[00:00:04] Welcome to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. I'm your host, Deb Maisner. I'm a registered nurse, health coach, and alcohol free badass. I have found that there's more than one way to address drinking. If you've ever asked yourself if drinking is taking more than it's giving, or if you've found that you're drinking more than usual, you may have reached your own alcohol tipping point. The alcohol tipping point is a podcast for you to find tips, tools, and thoughts to change your drinking. Whether whether you're ready to quit forever or a week, this is the place for you. You are not stuck, and you can change. Let's get started.
[00:00:44] Welcome back to this quit drinking quickie. It's been a minute since I've done one of these, but this topic came up in my alcoholiday and I thought, wow, that's such a good, such a common issue that people have, which is how to stop seeing drinking as a reward. I thought, well, I'm gonna do a quickie. I'm gonna do a quit drinking quickie about it. So what came up was someone wrote in our chat in alcoholiday, which, by the way, that's the monthly dry group that I run every month. If you want help practicing not drinking in a safe, supportive, non judgmental space, you can come join us for the next alcohol a day. It's every month, and it's just a way to get science and compassion based tools to help you practice not drinking. It is not about perfection. It is really just giving the space, giving you the tools, giving you the information and education to help you manage your cravings. Learn more about alcohol, learn more about why you're drinking, and just be in a group of people that are doing it together. So I will put the link in the show notes. As usual, you can also just go to alcoholtippingpoint.com alcoholiday to sign up as a podcast listener. You always get 20% off using the code love, love, and it's just a great resource for you. If you want to really get a little bit more serious about changing your drinking, about taking a break, about, you know, whether you want to drink less or your goal is to not drink at all, I wanted to provide a safe, supportive space for you to do that. It's private group. We have twice weekly group meetings and a chat, and you get daily content and lots of good stuff in there. So go check it out. All right, back to the question that came up. Someone shared that she's been struggling getting through the time when she gets home from work and seeing wine as a reward.
[00:03:04] This. Oh, my gosh, this is so normal.
[00:03:08] I totally saw wine as a treat. I saw it as a reward. I saw it as something that I earned and I deserved. Goddess, damn it, give me that wine. And I say that just to let you know, like, we've learned this, and it's actually worked pretty good for a while. Right? Wine, alcohol, whatever your choice of drink is, it works really well, because the way that alcohol works is it does relax us, does give us that hit of dopamine, that pleasure, and it's something that we've associated with coming home from work and having our glass of wine, having our beer, whatever that looks like. And really, we've been through a lot. By dinnertime, you know, our days are so busy, filled with work, with kids, with just having a lot of. Lot of shit going on throughout the day. Right? And so we're just looking for a way to get through the next few hours. And your body is actually looking for a dopamine hit. It's really looking for a way to feel good. It's looking for a way to feel relief. And alcohol helps us feel good temporarily. And I say it a lot, and it's just a reminder. Our brain is hardwired to move us towards pleasure and away from pain in the quickest way possible.
[00:04:37] And we have learned that alcohol works really well to do that. It works really well to move us towards pleasure and away pain in the quickest way possible.
[00:04:48] I want to give you a few strategies to break this alcohol reward cycle and kind of different ways of thinking about it. Let me walk you through some of those. Okay. So the first strategy is really being proactive and not to get to the point where we are so tapped out that we are so overwhelmed that we need that break, we need that pleasure. And I had a mindfulness teacher that talked about stress, the stress in our lives this way. Like, we are always going to have stress that's just normal. That's part of life. There's going to be traffic. You have a job, you have kids. There will always be stress. But think of that stress as being water, and water that's all around you. And sometimes our water level, our stress level is so high, we're up to our chin. And anytime a little wave comes around, a small wave, even that's going to take us out. That's really going to take us out. A lot of us are just treading water in our lives. In our day to day lives. We're just treading water so what are some ways to keep the water level low during the day? What are some ways that we can manage the stress around us, knowing we're not going to completely get rid of it, but where we don't have to fight so hard just for survival.
[00:06:19] And I think at the core is addressing our physical and mental needs first.
[00:06:27] And as a nurse, I always go to biology first, too. So, going back to basics, are you eating? Oftentimes we just have a dramatic blood sugar drop in the afternoon because we haven't been eating enough. We haven't been fueling ourselves throughout the day. And we get this blood sugar drop, and this blood sugar drop, this hangry feeling can also feel like a craving. And so making sure that you have breakfast, that you have lunch, that you have a snack in the afternoon, that you have some kind of protein to keep you full, that you're having something just to keep your body, your baseline blood sugar stable. Now, I know a lot of you, some of you are into intermittent fasting, and maybe you're not having breakfast and maybe you're having a little lunch, and then you're like, I'll just. I won't eat. I'll eat when I get home. Then you get home and you're just ravished, and then you end up binging. You know, I see the same kind of issue this witching hour in the late afternoon between work and before dinner. I see it with people who are struggling with food. I've had the struggles myself. And so if you can be really conscious about, okay, I'm, for the meantime, you know, while I'm trying to get control of my drinking and whether you're taking a break, you're drinking less or you're done, like, really making sure you are fueling your body, it is so, so important.
[00:08:04] Maybe down the line, when you are further away from alcohol, you have that more managed, then you can experiment with the intermittent fasting and your diet and whatnot. But for now, make sure you are eating. And honestly, in those first few days, weeks, go ahead, have that sugary treat. Have something to look forward to. Have a Snickers bar, whatever that looks like, just so that you're addressing that hunger and that blood sugar. But keep in mind, if you do want to choose something a little bit healthier, then you want to try for something with protein. So the other thing is making sure you're hydrated. Sometimes you are just dehydrated, and that will make you feel tired. You know, going back to that halt acronym is so helpful. So halt is this acronym where we ask ourselves when we notice we're having a craving.
[00:09:04] Am I hungry? That's the h. Am I feeling anxious or angry or any a word, a emotion?
[00:09:12] Am I feeling lonely?
[00:09:15] Am I feeling tired?
[00:09:17] And that tired, that fatigue, that can be related to being dehydrated. So making sure you dress the thirst first, having a big glass of water, that can help you throughout the day, that can help you in the afternoon when you're hitting the witching hour. But again, right now, we're kind of talking about, like, okay, how do we get to the point where we keep the stress level down? And another way is to make sure you're taking breaks throughout the day.
[00:09:43] Maybe you are going on a walk on your lunch break. Maybe you are just taking a moment to be mindful. Maybe you're doing deep breathing exercises for a minute. I mean, you can do that when you're in the bathroom. And I know a lot of nurses from the nursing world, and we kind of pride ourselves on not even going to the bathroom all day. So take a break, make sure you're taking a break, and make sure you're moving your body.
[00:10:12] That can help actually calm your nervous system. It can calm your amygdala. Your amygdala is responsible for the fear response, the fear and anxiety response. And so when you're walking and you're actually scanning the horizon, it's calming your amygdala. Because going back to our brains, we are hardwired to look out for things that are dangerous to us. And so when we are on a walk, even just ten minutes can have a really big result for relaxation, even if you're tired. You know, we can't always take a nap. I wish we could. You know, I love my naps, but we can't always do that. And then going way back to the beginning of your day, how are you starting your morning? I know oftentimes, especially kids back in school, like, mornings are just like, bam. Like, you're up, the alarms are going off, people are trying to get showered. We're trying to get all our stuff together. We're trying to get out the door, and it's just chaos. And we're just starting the morning in chaos. And then it keeps on going. And then sometimes your whole day is like that. It's just one thing to the next, to the next, to the next. And that is exhausting. So finding ways we can start our morning slow, finding ways we can slow down throughout the day is going to be so helpful. So that by the time we get home. We're not like, oh, my God, take me out. Just give me some wine. Give me some freaking wine, and I'm gonna sit on the couch for the rest of the night. Don't bother me, you know? Okay, so other strategies to break this alcohol reward cycle, keep the routine, but change the beverage. This is just going back to how our body works. And we get into routines, we get into autopilot. So for a lot of people, we're looking for a transition. We're looking for making a line between work and home. And this is so normal. And a lot of times I remember coming home, and I would just be on autopilot. I would come home, I would go to the fridge, I would get a beer, and when I was quitting drinking, I really got into Na beer. And so I would still. I would come home, I would go to the garage fridge, and I would get an na beer. And that was so helpful because I was still keeping the routine, and I was just changing the beverage, and it was enough for my brain to be like, oh, okay, we're home now. Now we can relax a little.
[00:12:51] And so keep that in mind. And also, I just think a perfect example of making that transition between work and home is good old mister Rogers. Remember, he would come home from his job wherever he worked. I don't even remember where he worked, but he would come home and he would change his shoes, he would take off his blazer, and he would put on a sweater. It's just so important to make this distinction between work and Home.
[00:13:22] It's what we need. We need these kind of Transitions. And so maybe for you, you can mister Rogers it take off your work clothes and put on your pajamas. If you're not going anywhere, just really make a distinction between work and home. Another thing you can do is because you are looking for a treat, right? We do need a reward. So have a sober treat you can look forward to at the end of the day.
[00:13:50] Have something sweet you can look forward to. Have a bath, have a new class that you're going to go to bed early, maybe have a new show you're looking forward to, maybe get yourself a new book, find something really juicy to read, and you can look forward to that. New pajamas, fresh sheets. You know, it's just so important to really make your time when we're quitting drinking or drinking less or not at all. Not about deprivation, not about what you're taking away. It's what you're gaining.
[00:14:25] And that kind of goes back to, is alcohol really rewarding?
[00:14:32] Is it a treat? Like, really kind of deconstruct that thought and play the tape forward? Because what happens after that first drink? And usually you want a second and a third or a fourth, right? That was how I was. One was never enough. Never. And I was always chasing that first drink, that first bit of relaxation, and it was never enough. So I would keep drinking to try to keep this feeling going. I wanted to keep chasing the feeling. And when you play the tape forward, it's like, ooh. But then what happens? Then you end up maybe even skipping dinner because you've drank and now you're not hungry anymore, but then you end up, like, binging at night, having just a crazy concoction at night. That's what I did.
[00:15:23] I would skip dinner, and then I would eat crap, total crap at night and overeat. It really affects your sleep. So how are you sleeping? Are you waking up in the middle of the night? When you wake up, do you have a headache? Are you hungover? Do you have anxiety? You know, really rethinking, like, gosh, is this a reward? Is this a treat? Cause it's making me feel like shit. This isn't feeling like a reward anymore.
[00:15:50] So then you ask yourself, well, what else is rewarding? What else do you need? Cause you do need a treat, a reward, something at the end of the day. And what can that be? What else do you need? And then maybe make a list. I have had one gal in one of our alcoholidays. She came up with a list of 50 different things she could do instead of having a drink and get creative with it. And a lot of people kind of think back to being a kid and what children like to do and what do your kids like to do? And maybe it's putting music on. Maybe that can be fun for you at night.
[00:16:32] The point is, like, really rethinking the drink, rethinking is it a reward? And then finding other ways to replace the drink.
[00:16:44] All right, well, I hope that you found this episode helpful. I would love to see you in the next alcoholiday to get some more tools, more practice not drinking. Remember, you can
[email protected] alcoholiday and use the code love, l o v e for 20% off. I hope you have a great day. I hope you have a great night. And just remember, you don't have to drink today. You don't have to. You are worth more, and you are enough, and you can do this.
[00:17:21] Talk to you next time.
[00:17:24] Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. Please share and review the show so you can help other people too. I want you to know I'm always here for you, so please reach out and talk to me on Instagram alcoholtippingpoint and check out my website, alcoholtippingpoint.com for free resources and help. No matter where you are on your drinking journey, I want to encourage you to just keep practicing. Keep going. I promise you are not alone and you are worth it. Every day you practice not drinking is a day you can learn from. I hope you can use these tips we talked about for the rest of your week, and until then, talk to you next time.
