HALT and Quit Drinking with Carlos Navarro

Pod 93 Carlos Navarro Deb: . Welcome back to the Alcohol Tipping Point Podcast. I am your host, Deb Masner. I'm a registered nurse, health coach and alcohol-free badass. That's what we're calling each other now, Carlos, for calling each other AF Buzz. But Carlos: All right. Deb: Hell you, yeah. Yeah, totally. Well, I'm excited to have Carlos Navarro on. He has been in the entertainment industry for 22 years. He's the co-host of the number one talk show in Orlando, Florida. It's called Monsters in the Morning, and he's also been in some scene stealing. In some of film and TV's biggest cultural phenomenon, including Bloodline, the Walking Dead, which is one of my favorite shows, and most recently Marvel's Hawkeye, but also Carlos has been broke. He's been jobless. Yep. Yep. He's had self-destructive behaviors. He's drank too much, party Carlos: too hard. You know, Deb: Uhhuh earned three mug. It landed in jail after an infamous onstage fight in 2006 with a former radio colleague. Oh my God, I'd have to hear about that, Carlos. But he turned it around in 2007. He's seven years sober now, and he's sharing what has worked for him on his mugshot to Marvel journey to recovery. So, thanks Carlos. I'm so Carlos: glad you're here. I am very glad to be here. And I gotta tell you, hearing all that stuff, even though it's in my bio at times, I'm like, oh damn. Yeah, I forgot I did all that, that crazy stuff. But it is it is very nice to be here, Deb, and thank you for having me on your lovely show. Deb: Thank you. So tell us a little bit about like who you are and what you do besides that. Cause I don't think I even read anything. I think I read, you even did some standup comedy. Yeah. Video games just, wow, that's very different. So I'm, I'm excited to hear about your life in this industry. Carlos: Yeah. You know, I've always just been a, a person, a kid who loved entertaining people, like making people laugh like at a very young age. I just knew that was gonna be something I did. I, I didn't know specific other than I love Steven Spielberg. I love movies. I love Robin Williams. And my mom was very supportive in, even though she had her own issues, but she was super supportive with me and just never, never ever said like, I couldn't do any of these things. Or, or thought, oh, that's ridiculous cuz you don't even speak English yet, Carlos, you're, you know, we're from, we're from Cuba and Peru. You're not going Hollywood. You know, so so that was just like, I think the driving force. That, that, that has allowed me to do all of these things. Cause I just kind of always wanted to do all these things. So I said yes and they led to, to bigger things, like very kind of the next thing after the next. Deb: Well that's interesting. So were you born outside of the states? Carlos: I was born in New York. My mom is from Cuba. Okay. My dad was from Peru, and they spoke Spanish. So I spoke Spanish growing up and it was the eighties, you know, very different time, you know and yeah, so. So we were first generation Americans and in kind of learning the way and, and had a great childhood. Rough stuff, bad stuff, but we all had that, but mostly had a, was in love with movies and started with radio at a very young age. But it wasn't like radio was like my very first thing, but the style of radio that I ended up doing lent itself to everything that I. Okay. Deb: Very cool. And so how did drinking come into your life? Carlos: Oh, first time I drank, well, drinking in my life, sadly, was through my mom. She was a pretty bad alcoholic and at a very young age, I was having to take care of her. And, you know, that's not to go too deep into that. She loved me. She was great. But it was the eighties and nineties. Alcoholism was like, shut up. Everybody's an alcoholic. Leave them alone. Mental health wasn't a thing. So she really was going through. At a really bad time and, and ended up passing away from it. So I was very early on kind of like into the alcohol world because I saw it. And then like most alcoholics who see their parents drink I drank super early, like 13 years old and and started getting drunk pretty much like that at then. Like literally like the person around was like, let's get drunk , and. And what led, I haven't actually thought about this in a long time. Dead, like the first time I drank and and I fought the first time I drank as my, fought my buddy the first time I drank. And that's what got me arrested all those other times, drinking. Deb: Wow. So you just went from like zero to a hundred? Carlos: Yeah, like my energy, you can tell my energy, like obviously I'm not drunk and and it's already a lot. And what I've realized is my. Is has always been the best thing for me, but it can super hurt me. And then when I drank, there was no gauge on it. It was just like this frenetic. Matt could be angry, it could be funny, it could be crazy, but it wasn't tamed. And and I have to do that like in everyday life. I know people are like, shouldn't you just be calm? It's like I got a lot of energy in me. I got a lot. And when I drink, That was just like time to go. Deb: Yeah. So you were still like working and, and being in the entertainment business and then like what happened? Like how did you end up giving up alcohol ? Carlos: Well, I hadn't had to because the court was gonna tell me basically, anyway, , Deb: so you're getting in Carlos: trouble? Oh yeah. With the law. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. First time I got in trouble drinking. Was when I was 15, I think, and it was for drinking and fighting and that was like skipping school. And I'm laughing about it now, but it was very traumatic at the time. And, and just for your listeners and your viewers and everything, like, I'm laughing about it, but it was, it was really serious at the time, but it's just been a long time. And then I got into trouble when I was like 19 out drinking, fighting. And then the big time was when I was much, when I. When I ended up kind of losing it all and fighting a colleague, a former colleague of mine who was a friend of mine in this whole disastrous night where I just really beat him up really bad and had to go to, had to, had to, basically, that's when I kinda lost everything. And so at that moment I was like, yeah, alcohol is not doing anything good for me. And then I had my wife, thankfully, who was like the only person who was there. And I just kinda like come to that realization, okay, I gotta stop drinking. And I stopped drinking for a long time, and that was in my early twenties. And that really helped and that got me on a good path and that was good. And I was in this whole consciousness and reawakening and it was good. And then just like most alcoholics, the first shot is not good enough. So the it, I was like, well, I was kind, I'm kind of, you know, my wife and I were talking and it was, time had passed. I never got in trouble. Everything's, you know, I could have a glass of wine, right? I could stick with wine. Right. As alcoholics we're good with just sticking with wine, right? Of course not, you know, started again, got back to the, basically the same point. And she was gonna leave me. It was like a classic, like, what are you doing with your life, Carlos? You're doing it again. And I quit and haven't had a drink since. It was the life or death situation, and I made a decision and never quit, haven't had a drink since. Deb: Mm. What was I, I feel like I have talked to a lot of people that have had years of sobriety and then they've just kind of gone back into it and then they've quit again. And so what, what was like the difference between quitting those two times and was there one that was harder than the other? Carlos: Well, I appreciate you asking that because there is something very definitive about it. So, especially when I was younger, in my twenties and when I quit, I knew I was young still, and I think that's what happens, at least how I was. And, and I was still, I, I had made the choice to quit drinking. The other choice was to slow down drinking and the other choice was like to drink on occasion, right? , but I chose to not drink when I was younger, but in the back of my mind, regardless of going through the hell I went through, it was like, well, you're kinda young still. You're in your twenties. And this wasn't like totally conscious. I'm just thinking about it as, as I've really thought about this. So I was giving myself a little out whether I maned it or not, and which eventually fed. Everything that happened. So then the second time I'm older, I got a kid. It was much more severe. And if you've, if I messed, I'd already built up a equity, if you will, to people and my listeners and my friends and my family of being like getting over alcohol. But then it was kinda like this weird thing. So my career was in this moment. So then it was like I made a decision to quit. When you make a decision, There are no choices. Mm. And then when I made that decision, it was like, that's it. I'm never gonna do it again. And I honestly really, other than moments where I'm triggered, which I'm sure you have as well it's definitely a. Like in my soul, like one of these decisions, , I'll lose everything. Deb: Yeah. And it's been seven years now. Is that right? Carlos: Yeah. I don't think about it, that I don't think about it. Like I'm not one of these people that clocks down the days. I respect people that do. It's just kind of not in my nature. I just try not to think about it as much and I, and I try not to put myself in situations where it makes me weak. Deb: Where it makes you weak? What do you mean by that? Yeah. Carlos: We make the worst decisions when we, what I like to call. I've, I've created this thing called what, when I, whenever I'm about to like lose it on somebody, or I'm sad and it's weak, hungry, angry or tired. If I'm any of the what, what, what, if any of these things, don't make the choice, don't make the, and I literally say choice. Cause you and And so I found, and it's actually as of late because my radio show, we do a segment called Beer the Week, because the other guys on the show they drink and I can't be the drinker as we know. Well, excuse me, I don't think we should all be drinking because I cannot handle my alcohol. Thank you. You know? So I just shut the hell up and they enjoy and they're cool and they don't bother, you know? But man, there was some times recently and actually that. It just like something like the smell hit me. Like, I love drinking, I love having my beer, I love the whiskey. And these are like the finest whiskeys in alcohol. Deb, the other day we had a $10,000 bottle of tequila and the guys were like, oh my God, this is the greatest. And I was like, I gotta get the hell outta here. So when I'm weak, because usually by that time of the show I haven't eaten. Yeah, I'm ready to go home. So that's what happens with us. At the end of the day, after work, we had a bad day at. The kids have been shitty to us. Excuse my French. I'm tired. You know, what does it really matter? You know what? I'm just gonna have a glass. Screw it because you're weak. It's how you go to bed. You wake up, you think you're gonna have that glass of wine. You're not gonna have a glass of wine. It's, it's, you have to gauge your energy. It's all about your energy. Don't make those choices, make 'em at the beginning of the day. That's when you got the power and the energy to make decisions, but too much. We try to figure out the world's problems at the end of the night are most tired in bed after this third Netflix? Deb: Oh my gosh. So the, what is kind of like your version of HALT of the HALT acronym? Have you heard that? No, Carlos: I haven't. I hope I'm never anybody off Deb: here . That's so amazing. You haven't heard. Well, it's, it's similar but yeah. So halt is, are you hungry, angry or anxious? Lonely or tired? Ooh, Carlos: I'd never heard of that one before. Wow. Okay. So, but nobody, so what is that in regards to, like, is that just like in general, like. Oh, I never. That's really cool. Like I never heard that before. I'm gonna use that one now too. . Deb: Well, nobody really says halt though. Carlos: Halts . Wait a second. Halt. Are you hungry? Angry. Anxious, lazy, tired, honest. Its like 72, 72 things. At the end, you're like, look man, I just wanted a drink, but I don't even need a nap. Okay. It was 72 things. Deb: I like it with the British accent though. Yeah. Carlos: Your whole tell you, do not drink in this pub. I tell you. Hold God. You totally good, sir. . Deb: Well, the And because your what is like what? What Carlos: exactly? It's like what you gonna drink? What you gonna tell that person off? What? You better not do that. Deb: So do you have any other acronyms you used? . Carlos: You know what them. I'm a, I guess I need more acronyms in my life. Let's see here. I actually do have some, oh, here. Got me now. You put me, really put me on the spot. But that was that What is like out close to me, because usually around like nine o'clock I get my energy. Is that, do you have kids? Oh yeah. Deb: How many kids? Teenagers now. Oh, 13 and 16. How old are yours? Carlos: 11. And. Oh my gosh. So my energy level, like I realize and I do a morning show, I get up early, my wife does her, she's also a creator and all this stuff. And, and so like I've realized with energy, with all these things that, man, when I used to go out and drink and it was late at night and I'm, I know, even though I was pushing through, I had to have been super tired already and then I'm drinking and then I, you know, you eat like shit. I, it was like a time bomb every time I went out. And because I notice it now, not drinking at my house nine o'clock, I'm like, I'm, I'm being like a grumpy ass right now. Like, what's going on? You know? So that's why I really take that into account because so many people always wanna figure out. Everything in their life at the worst time. They don't want to figure it out. Sunday morning, seven o'clock at the kitchen table with a notebook. That's what I preach. I'm like, you want to figure your life out? Do it Sunday morning. Go to the Starbucks. Sit down. Stop being a baby. Don't say, why me? Have you planned on anything? No. Well, then what the, if you don't change, how do you expect the things in your life to change, you know? Deb: Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Oh, easier said than. It is, it is. Well, I wanna hear more about what it's like being in the entertainment industry and like, what is the drinking culture around it and what, you know, being on a set and, you know, you've been in different environments. What is, what is that like? Carlos: It's ever present. It's ever present and, and I have been trained to get to this point, and I don't know if I hadn't done all of the things I had to do at a younger age to figure out how to work and live amongst drinkers. I would've never survived the premiere parties where you're, I'm walking into like top shelf whatever you want the stars, like how could you not drink champagne at the hundredth episode of Walking Dead when Andrew Lincoln is toasting to you? How can you not Come on man. It's ever present so you can't get away from it. The Obstacle is The Way is a great book and it talks about. How, whenever you think like, oh man, I don't drink anymore, but everybody drinks. How can I do this? Like, well, you gotta hit it head on. And where I always feared not drinking and being in those moments like I would think like, oh, but like the premiere, the Hawkeye premiere, the wa like, come on man, you're gonna be like da da da da. Like that's how I would picture myself. But man, you know what? I ended up being Deb. It's crazy. All of them know me. For being the dude that drinks non-alcoholic beer. All of them know me for being cool, chill, Carlos. I don't say like I'm the coolest guy in the world, but I'm not the asshole that I turned into when I would drink, and I would've been that asshole time and time again. And the universe was like, and like my wife told me a million times, she said, you're not gonna book the Walking Dead if you're drinking. What do you. You're gonna go to these parties and you're gonna be acting the way you act and you're gonna, and the second I quit drinking, boom, I booked the Walking Dead. And they just know me as Carlos doesn't drink, we walk well, I would go with my castmates. Think about this, I would go with my castmates to lend, yes, the culture, right? Of course, you can find people that will drink and party and do whatever the hell you want all night. But the people I chose to be with, these guys here, the My Bros and The Walking Dead, all these guys, they would walk out of a place that if it didn't have non-alcoholic beer, they'd be like, no, we're out here. Let's go. Wow. They took pride in it and man didn't really just warm my heart, you know, and I still to this day, really, really appreciate. So kind Deb: of wherever you go find your people. Carlos: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, be honest about it. You know, be honest about it if you can. I think early on when you're not drinking, don't tell a million people. But after you've said some time and you know, somebody asked you like, yeah, you know, I don't drink. And you know, like that way you, I think if you bring everybody in, of course not everybody, but if people you trust and they become a part of it, then they also take pride. Have you found that as well, Deb? Deb: Oh, I think that there is so much just we are, we're tribal animals, right? Absolutely. So finding people that get it is so helpful and there's just so much comfort and comradery and just being with other people that aren't drinking and get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ash buzz . Carlos: Yeah, exactly. , Deb: Well let me see. So you, it's been seven years you've been on some shows. Yes. Is, is acting your dream, like what, you've done a lot of different things, like what is your dream? Carlos: Yeah, it is. It's like my total dream. Like to be a part of these massive shows and be on set and play these crazy characters and have friends that I would've watch on TV shows. I didn't know, like obviously as a kid, I wasn't like one day I'll be on a streaming Disney plus show Haka, I Marvel universe, you know? But I always would watch Steven Spielberg. And just be like, and I was going through some shit as a kid, you know, like my mom was going through her stuff, my dad was working all the time, and so I escaped into these movie. And man, I'm pretty down, far the road and like really done some awesome things and every time I get on a set I'm like, I think a little ass Carlos. It was like one day I'll walk on a set with Steven Spielberg, like , like total, you know, delusions of grander and, and to, so, so yeah it is, especially cuz I had lost it all. I literally lost it all, Deb: you know? Yeah. So you have so much appreciation. Yeah. What do you know, being Hispanic and being a guy , what do you think are some challenges for asking for help or getting help? Have you noticed any cultural differences or, or anything as far as when it comes to drinking? Carlos: Oh yeah. I think sadly the Hispanic community in my estimation, and the people that I have seen are light years away from any true understanding of alcoholism. And I say that very bluntly. It is brushed to the side, the machismo through the roof, the egos through the roof. I would say it's probably where white Americans. Or just, I would say probably regular, like fully Americans living here for year after year. So that could be white, black, whatever. But the, the Hispanic culture and mentality is very similar to a lot of other countries. There's not alcoholics in those other countries. Deb, how many alcoholics are there in Ireland? There's a bunch. But do you think they call themselves alcoholics? So it's really, it's not even. I don't think I had one Hispanic person come up to me and say, Hey, yeah, I think you should quit drinking. Do Deb: you think it's a sign of not showing weakness? Is it, is it part of the religion, part of the culture where it's we need to pray in a way what. Carlos: I think that's a good question in the sense of like, if I was super Catholic or if I was super religious or even the people that were around and I did grow up kind of Catholic, but, or definitely Catholic. No, I think, I definitely think it's a macho thing. It's part of us, man. Like I have that in me. I wasn't like wanting to quit drinking at first, like up until my thirties. Like even when I quit, I still had this, I had the better way. But I think guys in general don't ask for any help. Mm-hmm. , I, I, I do this for a living. Like, I literally help people and I have problems calling a friend for help. Think about that. Like, I do this for a living and, and, and it's not like I go through a, a lot of pain, a struggle and this and that as much as anybody else, you know? But like the other day I called up my best friend Ziggy, and I just had to talk to him like, and I'm so glad I. Because man, did I feel better and I was, I was going through some stuff, you know, and, and actually because of questions like this and shows like this, they were talking about like, you know, guys are like, who do you talk to when you are down? And they're like, nobody, nobody. It was like clip after clip. And I, like, I felt that, and I'm a guy who's very open and I talked to my wife about everything. Like, I'm not including my wife in this, right? Like, I'm talking like my wife. I we're best friends. I'm talking about like, If you just like wanted to talk about something you know, in your soul and or if you're going through something, so you'll always feel better when you do ask. I know. Deb: Yeah, I've seen a meme that says, like, the three hardest things to say are, I have a problem. I need help. And Bo Sauce, . Carlos: And it's hard for me to say, I'm sorry. To be honest, I'm a big Chicago fan, so you know, boo Deb: in the bar, boom. I don't get. You're not a Chicago, is that a Chicago Carlos: song? Yes. You haven't heard Saturday in the park, Deb? My God, no. I have, but how is that ? I just jumped into that. There was no connection to it. I just wanted to sing it. Deb: I just love that song. You, so what is weird about that is you remind me of my brother-in-law and he's from Chicago. Oh Carlos: really? Hey, what's his name? Ryan. Ryan. Hey, wait, that, what's going on with the bears? What's going on with the Deb: bears? They're freaking sucking Stop bears. He's more into hockey. Black hole. Oh, nice. . Carlos: Nice black box. Stable. Deb: Well then what would you say to someone who is listening and they wanna quit? , Carlos: I would ask them if they know why. Mm-hmm. , you gotta have a really, really good why? Because if you don't, you won't. Like your reason for, for not drinking has to be paramount. I, I've talked to people who have ruined their lives drinking. And then I talked to people who literally just want to improve their life because they feel they have two, they have two drinks a day and they just want to get, you know, like these two extremes, right? So if you can honestly look, and they're, and like I would look at one and be like, man, you don't even have a problem. And then this one I'm like, how could you possibly be living like this? And I was somewhere in the middle. So if you are thinking about quitting drinking, Then that is the first sign that you probably need to quit drinking People who don't need to quit drinking, they usually don't have those like, you know, I think I should quit drinking because they'll have a drink one month and then the next week like, oh, I do drinks and that was too much. And, and they have that in them. But if you are thinking about quitting drinking, then you probably should quit. What are Deb: your whys? Carlos: Life, my wife, my kids. I would lose everything. And so it's so deep and it's like at this point, man, if I drank with as much as I've talked and with as much as I've shared and, and, and invested, but would I be letting a lot of people. A lot of people whether I didn't ask for this and I actually didn't realize this, Deb, I didn't think I'd be on this podcast. I never, once I started kind of going out and talking on more shows and stuff like that I wasn't like, Hey, alcohol's my thing and I'm gonna, you know, we're gonna talk. It was, it just kept popping up every day. Hey man, how'd you quit drinking? Cause I've shared this story for years. So people have literally followed my entire journey since I was 17 years. It's crazy death. And so a lot of people have invested in me and I know I've messed up before and I know I've let people down and I know I'll probably let some people down in the future, but it would be heartbreaking if I went back to drinking it. It would be like, I Ima, and I know that sounds like almost egotistical, but it's not. It's truly in the sense of like, I've connected with so many people about this that it, it was like, it would break their heart. It would break my heart. Like I'm tearing up thinking about like them hearing about like, Carlos got drunk and dude like, oh my God, no. Deb: Well, I, I can kinda get that because, so cuz you're a public persona and you've been on the radio for years and you're on your morning show, it's five hours a day. Yeah. Carlos: Five hours a day. . That's insane. It's all talk. Deb: And it's, oh, so, but you've had people who have been listening to you in their houses, in their cars for years. And so they feel like they know you and they've connected to you and your story. So you were very public the that first go around. It sounds like you were publicly like, I don't drink, and then you started drinking Carlos: and you, you know, I actually. Yeah, yeah. The first go around I was kind of like figuring it out, and then I got fired from the radio station because I was in this lawsuit. I wanted to act. They were like, you're not gonna be an actor. So they fired me. Like they straight up were like, radio's the only thing you're gonna do, like an old time movie. Like, get outta here kid. Radio's the only thing you're gonna do. And they, they, they kicked me out, right. And so I left, got fired. When did it started acting. Started doing my thing in the midst of. I kind of had, that's when I started drinking. Then I was asked back on the show. So when I got back on the show it was years later. And so it was like a new audience and I was kind of, and that's when I actually started really heavily personal development motivational kind of speaking within my show. Cause I was like, you know what? I got this new shot at it to the time, never stopped. Let's do this. And so I really started focusing on that and I was still drinking. But it hadn't that at all got to a point. It was still like in this la la land of like, well, look at that. Look at this alcoholic. He figured it out and went his thirties and he can drink normal. And he never, no, of course I was still messing up and I was still doing stupid shit, but I hadn't gotten to that point. And then I did, and I quit and I didn't tell anybody for a while. Because that's actually my number. What my number one, don't tell a million people. If you want to quit drinking, tell one person you trust, and this is my personal thing, do do it however you want. I would hate for anybody. Everybody's got their own way. But what I did was I didn't tell a bunch of people because I was literally having to be in a bar all the time with my show. We have promotions. Hey, it's, it's a liquor event and I can't, I, I literally have been wearing a liquor shirt. So what I would do is I would fake, like I had a. And I wouldn't tell anybody. And I found that once you told people and they thought you were drinking, they didn't give a shit. But the second you told somebody, I'm not drinking, ah, shut up man. Come on, come have a drink. So those are, I have a lot of tactics that I did to keep my party, job life and not drink. Deb: Wow. That sounds especially challenging having a job where you're at a bar where you're promoting alcohol or you're pretending to drink Carlos: I know. Yeah. I don't luckily have to do that now. Luckily, the point of my career now is I basically do TV shows. I do my radio show. I don't do any, I'm at a point where I don't really have to do bar promotion. I, you know, I. The only thing I mean, but I'm, I'm very com like my wife drinks. I love the fact that my wife drinks hell. Every husband likes the fact that his wife can have a drink from time to time. That's fine. I would hate to, my problem have to be, well honey, now you can't drink. That's not fair. So I'll make my wife a drink. We go out, I have no problems, you know? It just hits me in different times where I'm like, I gotta get out of the room. Deb: Yeah. You, you shared some tactics. So one would be just removing yourself. One is pretending to drink. Yeah. Like, nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Tell a trusted person. You don't have to tell everybody. I think a lot of people are afraid of failing. Mm-hmm. , you know? Mm-hmm. and so they, they don't want to share, but I mean, they really need to tell at least one person. You do need to talk about it, Carlos: account. Deb: Accountability. Yeah. Yeah. What are some other Carlos: tactics? You know, I would, like I said, wait for that Facebook post. We all wanna do that Facebook post, right? Of like, and I, and I talk to my, my, I call my teammates, I personal coach, but I'm also learning. So I call my teammates and one's quitting alcohol. And it's like, I know this week has been amazing because you haven't drank and the world is in different colors and you wanna tell everybody that, you know what, drinking's a poison and the world should know it. You know, , like the first week that everybody doesn't drink, it's like, I'm stronger than. And alcohol is, is disgusting. And you know, like, and it's like, shut up. Nobody wants to hear it. So I literally tell 'em, shut up. Nobody wants to hear it. Put the work in. Make it a month, make it two months. Build every day. And here's a big one. If you drink at the house, your number one goal is to rearrange your f. Your second goal is take those glasses that you like to make your little, your, your, what is it? The Moscow Mule. And, yay. Look at that when they got the margarita little glasses. Mommy, let's make the margarita, break them, throw them in the trash. Go to Ross. Buy a set of 1299 glasses. Fill it that you have to change your mind in, in environments. And then your brain will go, oh, this is different. This is different. But if you leave everything in the house the same, you're gonna drink. Deb: I love to refr the furniture. That's awesome. Okay. Carlos: Oh yeah. I've talked to people before, Deb, that they were drink in the garage and he would just go and drink in the garage and he had a little fridge there and he and I said, and I said, take that fuck. Excuse me. Take that fridge, can be a fun first, and go in the garbage now. Give it to me and I'll take it right now and throw it in the garbage. He said, are you sure? Said, how old is that? Two. I said, take that fridge. That fridge is a beacon of your alcoholism. That fridge, our brain thinks the 90% of the thoughts we thought yesterday. Our brain thinks today our brain, just the same patterns. So if you replicate it, you're gonna fall prey to the same thing. But if you totally shake it up, your brain goes, oh, this is different. This is, this is different. Deb: Hmm, that's a good one. What if you do, you're like most people, if they're drinking and they're changing their drink, their main place where they're drinking is their house. You're right. But what about, you know, What are some other tips for like, environment? Just those tangible tips. I like those tangible tips. Absolutely. Carlos: I'm, I'm about that. Like I believe in, I believe in, you know, aa, I believe in 12 seven. I like, I feel like there's a part of everything that you can kind of bring in, but here's another important one. The reason you're drinking. Is deep rooted. Right? And I always think about drinking like a, like a, like a big old carrot. I don't know why I always think of carrot, right? And it goes deep. And you, and, and like it's the, the, and you, you pull it out. It's still long. You got it. Boom. It's deep rooted. Why were you drinking? You know, and I'll, I'll say an example that I've seen. I'm drinking because like, God damn man, I love playing guitar as a kid and I was in the band and yeah, I love selling insurance and I got my own broker. It's great. It's a great business, but I haven't played guitar and every night I get home and I'm just like, shit, man. I could have, I could. And it's in the back of my mind. Okay, great. You're done drinking. The time that you spent drinking now is opened up. Let's take the first step today. The first step is when's the last time you played the. Shit, man. I haven't played the guitar in about a year. All right, bring the guitar out. All right. Today we're gonna on our, on our notebook because now we need something. You can't quit drinking. I'll tell you, I could go on and on, Deb. These are actually, I'm so glad you're asking these cuz this is exactly how I help people with drinking. You need a notebook. If you're about to quit drinking, you need a notebook. And I tell you why. The brain loves achievements and especially if you're taking something. . You want to have a notebook that you will write all anything down, make coffee today, went to the bathroom twice, talked to Deb, you check it off, the brain loves it, boo boo boo. And day two, no drinking. Boom. And the next day you got that day three. And it becomes a real thing and it becomes practical. And I think if, if you don't have a plan, you don't have these practical things. And you don't replace it with something. And that's what like kinda the hole behind it is like, trust me, you haven't been playing guitar because you've been drunk and you wanna go out and you wanna hang out and you think that's fun. Pick up the guitar today and play for five minutes and watch how you play for an hour. And you won't even think about drinking. And you'll go to bed. And now the next day on your notebook you say, okay, I'm gonna play for another five minutes. You're not gonna play for 10 minutes. You're gonna play for. And you create this consistent replacement of what was probably something, the reason you were drinking anyway, Deb: like the replacement. I, I find that a lot of people are drinking because they're anxious or stressed. Yes. What do you tell those people? I Carlos: tell people that it's funny. There is. Test in the world. No medical test that can say 100%. This is anxiety zero. It's what you place on it. Excitement and anxiety have all of the same exact effects. Here blood is pumping. You know, day two Christmases, tomorrow I'm excited. Nobody ever says I'm anxious about Christmas. Right? But you feel the same exact way. So the first thing I would say is, what are you telling yourself? Are you saying, I'm anxious about this out loud. Okay, well that's 70% more chance than it's gonna happen. How about you change that and go, I'm excited about this happening. That's one way. The second is this very simple. Anxiousness is the fear of the future, and depression is the fear or guilt of the past. So when you have anxiety, it's usually there's, there's some information that you're not sure of that is making you worry. And that's why I go back to the notebook because the brain's going, I'm anxious about school tomorrow. Well, why are you anxious about school? We'll write it down. Well, it's a test. That's what I would tell my daughter. Okay, well it's a test. Why are you anxious about the test? I don't really know it that well. Oh, you're not doing it though. Well, maybe you should study. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's good. And now it's not this. Now it's a problem you figured out. It's very practical. You gotta be practical about it, Deb. You know the mind is a messy office desk and it has all these things, and without some structure, you can live your haphazardly, live your life into health. Deb: Yeah, those are good ones. And I do think that that writing it down, having a list that's so funny. I have like lists and checkoffs everywhere and I do like, I'm like, what do I have to do today? I have like, Prep for Carlos , and then I write it down and then I write Carlos: it down. Like, and, and that's why you have this podcast and that's why you've been successful and that's why you're a successful mother and that's why you, you see what I'm saying? Like that's not a coincidence. The smartest, the best innovators, the best a inventors all write things down. Imagine this, that people, and people are shocked when I introduce this to their lives. I go, well, first thing you can do, write. Why would I write something down? They like, they can't even begin to understand why you would write anything going on in your life. And then I say this, Deb, I say, imagine Deb, you are on trial. Holy crap, I'm for murder. Well, my God, what did Deb do? She got drunk again. She went crazy. Okay. And they, and you're sitting there with the best lawyer in the world. And he goes, or she goes, right, tell me about it. And you tell him all this thing. And he's sitting there, he's like, Uhhuh. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . And you're. Are you gonna write any of this down? He's like, no, no, no, no. It's all up here. And you're like, no, no, no. You're defending my life and you're not gonna write anything down. And you're like, no, it's all up here. Well, guess what? Your life, you're the only one in charge of it, . Nobody else cares about it. And if you aren't writing things down, what is not managed cannot be. So, how the hell do you think you're gonna get better if you don't even know what the hell's going? Deb: Well, I like how you talk about this cuz sometimes journaling, if you say journaling, that becomes daunting and that feels like a lot. Absolutely. This, I'm more like I, I write a list every day or something to do and that's. Different than journaling, but you, like you said, it still has that same effect. I, and I've heard that you know, getting things out of our head and onto our paper is, is so effective. I mean, it, it'd be like, unless you're a rain man, Trying to solve a math problem in your head is difficult. You gotta get it out and write it down, right? And so maybe for you, it's not journaling about your feelings. Maybe it's, here's what I'm doing today, here's how I'm planning, here's what I'm gonna do tonight, you know? Oh, being at four o'clock . Oh. Carlos: No drink. There's a, and there's a great book called Mind Hacker and it talks about how our brain just loves to see things that we did and achieved it. It shoots off that serotonin boo every time you check something off. But if you tell 'em no, you have to journal. Oh, that's a different thing that your brain goes, it's so I different. No. Or wrong way, you are cataloging your life. If you wanna write, I, you know, I made pasta today. And you wanna write a random, there's no right or wrong way, but you need the structure. To really get to the next level. No doubt about it. Deb: Hmm. Love it. Love it. When you were talking about the judge , not writing things down, but that example I was actually going into my head, when you have like a waiter and there's 12 people at the table and they're not writing down your order Carlos: and they think you like that, they think, you're like, look at that. They didn't even write it down. You're like, man, they're gonna forget my sweet potato. They're gonna, he's gonna forget him. I'm gonna get onion rings, . I know. You get 'em. You're like, look, Hey, hey Mr. Magician. Mine, mine guy. You effed it all up. Okay. I didn't even order a Buffalo Bites. I ordered a buffalo sandwich, Deb: and that's why you write it down. Carlos: Thank you, Deb. That's what we're learning here. Deb: What else do you have to share? . Carlos: I like that you're just like, you know what? Tell me what you got, Carlos. Yeah. You know what I wanna share? I think we don't appreciate stuff enough, like the simple things. Mm. Like I feel like we don't appreciate getting home from work. Like, do you know how many things have to go right for your ass to get home from work? Okay. You don't think about it until you get the flat tire. You don't think about it until somebody rear ends. You, you don't think about it until the car turns and it doesn't go on. Then it's all But every day when it does work and you get home, why don't you, why don't we throw a little party? You know? Like, like, and I, and I've obviously, I don't do that a lot either, but I definitely, when I get home, I travel a lot with, with the stuff that I do. I drive a. And I gotta drive to Georgia and I'll drive to all these places and I'll get home and I'll just like, I'll take a second, I'll look at my kids, I'll look at my house and I'll be like, man, man. And I know it seems like, but it's just like you appreciate it because man, so many people just like get home and they get a call and their loved one didn't make it home. So many people get home and like they're entire, you know, like, I think if we just took a little bit more time to appreciate the things that you know, just we take for granted think you feel better, you. Oh, Deb: it's so true that gratitude, I mean, we're recording this right now. It's a week until Thanksgiving, and so that's been on my mind. Just this practice of appreciation and gratitude and like you said, for the little things that we take for granted, we really do until they're gone or something changes. Carlos: That's it, right? Like when you get sick, you have to be in the hospital, you're laying in the bed, all you, ah, man, I just wish I had my. I just wish I had my own. You know, when you, when you, when you, you know, there's so many people that are living in despair in the roughest of situations and you meet them and they give you the shirt off their back and we bitch about the person misspelling our name on the Starbucks cup. Why would you write two R's on Carlos? I'm one Carlos. One are Carlos. Thank you. You know, like. We, we, we gotta check ourselves a lot. I'm glad I got my wife. She checks my ass all the time. I don't, oh my God. If I didn't have her, I'd be a maniac. . I'm Deb: glad you have her too. . Carlos: Yeah. Yeah. I always say that. I'm like, if it wasn't for Megan Navarro, who the hell knows where Carlos Navarro would be? Deb: Well, I'm, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're out there helping people. So tell me, How you help people? Cause you don't, you're not just do, you're doing some coaching, right? You have a online program. Tell me about that. Carlos: You know how I'm helping people is three different ways. Number one, like what we talked about, which is the passion project, which is, I feel like everybody has a passion in them, especially if it's been calling to 'em. And they usually have a bunch of, and this is generally speaking, I'm not talking about chemical imbalances. Those are their own things. Doctors and therapists can, can absolutely have their way, but I think a lot of people are really upset because they're kind of not fulfilling at least a little bit of their passion. I'm lucky, I'm fully living my passion, but I didn't get there like easily. I had to go through all this RGA around. I still have to figure out ways and so I have a like, just like we talked about with drinking, like tactical real plan. On how to do that with your, like, if you really want to have a calling like that and not lose your nine to five, you know, not give up the real estate gig because you're like, man, I love my real estate gig, but I would kinda like to act, I know a way of helping you get there. And that just like, so that's one mindset is another one. About, you know, focusing on what you're saying and what you're thinking. The limiting beliefs. And in order to take another level up of your professional and of your personal life. And then drinking obviously is is one that I really help people with a lot and it, and. And then family stuff. Like, I'm very proud family man. I mean, that's the thing I'm most proud of. A softball coach. Been 15 years. I'll be married this December 1st. She's my six wife, but hey, it's gonna figure out what's soon enough. And I'm just kidding. She's my first Deb: one. . I hope she's not listening. Oh, them, I think she's heard this before. I feel. Okay. Carlos: There is nothing I, I've been, my wife has heard me on the radio for five hours a day over 15 years. Okay. There's nothing I can say to shock this woman. There's nothing so, like, this wouldn't even blip on her radar in the sense of dis or anything like that. But, but yeah. Yeah. So I love it though, Deb. I love, I do one-on-one coaching. I do motivational speaking. I do courses, and this is something I. Had always done. And then I honestly got with a management group that was like, Hey man, you should actually really be doing this. And and they've really helped me out a lot because it's just a lot of stuff that I've done that I didn't realize could help other people. And they helped me kind of figure out a way of doing that. So here we are. That's why even how I'm here like talking to you, I would've never, this would've never happened before if I didn't take my notebook, talk to the right people, write it down, get excited about it, and you know, it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work to get to a point like where we're at right now, you know? Deb: Well, I'll put some links where we can find you. And then where can we see you? What, do you have any acting projects coming up right Carlos: now? Yes, I do, but I can't talk about 'em. , you know, I, fortunately the acting game is something. I think Debbie will see me when I'm an 80 year old, you know, gang experience, like movie like. Like I'll be like a big bean bag, like good. And you'll be like, that's Carlos. You know? So that is the long haul. So it always is like, you'll see me pop up and like, oh, you're on this show. No. Cool. But it's like super hard. It's not easy. Acting is not easy. Like, I love it and there's no plan B for me, but like most people get in acting and they're like, Hmm, I'll do this for like eight months and then I'll do something else. It's like, well, you're gonna fail because it's like a long road. So, but I love it and it's fun. And then my radio show is doing great. I love it. I'm able to do it from anywhere in the world. I'm literally doing it from my house right now, and they've been great. And then personal. That's where it's at. Jay, I just say that just cuz I wanna sound cool. That's where it's at. Jay, Deb: will you do the hot thing again? Carlos: Hot. Please check your tummy, see if you've had any biscuits to see if you are going to proceed with this decision. Deb: I'm never gonna think of it the same way again. I like it. It's a tool, y'all. It's a tool. I'm Carlos: gonna use hop, I'm gonna Deb: use it. Ah, well good. I, it's just been a pleasure. I'm glad that we got to connect and thank you for all you're doing for helping people out there. Thank you for everything. Carlos: Oh, you're awesome. Do. This was a lot of fun and I look forward to, you know what? I can't remember the last time I made it out your way, if not ever, but if I'm ever in your part of the state. Okay. We're not gonna, we'll have non-alcoholic beers together, okay? How about that? Deb: Yes, we will. Yes, we will. I will buy you. I will buy you an A beer. We would go. Carlos: Halt. Is that in an A beer or is it a true alcoholic beer? You look sleepy, Deb. Deb: Don't you need a Carlos: nap? You need a little naughty nap. You cheeky monkey. Deb: Oh, that's good. It's good. Okay. I love it. Well, thank you Carlos. Thank Deb. I hope that you have a wonderful holiday season with your family and I'm gonna be looking out for you. Carlos: I'm watching you too. I'm a . Deb: Okay, well thank you. Have a good night. You too. See ya. Bye-Bye. Bye.