Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Okay, here we are recording the last episode for now. I'm sure you saw the title and maybe it comes as a big surprise for you. And I just wanted to take some time to explain where I'm at, why I decided to end the podcast for now. And I've found that I just cannot say forever. I just can say for now because who knows, I may come back to it. Sound familiar, right? Doesn't that sound like our drinking when we stop drinking? For now, before I start, I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. Thank you to all the guests that have been on the show.
[00:00:43] It wouldn't be what it is without your stories, without your knowledge, without sharing, without being brave. So thank you. And this was a hard decision, but it also just felt like a really right decision for me for right now to just pause the podcast. It felt really good. And so I just want to use this time to reflect on why I've made this decision and also reflect on the last five years. I have been alcohol free since January 1st of 2020. So I just celebrated my five year soberversary and felt like that was such a big milestone and I think it actually is. I think there's some stats that show it once you reach five years that your chances of going back to drinking are much, much lower. So it just felt really good to get to that five year mark. And then I also just celebrated my 200th podcast episode. There's actually been more than 200 podcasts because I've done some bonus ones and some re release type ones. But yeah, it just kind of all culminated into my 5 year alcohol free anniversary and then 200th episode. And it just felt like a good place to pivot, a good time to pivot and re evaluate what I'm doing in my life, personally, professionally and, and just figure out what I want this next chapter to look like.
[00:02:28] So I want to reflect on the last five years of the podcast and of, of being alcohol free. Actually the podcast has been just about four years, I should say, but all feels so, so tied together. And then I want to just give you hope, hope that you, you can unwind this habit and you make it to a point where you don't need to think about it or talk about it or have it consume your world so much, which is very, very freeing. And so I think that I have gotten to this place where I spent so many years before finally having that successful day one. So many years reading about alcohol, taking breaks, trying to moderate, just kind of obsessed about it, in a way, taking up so much bandwidth, you know, trying to moderate. Oh, my gosh, you know, I say I'd rather have none than one. Moderation's a bitch for me, But I spent a lot of time trying to figure it out. And then once I decided I was done with drinking, that first year was just really about learning and growing. Not even as much growing, almost just doing. You know, I just. It was such like, I just want to get through that first year. I want to go through every season, I want to have every holiday, sober birthday, go to concerts, vacation, all of that, what have you. So the first year was just really about, like, doing it and proving I could do it.
[00:04:08] And then year two, I. Once I got to. I felt like I made it to the other side and I wanted to help other people.
[00:04:17] I was really passionate about that because part of the reason I started Alcohol Tipping Point was because I felt so alone for years. I just felt like I didn't fit in with the AA model. I didn't need rehab, inpatient, detox, anything like that, but I didn't have a place to go, and I felt like there was no other people like me. Well, now, I mean, five years later, wow. There are so many people out there like us who are living their lives, and they just have this thing, and this thing is drinking, and they're trying to unwind it, and they're looking for other ways to unwind the habit. So I started the Alcohol Tipping Point, and all of it was very organic. I started the podcast, or actually I started the website, started my Instagram, and then I started the podcast in 2021. And shout out to speak. Boise SB Studios. Now I think they're called who helped me start the podcast. I couldn't have done it without them. And I did it with them for a year, and then I took over doing it for. On my own for the last three years. And it's. It's been great. I've got to meet so many amazing people. I've learned so much, and it. It's been wonderful.
[00:05:44] But what happened, what I feel is I got to the point where I was like, maybe I don't need to talk about drinking anymore. Maybe I'm not as interested anymore. And I'm laughing because it's like, what? I never thought I would get to this point, but here I am, and I'm thinking, what. What else is there for me? And I was also feeling really selfish about making this decision. So I think what kept me going for a long Time was just this drive to help other people. I think you'll find a lot of people, when they quit drinking, they go through this evangelical kind of stage where you just want to shout from the rooftops. This is so great, you know, like, wake up, everybody. Join us. You just want to shake everybody. Do you know what alcohol does to you? You just want everyone to know and you want to help everyone and not leave anyone behind.
[00:06:46] And so a lot of that, A lot of that has just driven my life in general is I've just always been someone who wants to help people, and I will continue to do that in some shape or form. I just. I think I just need a break from doing it in this world. And so that's part of the reason I'm ending the podcast. And then also something I realized along the way is that I had really made a lot of my life living through screens. So much of it is online now. I have Instagram, I have an online program. I have the podcast. They. They're just all living through a screen. I feel like I kind of looked up in the last year and I was like, oh, my gosh, like, where, What. Where's my life? Here in Boise. My oldest daughter's getting ready to graduate. My other youngest one, she's going to be a junior in high school.
[00:07:48] And I'm just like, wow, what am I going to do? Where. Where are my people? Where's my community here? I have built such a wonderful, wonderful online community. And, man, I wish I could move you all to Boise, but I realized that I need. I need that in person, I need that in real life connection so, so badly. And I think if I don't unwind from the podcast, that I. I won't have a chance to get it, if that makes sense. So the other thing is, I feel like this really kept me going, kept me accountable, kept me sober, so motivating for me to keep going. And now that I'm five years, I feel like maybe I don't need to consume and create and eat, breathe, everything, you know, sobriety, recovery, all of that. Maybe I just need to live life, live life a little more and have a little more balance and not have this be such a core center of my life.
[00:08:56] So, yeah, that is part of the reason that I am ending the podcast for now. And the other thing that I'm pausing doing is the monthly alcohol a day, the live group. So that is a monthly. It's a dry month. I've done every month since July of 2021, although I did take a break. August 2021. Just kind of revamp it. And yeah, I've, I think I have counted up, I think I've done 42 alcohol a days just month after month after month.
[00:09:32] And I'm realizing that, that I need to take a break from too because that's something that, you know, every day you're doing something, every month you're getting it ready to go. It's just intensive and wonderful and wonderful. It's been wonderful. I've met the most amazing people.
[00:09:54] I've met friends for life. I've seen people change their drinking and not only their drinking, like just change their way. They think about themselves and how, how they, how they talk to themselves. I seem, you know, I lead with self compassion and self kindness and to see people start to be on their own team and realize that they are enough and they are worthy and it doesn't matter what you put in your body, what you're drinking, that doesn't make you a good or bad person. You are just a person, a human and you deserve to be here. So that has been truly wonderful.
[00:10:36] I felt like the podcast, Instagram and the monthly group were really tied together and so I felt like I needed to untie that for now just to get some breathing room to fill out, you know, figure out my next steps.
[00:10:55] And so that is pausing. But I do always have an ongoing email only alcohol a day, which you sign up and your day one starts the next day and you get daily emails. So I'm going to keep that going and then I'm also going to keep, I have an ongoing membership I call the Alcohol Free Badass Club, which has just been fed by the alcoholid groups. Really small but oh my gosh, I love everyone in there so much. There's so much growth and learning, especially for people who are done with drinking. So much growth and learning. And I, I will keep that going for now and then I'm just gonna look for in real life what can I do, what, what's, what's calling me in real life. And I am so, so grateful that I'm a nurse. So I have a lot of job opportunities, I have a great husband with a great job. So I can take a little bit of a break and figure out what's next for me. So I just want to acknowledge I'm extremely lucky in those areas.
[00:12:11] And yeah, I just want to live life outside of the screen.
[00:12:16] And that involves just detaching from the podcast and the alcohol a day group and Instagram also.
[00:12:25] And, and it felt really good. You know, I've been thinking about this decision for a while, and it was really weighing on me. It was a difficult decision to make, but once I made it, it felt really, really freeing. It was almost like when I made the decision that I was done with drinking, it was that same kind of like, click, that relief, that freeness, like, okay, because I think for a long time I felt obligated. I felt obligated. I, I, I think something that helped me was just commitment and consistency that helped me with being sober, but that also helped me with the podcast and the monthly group. It was just like I put out a podcast every Wednesday for the last three and a half, almost four years, every single Wednesday. And the same with the group running the group every single month for 42 months. And, and there's a lot to be said for doing something that, that consistent.
[00:13:36] And just like drinking, it kind of gets hard to unwind from. And so that's partly why I realized, like, okay, I'm gonna take a step back. I'm gonna unwind from this, and this is a good spot. I also feel really proud of what I've done and what I've put out. And I feel like it's enough.
[00:14:02] I think going back to that internal just drive I have to help other people and realizing, like, I feel good about what I put out there. With Alcohol Tipping Point, I feel like I have helped people. I know I've helped people and I know it's enough and I'm okay with that. Like, I feel good about that. You're still going to be able to listen to the podcast. The episodes will stay up. You can go back and listen to the beginning ones and laugh at those newbie ones. But there's so much, there's so much just enthusiasm, and I see so much enthusiasm in people and all these people around me now who are alcohol free, who are sober, and they're just so excited about it. And I, I love seeing that enthusiasm. I feel like I've lost a little bit of that and my heart hasn't been in it as much. And I just don't want to put something out there that my heart isn't in it because this has been so heart driven, so just innately driven for so long. And I realized, like, once I get to that point where I'm not feeling it as much, then, then I need to take a break. And I hope, you know, there may be a chance that I take this break and I'm like, gosh, I miss it. Just like I did with nursing, I, I was so, so sad to leave my nursing job in 2023.
[00:15:40] I bawled. I bawled that last day and then I actually ended up coming back and helping them and have been helping out since the fall of 2023. Not in any full part time capacity or not. But I really miss that connection and I realize how much I need to be around other people.
[00:16:04] And so whatever I do, I know that it's going to involve meaningful work, it's going to involve community.
[00:16:13] I want to be part of something that's bigger than me. So much of alcohol tipping point. Well, alcohol tipping point is me. So it's kind of lonely too, just to be in, in your own business. This online thing, it's so different than working as part of a hospital or a team or with, with a group of people. Like, I love working with a group of people. That's why I love doing the groups and why I'm keeping the AFPA club going. Because that is something that's really important to me. I love doing that. I should also add that in the alcohol a day, that hasn't all just been me. Shout out to Judy Cook, who has been a coach in that group for the last two, almost two years, I think now she has been leading one of the meetings each week and so, so shout out to her for just being a gem and being so supportive of me and the people in the group and she's just wonderful, wonderful. So I was a bummer to tell her because of course she wanted to keep going. So I want to thank Judy especially. But yeah, that's kind of where I'm at with ending the podcast for now, ending the alcohol a day for now, and just looking forward to what, what's this next chapter of my life look like? So I wanted to let you all know and thank you again for listening and I'm so proud of you for just being willing to do something about your drinking, for being someone that is going against the grain of society and changing it. Like, there's been so much change in how we view alcohol in the last 10 years. It's. It's amazing. What a great time to be sober. Or sober curious. We're seeing so many government agencies change their recommendations of alcohol. We're seeing so many studies coming out showing like, this isn't the benign substance we thought it was. We thought it was actually good for our health. It turns out it's not. It's crap. And so it's just becoming such widespread general knowledge that alcohol shit for your health. And it's okay to not drink. You don't have to drink. And if you're having trouble cutting back or quitting alcohol, you're normal. You're totally normal. You are not broken.
[00:18:55] You have just developed this habit and you can unwind it. You can change. And I've seen people change throughout the years and it's, it's been amazing. It's been so meaningful. And that's why I think I will always, always have this be a part of my life in some way, shape or form. I just don't need it to be as intensive as it has been the last few years, which is also so freeing because, you know, there, there's a point where you're tired of thinking about drinking and then you're tired of thinking about not drinking. And then there was so much consumption of knowledge and creation of knowledge. And I'm just ready to learn about other things and maybe talk about other things a bit more now. I will always talk about alcohol and drinking and unwinding the habit and all of that, but it's going to look a little different.
[00:19:55] So I guess that about wraps it up. Do reach out if you have any questions or stories or anything. I love hearing from people. You can always email me. Debalcoholtippingpoint.com Again, so much gratitude for you for listening.
[00:20:17] I just can't express my thanks enough. I would not have kept doing this if it weren't for you for you listening. So thank you. Thank you so much and I guess I'm signing off for now.
