but there's no alcohol in it. Just to avoid questions. So I used mocktails to fit in without me having to explain why I'm drinking. I'm not drinking. And so mocktails, I've used it as a tool to kind of still fit in with the happy hour worlds without people asking you questions. And then I started mocktail whiz on Instagram, sharing recipes and just working with different brands. And in the beginning, I was, you know, going to the store, finding which brands spirit alternatives are good. And then. But later on in the process, I start asking the restaurants for options because we do deserve a nice drink without the alcohol. How come you have a ton of options for cocktails but nothing for mocktails? And so from just being quietly fitting into the happy hour, I started shifting. They won't put anything on the menu unless they know that there is a demand for this. So I started doing that, asking for options to plant the seed. And then later on, I started, you know, chatting them up, you know, talking about some of the brands. You might want to try this because I think a lot of people will appreciate adult drinks and not, you know, be left at the kids table when it comes to drinking. So, yeah, so mocktails can be a good tool to use when you're going to happy hours if you're not ready to answer questions. And now I'm at this point, I kind of am now out in my work that I have this book, I have this deck, so they know that I'm the mocktail guy. And I love that because now people who also don't drink, hey, Derek is here. So now when we go to events, these people who also don't drink, like Derek, what's good to order here? What mocktails can we have? And so now we have this. I think it's good to see people who are not drinking be open about it because it encourages other people that, hey, that can be, I'm with Derek, and I'm not going to drink. There's actually one event that we went to, and I ordered a mocktail, and it was an event where we host clients and make sure that they have a good time. And so I ordered a mocktail, and at least eight other people from my company started with a mocktail because they said, we want to be in our a game tonight when we talk to these clients, and we don't want to be buzzed. So what are we having, Derek? So we ordered mocktails, and it was like, at least nine of us who did that in the beginning. And I was like, oh, this fills my heart so much.
Yeah.
[00:41:55] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm glad that you shared about that, because I was going to ask, like, what you were seeing in the workplace and how coming out to people in the workplace is kind of a brave thing to do.
[00:42:11] Speaker C: Yeah. And it feels vulnerable because I can't talk about mocktails without sharing where it started. And actually, in January, it just so happened that I was the employee spotlight in one of our monthly office wide meetings. And it was January. My book just came out. So I shared about my whole story, like, my work story history, and then my personal story in my book, and a lot of. And also I served mocktails in that company event. And so a lot of the people approached me afterwards, thanking me for the vulnerability. A lot of them shared that I also don't drink, and I also get pressured to drink all the time. And it's so nice. It's so refreshing for you to share that because hopefully people will stop pressuring us to drink when we don't want to. And then there are also a lot of people offline who ping me on the side, thanking me for sharing. And also that it's inspiring and that some of them are actually trying to stop drinking, too, or moderate. And it's good to know that people just like them are going through this, too, because sometimes it can feel very lonely. It's such an individual journey that you don't hear about a lot, especially in the drinking world, that people appreciate the openness. And so even though it takes a lot to be vulnerable and share personal details about my life, I feel it's worth it because people can identify and hopefully they would feel not alone in this journey.
[00:43:52] Speaker B: It's so worth it. And it's so, like you said, it's vulnerable, but it's so brave, and it is helping change the whole cultural conversation.
[00:44:03] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:44:05] Speaker B: And I just, as you were talking, I'm like, just imagine if it was something like, I gave up gluten like that because it's so typical and there's no stigma associated.
[00:44:16] Speaker C: There's no stigma. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: Right. It's just like, I needed to give up gluten. It was making me feel like crap. And people aren't like, did you have a rock bottom? What happened?
[00:44:28] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:44:29] Speaker B: Like, do you need help? Do you go. Did you go to rehab? Gluten rehab? I mean, you know what I mean?
[00:44:35] Speaker C: Yeah. Or are you sure? Just one bread, just one bite. You don't want to do it? No, because I feel like with drinking, you have to explain why, and people pressure you. Just have one drink. It's fine. I'm like, no, you don't know. You don't know. And so I don't know. But if it was me or is it the movement altogether that now when we have happy hours, there's at least one non alcoholic option, because they know that, you know, there are people in this office who don't drink. And so it's. I feel like, in my own little way, I'm contributing to the movement that, hey, not everyone here drinks, so let's give those people a little something. And you can ask Derek for recommendations, too, you know? So, yeah. So appreciate the opportunity to share, because I do think that especially when I was trying to cut back. Right. It took me a lot of attempts until I heard my own story via Annie Grace in this naked mind, you know, a story that I can identify with that, oh, that's just like me. And so, you know, so you having this type of forum, I think, helps spread the word and helps people have other people that they can identify with. So thank you for doing this.
[00:45:58] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. Yeah. And I really, as, like, a nurse in the healthcare profession, want to take the stigma out of it. Like, this is a health. This can be a health and wellness conversation and decision. It doesn't need to have all the morality and stigma and everything associated with it. And so I think normalizing, being sober, being a non drinker, is really going to help.
And what you're doing is just providing resources and information and normalizing it and showing your face, sharing your story, helping influence the business culture. That's amazing.
[00:46:41] Speaker C: Thank you. Yay.
[00:46:43] Speaker B: Yay to us, everybody. Okay, let's see. Before you go, is there anything you want to share about, you know, if people are looking for favorite mocktail ideas or recipes or simple things they could do?
[00:47:01] Speaker C: Yeah. So that's another thing. I thought, you know, if I stopped drinking, I would just be stuck with soda or, you know, just boring drink served in a unexciting tumbler, and you kind of feel left out when people are having martinis and martini glasses and rocks glasses, and then you have this giant jug of water, basically with no garnish. So we're trying to change that. You can still have fun drinks to drink when you don't drink alcohol anymore. And that's what my goal is with my mock till Wiz Instagram page, is to show people that, hey, you can have fun things to drink even when you don't drink alcohol. You don't need to have exotic ingredients to do them. I personally feel that, or I personally think that if you are looking for complex cocktails without the alcohol, the best way to get close to the real taste is to have the spirit alternatives. So I do provide options that use spirit alternatives to kind of get that same complexity as regular cocktail. But if you don't have access to that, there are also a lot of other ingredients that you can use. And so that's when where my book will be coming in handy. So my first book, the Mocktail Club, it's a book of 75 recipes. It's divided into different spirit alternatives. So if my goal is to make it as easy as possible. So let's say you only have the gin alternative. You can have at least a dozen recipes that you can use with just that one bottle. And the rest of the ingredients are things that you can find in grocery stores. So I really made it a point to make it easy. And I know some of the spirit alternatives can be expensive, so I didn't even mix two different kinds together. So there, and then there's also a whole section of recipes that don't use spirit alternatives. And you can use other ingredients, like maybe tea. You know, you can use black tea as your base or ginger shots, you know, so some of these things that it will still give you that complexity and strong flavor without spirit alternatives. So that was my first book that came out earlier this year in January. It's called the Mocktail Club. And then just last month, July, I came up with a recipe deck. So it's kind of like a younger brother of the book. It comes in a cute little box. It has 50 individual cards, basically 50 recipes with a picture of the finished drink on one side and then the recipe and instruction on the other side. There is some overlap. So there are my favorite recipes from the first book. You will see some of them here. But there's at least 20 new brand new recipes in the make it a mocktail recipe deck. And I played more with the regular ingredients. Like I used Earl Grey tea for a spicy Earl Garita. I used, like, barley tea to kind of mimic whiskey. So I had fun with that on the second one. So you can check out either the mocktail club or make it a mocktail recipe deck or both. They look good in a home bar. The mood is speakeasy and, like kind of art deco type vibe. So I hope you check those products out and you can reach out to me on my Instagram mocktailbiz for any questions.
[00:50:38] Speaker B: Awesome. And I'll link in the show notes, too. And you can go to mocktailwiz.com. and they're just like, good. They'd be good gift ideas, too. Giving yourself a gift, like a little sober treat, sober reward, or just being an ally and supporting your people because they are. It is like a lovely, cute box.
When I got it, I was like, oh, I love this.
[00:51:03] Speaker C: Yeah, it's a unique product. Yeah. I actually have a friend who had this idea that, how about you pick one card from the deck, buy the ingredients for that one card, put it in a gift basket with the deck, the card, and then the ingredients for that one recipe. And do that as a gift for your friends who are trying to, you know, trying to be alcohol free or doing dry July or sober October. So I'm like, I thought, that's a great idea. I'm going to steal that.
[00:51:34] Speaker B: I love that. I love that. I've been thinking, like, oh, I need to have a podcast on, like, how to be an alcohol free ally. You know, how to support other people in your life.
[00:51:47] Speaker C: Yeah. All right.
[00:51:48] Speaker B: Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate you sharing your story and what you do, and I'm so glad that we got to connect.
[00:51:56] Speaker C: Thank you so much for having me. It's great to meet you and I look forward to chatting with you more offline.
[00:52:03] Speaker B: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. Please share and review the show so you can help other people, too. I want you to know I'm always here for you. So please reach out and talk to.
[00:52:16] Speaker A: Me on instagram at alcoholtippingpoint and check.
[00:52:19] Speaker B: Out my website, alcoholtippingpoint.com, for free resources and help. No matter where you are on your.
[00:52:25] Speaker A: Drinking journey, I want to encourage you.
[00:52:27] Speaker B: To just keep practicing. Keep going. I promise you are not alone and you are worth it.
[00:52:34] Speaker A: Every day you practice not drinking is.
[00:52:36] Speaker B: A day you can learn from. I hope you can use these tips we talked about for the rest of your week. And until then, talk to you next time.
