Finding Freedom from Alcohol with Molly Desch

Pod 79 Molly Desch Deb: Welcome back to the alcohol tipping point podcast. I am your host Deb Masner. I'm a registered nurse health coach and alcohol free badass. And today on the show, I have Molly dash. She has a degree in psychology. She is a certified coach and she has years of experience. Dealing with alcohol. She has her own business as you are life coaching. And she helps people shift from, I can't do this to, I fucking got this and she helps people experience the freedom of life without alcohol. So welcome Molly to the show. Molly: Thank you so much, Deb. I'm so happy to be here. Deb: I'm glad you're here too. So tell us about who you are and what you. Molly: Sure. I am a single mom in Kansas city, Missouri. I have two boys, 12 and 16. They have endured my alcoholism for many years, but now they are definitely loving the sober mom. So I've started I quit my job not too long ago. I, it was just not fulfilling me. I, I worked in the tech industry and I, I knew that I wanted to help other women with alcohol. I struggled during my second year of sobriety, I relapsed three times and I just knew that there's other women out there that are struggling to, I give props to any women or any person that can quit and just never relax. Like I am. Blown outta my mind. But I struggled and I relapsed and that's what taught me that, you know, I need to, I need to get my shit together and I need to figure out. How I'm gonna do this and how I'm going to control these urges. So that's really what my business is surrounded by. Getting people prepared, getting their mindset. Right. And I just love it. I love being able to, you know, Share my, my experience with other people and help them realize that this is not easy. And sometimes you gotta train for it kind of like a marathon. You don't just sign up and go out there and try to run 26 miles. I mean, it's, it's hard. So yeah, that's what I'm doing right now. Helping women. You know, figure out how they're gonna quit and getting them to that point, setting a quit date and watching them just thrive through it. So super exciting. Oh, Deb: that's great. Well, can you share your experience with drinking and, and your like recovery journey? Molly: Yeah. So I actually started drinking in high school. I. I had some trauma early in my life. And so alcohol was my way to, you know, block that out and numb it. When you're in high school, obviously you can't drink every day. so really the starting the, the real problem set in later in life after I had my first son obviously I stayed sober throughout my pregnancy and did really good for that first year. And then. Things just kind of started to go downhill. I feel like as a new mom, you, you kind of lose your identity in yourself. And it was, it was just hard for me. And I just knew that alcohol was the way that I was gonna handle that. So I was drinking pretty heavily in the evenings. I had a good job and was able to, you know, provide and then I got married and my husband at the time was also a big drinker. So that made things fun. I had no accountability, nobody to say, Hey, maybe you're drinking a little too much there. So we were married for 10 years. After we got divorced, I. Kind of just lost my shit. I, I was like, oh my gosh, what am I gonna do? So there was a lot of drinking that summer after I got divorced dating apps, I was like, I don't even know this dating thing. I don't know what to do. So I was very naive and didn't realize that people were using dating apps for. Reasons other than dating, if you get my drift . But that summer was, it was bad. So I'm, I'm divorced, like I said, so my, my youngest would go to his dad's on the weekends and I kind of just let loose on the weekends when he was gone and I was finding myself doing things that. I just as a mom and as a, an adult, a responsible person just doesn't see themselves doing going to bars, finding myself in that with strange men. And I just, I just felt like I was just going further and further down into this really dark place. And. it was one day. It had been pretty much an entire weekend of drinking and I found myself driving to a secluded overpass by myself. So I'm sitting under this bridge by myself, just feeling awful. Just wanting to end my life. And my, my phone rings and it's my son, my oldest son. And I'm super drunk. Just crying. Just I'm such a bad mom. I'm so sorry. And he was, he started crying too. And was just, I love you, mom. Please come home. Come see me. And I just knew, okay, I have to do this for my kids. You know, they need me, they have nobody else. So that day I went back home and I called my mom. My mom lives in Arizona and I said, you need to get on a plane and you need to get here as soon as you possibly can. I need help. I need to quit drinking and I don't know how to do it. So a, a day or so later, she got on the plane and came and stayed with me for two weeks while I got sober. And of course the only thing I knew to get sober was rehab or AA. I did, while she was here the first day she was here, I went and checked out an outpatient rehab facility. and I met with the counselor and she kind of walked me through the whole program and she said, okay, let's let me kind of give you a tour and show you, you know, where your classes will be and where maybe you can meet some of the other women. Excuse me. And so I remember walking, it was kind of like an old school. So there was a big gymnasium off to the side. You could hear people playing. There was a lot of echo. And then off to the side, there was kind of like a cafeteria and there was a bunch of women sitting in there. And I remember looking in there and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but. They were, they looked like homeless prostitutes, and these were the women that I was gonna be in rehab with. And I was just, I got so scared. I was like, oh my gosh, that's not me. Is it like, I don't have anything in common with these women. What am I gonna do? Like, I was just so scared and I was just like, thank you when I left. And I got in my car and I just remember thinking to myself, like, I don't know how you're gonna do this. If you can't, you know, buck up and go to rehab, like, what are you gonna do? So I went back home and my mom was talking to me about AA. And she said, you just, you just have to find somewhere. You've gotta find a group. You've gotta find a meeting. You need to go. So I found one that wasn't too far away from my house and I went and it was a, it was a welcoming group. It. I don't even remember what kind of building it was. It wasn't a church. But it was the stereotypical ice cold folding chairs in a circle. And then they had kind of like these little classrooms off to the side that they would like split up into smaller groups and talk. and I was so nervous. But like I said, everybody was very welcoming. I had women come up to me and say, you know, I'm so glad you're here. Blah, blah, blah. So that really helped me. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. I had somewhere to go and I had people to hold me accountable. So I continued with AA for about three months. I met some. I met some other women that were my age that I had a little bit in common with. But I didn't feel like they were like my tribe, you know? We'd gone out to dinner a few times, but I don't know. I just, the, the philosophy of AA, the the religious aspect of it. The, if you don't do exactly what we say, then you will fall flat on your face. Like all of that just really turned me off and. So I just kind of quit going. I found some, some books the, the top books that everybody reads when they quit drinking, you know, the unexpected joy of being sober and this naked mind, you know, all of those amazing books. And I felt like, yes, I got this, I got this I for the 365 days, not a single drop of alcohol. Mind you that. Four months after I quit, COVID hit. So it couldn't even go anywhere, you know, so that, I don't know if it made it easier or what I feel like it made it easier. But if you look at the statistics, the sales of alcohol from 2018 to 2019 is just like insane. Right. In 2020. And I think it's finally started to level out a little bit, but. I mean, I had a, I had my kids. My mom was always checking up on me and like I said, the, the forcefulness of having to stay home, I feel like really helped me. And then during my second year, Me and my partner went on a little mini vacation to Eureka Springs, Arkansas. I just heard great things about it and how pretty it was and how much fun it was. And it's basically a, a, a little town in kind of like an Ozark setting. Lots of trees, lots of Hills winding roads and bikers, tons and tons of bikers. so we go, we rented this cute little place and a couple days into our trip. We, we go to this barbecue restaurant and we're sitting outside on the porch and it's so nice out. And I'm just like a beer sounds so good. I'm like eyeballing the, the beer menu. They've got like tons of IPAs on tap, which is just like IPA was, was my love. And the waitress comes and. I said, I'll take an IPA. And my partner just kind of looks at me like, are you serious right now? You know? And I'm like, yeah, it's fine. I could have one. So of course I had two. And then I went back to the same restaurant the next day and I had two more. And, but that was it. And I, you know, I didn't feel remorseful. I thought, you know, I think I could actually just have a couple beers once in a while. This is perfectly fine. And then I went about five months without not having any alcohol, cuz I just didn't need it and I didn't wanna drink at home. And so later on in the year I was switching jobs and I had been at this company for 10 years and one of my friends wanted to have a happy hour going away for me. and I was, I was kind of like torn between, okay, you have to show up because it's your going away happy hour. Right. But then I was like, but I'm sober. Why am I gonna go to a happy hour? So I ended up going and I had way too much to drink, like to the point where I probably said and did things that. Shouldn't have been said or done, you know, it was just not good. And the next I remember waking up the next day, just the worst hangover ever. I mean, when you go so long without drinking, you can't drink that much, but boy, I was putting them down. Like I'd been drinking for years. So so of course I felt like shit, the next day, you know, you just, you wanna curl up in a ball and die, and you're just so mad at yourself. And so disappointed. And you know, my oldest son was home when I got home that night and he knew that I was drunk and just the shame. Embarrassment. It was, it was so overpowering and I realized, all right, this is there's something else that I need to keep myself sober. So over the next few months, I. I reevaluated my life. I reevaluated who is Molly? I started asking myself a lot of questions. What do you like to do? What do you, what are your goals in life? You know, you've kind of figured out what it takes to, to get sober, but what about staying sober? What's gonna fulfill you. What's going to make you happy. So you Don. Think that alcohol is going to, you know, solve any problems for you. So I went through tons and tons of self-help books. You know, Brene brown is one of my favorite authors and her book on vulnerability. She talks a ton about shame and I, I realized I have a lot of shame in my life. I, and I think that is what. Is causing me to keep going back to alcohol. So I did a lot of self work. I developed a ton of new habits. I was building a new mindset. I was building my toolbox and I was setting boundaries. I had no boundaries with my family. The, the summer that. Well, I'll take it back a little bit. So the last time I relapsed a month before that was my 40th birthday and it was a surprise birthday party that my partner had put together for me. And I kind of had an idea that it was going on, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. So as we pull up to my house, there's, you know, cars all over the place. And I walk in and, you know, my, my boys had made me this happy birthday banner, and it was like surprise and it was super cute. And once I got my focus, I realized half my family had beers in their hands. And I was just like, really, like, I am trying to stay sober and you're in my house drinking alcohol. It was, it just kind of ruined my day. So my birthday wasn't that fantastic. But take it back. So those are just kind of like I had to set boundaries, so I have to tell people, okay, when you come over to my house, there's not going to be alcohol and I don't want you to bring alcohol. So boundaries like that boundaries, like I'm kind of a, I'm kind of an empath. So Deb, when we get in this call, you're super happy. Like it makes me feel happy if you were to get on. You know, mm-hmm, look sad and be in a bad mood. Like I take that on. So I've set up a boundary that sometimes when I'm around really emotional or even like coaching people, you know, I have to take. Some time to decompress to kind of tell myself, like, that's not your energy, that's not your emotions, clean it out and kind of go about my day. And sometimes I'll go a couple days where I'm, I'm a little reclusive but it's it's necessary. It really is. Because when I don't get that time, I know that, you know, I'm. I'm gonna kind of freak out on somebody freak out on my kid, start screaming at 'em or, you know, just not be nice kind person that I would love to be . But that's, that's, that's how I got where I'm at. Realizing that you kind of have to build up some skills and habits and change your mindset. Before you can take something on like sobriety, because especially if you've been drinking a long time it's hard. It's real hard. And now that I have these skills, I've got this full toolbox that I can use any time anywhere, you know, I don't even think about drinking anymore. I'll have a really stressful day or. Something outside of my control will happen and I'm just like, fuck it. It's cool. You know, I'm fine. No big deal. So yeah, that's where I'm at right now. And I wanna share that with other people. I want other people to feel like, Hey, you can create the, your own thing that works for you. You know what works for me? Doesn't isn't gonna work. Isn't necessarily gonna work for you. So. Yeah. That's where I'm at Deb. Deb: Well, congratulations on your success and your journey, and now you're helping other people, which is fantastic. So I know that. As people were listening and especially at the beginning, you know, they like to get some good tips and whatnot. And so you had mentioned preparing someone to get sober. What, what would be some advice you have for that? Molly: Oh, that's such a good question. Kind of, like I said, it looks different for everybody. So I'm a single mom. So for somebody that's married, a good tip is making sure that your spouse is on board. If you don't have that support, it's gonna be really hard for you. If your spouse is a heavy drinker, it's gonna be hard and you're gonna have to come up. A way to combat that. There's gonna be, you know, expecting that you could start, feel resentful towards them because y'all, you'll have those thoughts. How come he gets to drink? How come she gets to drink? Why can't I drink? Like, this is not fair. Why do I have to be sober? So there's a whole mindset that goes into it. I feel like the biggest or rather the most important. Part of preparing for sobriety is learning more about yourself and loving yourself. Like you're here to take care of you. Not, yes. We have responsibility to our children. But you're not here to take care of your spouse. You gotta take care of yourself first, because if you don't, then you can't take care of anybody else. And I remember this quote I heard not too long ago that I'm sure you've heard, or it's pretty common, but you, you really can't love somebody else until you love yourself. And that really. I guess it was probably the, the time of my life that I read that, that it really kind of clicked in my head at how true that really is. So some more tips habits. Oh my gosh. Habits are huge. So I take people through their day and we evaluate everything that they're doing. So it may not seem like a habit that most people think about, but having an alarm set, that's a habit. Washing your hair before you wash your feet. That's a habit. So little things like that, taking, taking, having that person take me through their day. From the time they wake up to the time they go to bed, we can evaluate what things might change to make it easier on them. For example, when I was working and actually going into the office, there was a gas station. at literally at the entrance of my work. And so I would stop there on my way home from work and pick up some roadies for the ride home road. If you don't know what a roadie is, a roadie is just a drink that you drink while you're driving. be, I mean, that's what it is. So I would, I would stop there on the way home. So that was a habit. Well, if I was still going to the office, I would go out the other exit because there's not a gas station right there. So little, little things like that. Kind of walking through your day and seeing how you can make little tweaks. To really prevent the frame of mind of drinking. Breathing, breathing is huge for me. It is a lifesaver. So many ti when you have two boys, when you're a single mom with two boys, they can drive you crazy. If you're not like a clean person, maybe it's not such a big deal, but I kind of like to have a clean house and. They have socks everywhere, underwear everywhere. There's always a box of cereal on the counter. One time I found the box of cereal in the fridge. I'm just like really? So, you know, kind of picking your battles and breathing. It's so easy to do, and nobody has to know that you're doing it. You know, you don't have to close your eyes. You don't have to puff out your chest real big and take a huge breath. You can just take, you know, like three or four small breaths. Relax. Is this, is this really gonna, am I gonna let this piss me off that bad today? You. So those are some of my really good tips. Deb: What else I love? I love the breath tip because like it's free and it's accessible. It is free. Yeah. And you can do it. I mean, you have to do it anyway. Right. And so just to bring yourself back to the present moment is so helpful. I. Like, if I were to get specific about a breathing technique, I like to do the box breathing. Have you heard of that one? Yes. Yes. So Molly: it's essentially breathe in, hold it, breathe out, hold it, breathe in. Is that what you're Deb: talking about? Yeah. Yeah. And you're counting to four. And so I, and, and so like, you're you inhale for, for. And hold for four and exhale for four. And so I think that additional counting kind of switches your brain to a different activities yeah. To, to again, get you away from spinning out, so to speak and just doing like a minute of that box breathing, which you, I mean, you don't have to make it obvious, like you said, right. but I mean, you could. But even just a minute can like lower your cortisol level. So I think that is super cool. And you mentioned like having accountability and at least telling someone I, I think is really key. What do you think people struggle with and how can you help someone, you know, when they do have a slip up or a relapse or whatever you wanna call it, Molly: My biggest piece of advice is make sure you learn something from it. If you don't learn from it. So my first two relapses, you know, when I was in Eureka Springs and then there was another time later on of the year. I didn't learn anything from it. I thought, well, the first time, well, I can just have a couple or I was just really stressed out. I deserve to have a. You know, take yourself back to the moment that may have caused you to want to go to the liquor store or, you know, raid your husband's liquor cabinet or whatever it is. Take yourself back to the moment right before that happened and kind of, you know, ask yourself some questions. What was I thinking? What was I doing? What was I feeling? You know, all of those questions can really open up some answers. I may, I. Big advocate for getting quiet with yourself. You know, we're so busy all the time that we just don't have time to just sit and listen to ourselves. If you just sit and listen for a little while, ask yourself some questions, you'll start getting answers and you'll start having epiphanies and everything will just start clicking. So I feel like as long as. You learn something from it. That is a huge win. Don't beat yourself up over it. It happens to so many people learn from it and then go back to your toolbox and say, okay, what was it that didn't work for me? Or what can I add to my toolbox? So that next time, that same situation happens, you know, I make a better choice. Deb: Yeah, I think that, you know, reflecting on it and then moving on, like that's so important just to get out of the shame spiral. How do you address shame? I Molly: have a few questions that I go through for myself that specifically addresses shame. So the first step I usually take is uncovering my false self belief or the story that I tell myself. So for example when I first got sober, I was looking back at all the years that I drank and thinking I was such a horrible mom. Like, I can't even believe that, you know, my kids still love me after all of that. You know, I wasn't abusive towards them or, you know, anything like that, but just, you. picture yourself and you're, you're in your head, you know what you were thinking, you know, how you were feeling and you just build it all up inside and you become, I, I am a bad person versus yeah. Or you're like, I'm just doing a bad thing. Right. So I start asking myself some questions like, okay, what is it. that is making me think that I am a bad mom. Okay. So then I start listing out some of what those answers are and then I flip it to how are you a good mom? And my list is usually a hell of a lot longer on the good side than on the bad side. And once you start believing that and you, you really hold it. I know this sounds kind of corny, but you hold it really close to your heart and you really believe it and feel it that's what really changes. And the shame just kind of floats away. You know, you release, what's not serving you anymore. And you could even say that I release this shame that I'm feeling about not being a good mom, because it's not serving me anymore. I mean, just that statement alone is really powerful. I like Deb: that. That's so powerful. I know, like to, I, I guess I'm thinking about my own mom guilt, and I guess we call it mom guilt, but sometimes it does feel like shame. And it's, it's so common and I don't care. What kind of mom you are if you were drinking or not, or what kind of parent you are like, you're gonna have. I mean, there's no perfect parent. There's no perfect person. There's no perfect way to do sobriety either. Right. We're going to make mistakes and that's what makes us human. And, but especially on the parenting side, I have a favorite cup that says like, I'm proud to be a remarkably average parent and I'm just like, you know what? That's okay. I'm okay with. And, and you don't have to be a great parent. You just have to love your kids. And that's number one, right. A hundred percent. What other things or challenges do you see? You know, you mainly work with women. It sounds like middle age professional women. Is that right? Yeah. Yes. Molly: So. Middle aged professional women. Happy hours is a huge topic. I remember a gal saying one time that actually, I think it was Sarah HEK. She said that when she was in corporate America and she was real big, like her boss came to her and told her, like, you need to start coming to these happy hours. Like. It's it's gonna give you visibility. You get network you're gonna, and on all reality, it's just a big drunk Fest, right? So that's really hard to create that balance of showing up for work, showing people that, you know, you are interested and you are motivated and you are successful, but not having to, I mean, you don't even have to go. I mean for me personally, I'm like, mm-hmm, it's not for me. I'm not gonna go. I'm not gonna even put myself in that situation or that temptation. So at the end of the day, it's your choice. Another gal that I was talking to she's she lives in Hong Kong and networking is really big in her sector. She's in the financial sector. And if you're not attending these networking events, mm-hmm , then you're not make, you're not getting new clients. Right. And she was very, very blunt with me saying, you know, I mean, I am getting drunk. I mean, it's mostly men in this financial industry, so you kind of feel like you gotta keep up with them and they're drinking a whole bunch. And if you're not, they're like, well, where's your drink? You know, they kind of throw it in your face. it's , it's, it's hard for them because you don't wanna be the person that calls the other people out. Right. So what I mean by that, if you're in a setting where there's a lot of people drinking and they're like, Deb, how come, why aren't you drinking? Or where's your drink? It's usually where's your drink at? You're like, yeah, I've just got this water. And they're like, well, why come on, take a shot with me. Come on. It's no big deal. And you have to like, explain yourself, right? So I told her, I said, you know what? Just eliminate the question. You can go to the bar, order a club soda, put a line in it. Nobody will even know the difference. And then you can avoid the conversation altogether if it's really bothering you. So she could still go to the happy hours. She could still network. She could remember the people that she met at those networking events and actually form a more meaningful relationship with them. So that's a big topic. And for some people it's not an option to not go. So that's kind of why I suggest. You know, just walk up to the bartender and order, you know, something that may look like a drink. And I know a lot of people kind of frown on that. Well, why do I have to pretend like I'm drinking? But if, if you're uncomfortable with it, it's, it's whatever works for you. Mm-hmm , you know, don't worry about what other people think. It's whatever works for you. That's gonna make you feel more, more confident in yourself and more at ease in those situations. Deb: Yeah. I, I agree. I think until you become comfortable enough, like do all the tools, you know, just say, Hey, I'm doing a detox, I'm doing a 30 day cleanse. I'm doing sober October, whatever. And yeah, until you're able to own it, like it takes a while to have the confidence. And then come out as like a sober per, like I just, I don't drink guys. You're good. I'll drive whatever. Exactly. But it is, it is an interesting environment. My sister, she works for a big corporation and she's, and she's not a big drinker. She does drink. She's one of those people that can have one and take it or leave it, whatever. But she is, but she also chooses not to drink a lot and she's very protective of. Her space and her going to bed early and things like that. Good for her. But she's like, you would not believe the amount of shit I get. If I don't drink at these things and it's yeah, like you were saying, like, where's your drink? Let's have a shot. Why don't, you know, like it. It's interesting that there is a part of an actual working corporate culture where it is so encouraged. Molly: Yeah. Oh, it's, it's pretty bad. I mean, I was involved with it, you know, throughout my entire career at this giant corporation. I mean, it. It was a thing. I mean, you're in the cool crowd. You're in with the people that are going to happy hour and having fun. I went to a birthday party about a month ago and I'm just, I remember sitting there, so we're doing karaoke and everybody's drinking and I've got my bottle of Coke in front of me. And this girl comes up to me and asks if I was. And I'm not a big person, but I just like looked down and I was like, do I look pregnant? And she said, no, I just don't understand why you're not drinking. And I was like, are you serious right now? I said, I, I don't drink. You know? So it is just, I get that quite a bit, you know, where's your drink? I don't, I don't tend to go to, to bars or happy hours anymore, but. It's a thing. It's a thing. People, you know what it is, it's their own shame about drinking and possibly having a problem with it that they don't wanna be called out. They don't wanna feel bad if everybody else around them is drinking. It's cool. But as soon as somebody's like, no, I don't drink. Then they're like, oh shit. Well, Hmm. They start Deb: thinking. Yeah. Yeah. I was a big drink pusher Molly: I was too. I was too. Yeah, I was too. I remember we went to a happy hour at a billiards hall one time and there was a gal on my team. She was an engineer and she was from India and she was drinking a Shirley temple. And I remember. Come on. Come on. Let's let's take a shot. Come on. You can have a trick. It's cool. And she's like, no, no, I can't. It's not really my religious thing. And. I look back and it's just like, oh my God. Deb: Yeah. I look back and I'm like, I really kind of, I missed out on some friendships cuz I would write people off like, mm. They don't drink. Like I don't trust anybody who doesn't drink. You know that whole line. Yes. Yeah. I'm like cringing like, oh my God. I can't believe that. Yeah. And I think for those who are in the corporate culture, if your job is really important to you, I would just encourage you to consider like having a break or removing alcohol. And you were, you will become such a better worker. I mean, Percent like a super, I mean, you're just so much more productive at work and, and you get so much more done and it's less stressful. And so if you're thinking I'm missing out on this side of work by, by not doing these happy hours, well, I think you're going to even more than makeup for it on the other side of work by actually getting shit done. Would you agree? Molly: Oh, my God. I couldn't agree with you more. There were so many times I went into work, super hungover, and then I'd leave at like one or two, because I was just, I just couldn't focus. I just couldn't do it. Now I'm just like zipping through things. I'm so productive. I'm up at 5:00 AM. Boy. I'm getting, so I'm getting more work done before noon than I did in like a whole week. Deb: yeah. Yeah. I, I I've said like, it's, like, I took like a, a super smart pill, like , I'm just such a better worker. And that's just one area. Your life. So very cool. Well, what, what else would you like to share with people who are listening? Molly: Boy, that's such a good question for anybody. That's curious about getting sober. I guess I would just encourage you to keep being curious. Your curiosity is going to give you answers and it's going to help you find more tools that you can utilize. You'll find resources online, you'll start opening doors and meeting other sober people. And before you know it you'll. You'll just be like, you know what? I just can't even, I don't even want that life anymore. I want the clarity in the morning. I want the, the beautiful skin. I don't want sweat stains under my arms anymore. Just stay curious, you know, stay curious, reads books, get to know yourself, get to know. That's a huge one. People just don't know themselves. They're too busy being busy. Deb: Yeah. That's great advice. I love that. And it's safe too, to be curious and dabble in it and take breaks and all of that. Very cool. Well, what are your plans for the future? Molly: Actually I started a book. A couple weeks ago. I, I really believe in my program that I offer that I wanna get it out there and I want more people to have access to it. So I don't have a deadline or anything, but I'm, I'm working on that. And I'm super excited about that. And getting that launched. Oh, that's Deb: wonderful. And so how can people find you? Molly: You can find me. My website is as you are life coaching. I'm sober mobile as you are on Instagram. And I guess that'll just be in the comments or down below. They can, they can find my website. You can always book a call with me. So I love talking to people and getting to know them and seeing how we can maybe figure out your sober journey and get you prepared to quitting. I like to just uncover what it is that is driving people to drink. So I, I feel like once you figure out the root cause then a whole new world can open up to you and you can, the, the possibilities really are limitless. Very Deb: good. Okay. Yeah. I will post those in the show notes. So you can connect with Molly. And so Molly, I just wanna thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your journey and then giving those like really helpful tips. Molly: Yeah. Thank you so much, Deb. It was so great to be here. Love it.