[00:00:04] Speaker A: Welcome to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. I'm your host, Deb Maisner. I'm a registered nurse, health coach, and alcoholiday free badass. I have found that there's more than one way to address drinking. If you've ever asked yourself if drinking is taking more than it's giving, or if you've found that you're drinking more than usual, you may have reached your own alcohol tipping point. The alcohol tipping point is a podcast for you to find tips, tools, and thoughts to change your drinking. Whether you're ready to quit forever or a week, this is the place for you. You are not stuck, and you can change. Let's get started.
Welcome back to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. I'm your host, Deb Basner. And today on the show, we have Dustin Dunbar. Dustin is the author of the new book you're doing great and other lies alcohol told me. He combines his own experiences overcoming alcohol addiction with his phd in psychology to expose the lies we all too willingly accept about alcohol. Duncan is also a
[email protected]. By the way, AFR stands for alcohol free revolution. Yes, there is a revolution. That's so cool. And wearetheafr.org is a nonprofit online community helping others with alcohol addiction and helping raise consciousness. So welcome to the show, Dustin. I'm glad to have you on.
[00:01:34] Speaker B: Thank you, Deb. It's so fun and great to be here with like minded, conscious people.
[00:01:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I like that word. That kind of conscious awakening.
And your whole theme of lies that alcohol has told us, society and you personally. And I'm so glad that you wrote this book and wrote it from a male perspective, because we do see a lot of women leading the way in this whole kind of quote unquote sober curious world. And I know that men are looking for alternatives as well, too. So I think this is helpful to all people.
[00:02:15] Speaker B: Yeah, it is. And I did write it from a male perspective, and then the marketing of it, it's black and gray and stuff. And they say that men won't really go towards books that are marketed or written by women, but they will go towards menly man books and things like that. So, yeah, it is for men, but it also is definitely women will read either way, so it's for everybody. But it's definitely written as a male perspective. And you're right, there aren't that many men out there researching, writing, and dealing with this subject. So I'm happy to be doing this out of service. I'm retired, and this is all volunteer, so all proceeds go to help people fight with alcohol addiction. And then I'm a volunteer
[email protected]. Which is the charity, online nonprofit organization that I started to have Zoom coaching calls and help raise consciousness about this subject and help people get out of alcohol. Matrix and alcohol addiction.
[00:03:28] Speaker A: Wow. Well, I love that, and I love that you're giving back and in a different way. And that's so cool that it's a nonprofit. Wonderful. Wonderful. And I love how you said breaking out of the matrix, too. So can you share a bit about your drinking story and how you broke out of the alcohol?
[00:03:51] Speaker B: I'm really. Consciousness is everything to me, and my consciousness of alcoholiday started so young with family growing up in the midwest, puritan work ethic, farmers coming land run Oklahoma, and just if you're not working, you're not worthy. And so it was a tough upbringing, and my grandfather's and my father had it even way worse than I did with that. And they tried to alleviate their pain back in the day by being a man's man. And moonshine whiskey was flowing.
They had different stories. My grandfather was a farmer. My dad was a doctorate in history. And so very different people, but at the same time, both after a while, after they had consumed enough alcohol. Alcohol is a 100% addictive substance to anybody out there. Nobody can handle their alcohol. They got addicted. And I watched them as a young child, and I was like, oh, I vowed, absolutely, I will never drink alcohol. And then, of course, age 1516 comes around, and the peer pressure, the social trying to be fit in, seeing the hot teenage girl drinking a beer beside the pool and wanting to talk to her, and so going up to her and asking her with a beer in my hand, showing her that, hey, I can drink, too.
And it just accumulated from there of, like, to be in and in the crowd, you have to drink. And it was this unbelievable peer pressure. So I don't understand how people get through high school without drinking. Some of the ones I do know that do. I'm like, you guys have superpowers. You guys are unbelievable. You're not real to me. I'm like, how do you do that? That's unbelievable. So I applaud them. I applaud their parents. And I'm trying to do that with my children. I'm trying to teach them consciousness of alcohol, of how it's just like, cigarettes. So, like parents do today. They see somebody smoking around their kids, and they're like, ew, gross. That's disgusting. And they talk to them about it. Or they see if there's any kind of ad or something like that. They're like, oh, cigarettes are disgusting, they're gross, they're cancer sticks. They say all these things right then and there. Whereas alcohol, we don't do that when uncle's drinking or even the parents are drinking. That's really the big issue usually is they see their parents doing it.
So I'm going the route of really just educating them, just like you would with cigarettes. And it's working. They're loving it. I'm teaching them about how alcohol causes seven different types of cancer, things like that. So to regress here, to digress back to my story, it was just unfolding, but I ended up doing. I was really poor growing up, and I ended up doing really well in sales and traveling around the world, high end, first class, doing camus wines, martinis, champagne on first class flights, thinking, I'm living the life right. And it was just that slow drip for me, alcohol addiction, where in the end, I ended up craving it at about started craving it and it started being like, oh, if I'm going to any kind of social event, I'd be like, what kind of alcohol is going to be there? Do I need to bring my own? It was just this consciousness of, what am I doing? Whereas my brother, he was about age 17, and he got addicted really pretty immediately. Whenever he had his first drinks, it just hit that front lobe, cortex, whatever he needed in his brain. It just was like really fast, and it killed and numbed a lot of his pain from childhood that we had. And so, yeah, it's very different. It's interesting because I always talk about how people get addicted, different times, different bodies, different past, different consciousness. But the point of it is, I don't care where you're from. I don't care if you're from France, Ireland, if you're Irish, if you're Thai, wherever you are on the planet, if you are a body, 100% addictive substance. And that is the major point that I'm trying to make in the book and teach people that this is a substance, that this is not some kind of thing where only a certain class of people can get addicted. We all can get addicted. This is a very dangerous addictive substance that is also causing all kinds of psychological problems and illnesses, diseases and things like that, too. So there's so much that goes into this now with all the new science and research that's come out. And so, yeah, I go into that heavily and just like, we must educate our children, we must educate ourselves with this new science and get out of that alcohol consciousness, alcohol matrix that is the collective illusion, collective unconscious lie that alcohol benefits us in some way. And that goes back, way back. So whenever I was talking about my childhood consciousness, I got in meditation and stuff, get into where I'm talking about 10,000 years ago, we started using as humans. So we have this collective unconscious belief that it is the painkiller. For ten thousands of years, it has been the only especially socially accepted painkiller. And we're talking about for anxiety, physical things, war. That is all they had for thousands and thousands of years. And now we're in modern day where we don't need this temporary painkiller anymore. And I understand, yeah, if you're on the battlefield and you're getting your leg amputated and there's a bottle of whiskey around, there you go. And that's it. That's all you have. That's back in the day. Get it done, make it happen. That was it. But now we've got to get into this modern higher consciousness and evolve out of this mass consumption of this toxic substance that is so addictive and so just. I mean, ethanol, that's what it is, it's pure ethanol. And it cracks me up. As a man's man growing in Oklahoma, all these guys that I know, my friends and stuff, they have these beautiful trucks. They're like $80,000 trucks. So they're like, no way. And I'm putting any ethanol in my motor, right? And I'm like, that's interesting because that 10% ethanol that you're talking about, whenever you pull up to the gas pump tonight, you're going to go. And you're going to drink a substance has 40% ethanol and you're going to put it in your tissues, in your soft tissues, in your brain, in your body. They're like, what do you mean? And I'm like, that ethanol is the exact same substance as alcoholiday. It just has two different names. And they don't know. Most people don't know that ethanol and alcohol are the same thing.
Long story short, wrapping it up with that question is that I got addicted and I stopped drinking about four years ago, alcohol free. And the joy that started popping up was just unbelievable. I started having these spiritual, beautiful experiences. But I also took the major band aid off. And underneath that band aid was a major, massive amount of trauma from my childhood that I had been suppressing so much. And I had abandonment fears from my father being abusive and leaving us.
That's why for me, it was a big thing of drinking was to mask that pain to everybody and not talk about my feelings, not get them out and just deal with it with drinking. And, yeah, so once that happened, I went into major anxiety, and so it all surfaced whenever I took the alcohol away. And so I had to do a couple of years of personal development, and it was a really difficult time doing that. But now it's just this beautiful joy, this spiritual communion joy with the universe that is beyond words. And I'm just so happy to be where I'm at now, but I'd like to help people not go through what I went through. That's the point of all this. So there you go.
[00:12:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Thank you for sharing. I mean, you bring up a lot of different points and aspects about alcohol from your personal experience of growing up around it. Having your dad and grandpa who drank and just being. Using it for liquid courage and the peer pressure, and then just recognizing it was no longer serving you. And then once you remove it, then what do you do? You're just kind of this raw human being, right? So you went through this journey, and you've been through a lot, and now you're at the point where you're ready to share with people and whatnot. So that's wonderful.
[00:13:07] Speaker B: Well, I love raw human being. When you remove the alcohol, you become raw human and you become real. I love that. That was beautiful.
[00:13:15] Speaker A: Yeah, definitely. You become real. I remember that first year, I just felt like a little raw, exposed nerve walking around.
I mean, there were a lot of good things, but there were a lot of things that drinking was covering up, too, for sure. And so let's talk about your book, which is focused on personal stories. Very entertaining stories, too, I might add, but also just kind of the big lies that alcohol has told us. What would you say are some of the biggest lies that you discovered about alcohol as related to you?
[00:13:56] Speaker B: Yeah. So the big ones, each chapter has one, and we go into the myths of it and stuff, but the big ones are that you're going to have more fun, you're going to have more sex, people are going to like you more, and it really revolves around the social aspect of it. Is that what you see on all of the big alcohol advertisements, if you look into them, what they're pitching is sex. Almost every one of them. 90% of alcohol advertisement is sex, or social aspects of being with the guys and being with the women, the wine, and the whole thing. So I get into that whole social aspect of why we're doing it. And really it's a brainwashing. We've just been completely and totally big. Alcohol has done an incredible job of brainwashing us to.
On average we see five ads a day about how great alcohol is, how it's the elixir of life and without it you're not going to have as much fun sex and you're not going to be as social. And so yeah, that's what we get into heavily with it. But for me, it was being proven my worth being a man showing when I was like 1617, hunting, fishing all around the midwest and the older guys were doing it and after we'd be out all day hunting, we'd have beers or even in deer stands having the whiskey. And I just look back at that and it was just such a cultural interesting thing to be like, that's what you did. And if you didn't do it, then I get a little older and I get into sales and if I wasn't part of the guys, the CEO is wanting me to play golf with them and do tequila shots on the golf course. And you're in these beautiful locations and if you aren't part of that and doing that, then you feel like you're not going to get the job, you're not going to get to hang out because it's such a job promotional type thing too. So, yeah, there's so many myths and lies though. Every day I'm just like, oh my gosh. And I hear people talking about the health benefits of resveratrol in wine and I just crack up every time. I'm like, the tiny trace amounts of resveratrol that is in red wine is so minimal, number one. And you can get so much more with even dark chocolate, right?
And then blueberries and berries and things like that. And so the 13% ethanol that is in that glass of tiny trace amount of resveratrol. Please just stop, you're being ridiculous. Right? So they're starting to say that two glasses a week of wine is a 15% increase in cancer.
Stop. With the health benefits of putting ethanol in your body. And that's another big myth that I've been getting into too, and that's kind of my passion right now is the health stuff. So it depends on where I'm at with this whole process. In four years, you go through, whoa, there's another one, there's another one. And it's just all these debunking. But right now everybody's thinking, oh, it's so healthy. And the marketing ads you're seeing is like sparkling water, all the organic mango hard water, and I'm like, sparkling water? I'm like, what are you talking? It sounds so great.
I'm like, no, organic. Yeah, the ethanol in there. Yeah, it's organic. It's rotten fruit and vegetables. That is what you're consuming. So sure. Okay. You're going to call it organic, and you just have to see through all the lies that big alcohol puts out there. And it's not just them, though. It's our consciousness is that deep. Until we get into our own consciousness and cure that illusion, that lie that we have in ourselves, that alcohol benefits in some way, then we're going to struggle and we're going to be trying the willpower method and things like that. But until we really go inside ourselves and say, why am I thinking that alcohol benefits me? What is that? And really start to see, like, why do I feel like I need to have an external substance to have fun at a party? I didn't need that when I was ten, 1112 and I went to parties and I danced my butt off and roller skating and had the best time of my life, and it was just pure joy coming out of me, what happened to me where all of a sudden now I have to have this substance to enjoy myself? And so you go into that, and that's where the healing is.
[00:18:48] Speaker A: Yeah, it's so interesting. And you talked about ads and seeing those many ads, and I think in your book, you also talked about, like, they don't even have to pay for ads anymore because it's so pervasive on tv shows and movies and everywhere, like you said, in your own family. And it's just always part of celebration.
That's really hard when it's so ingrained in society.
But I think the good thing is, and thinking about the organization you work for, the alcohol free revolution is we are starting to see a cultural shift. And, yes, raising my hand.
[00:19:35] Speaker B: All the listeners, I'm raising my hand. Yeah, the revolution, right?
[00:19:39] Speaker A: So we're starting to see more mainstream media covering the harmful effects of alcohol, and we're seeing that Huberman Lab podcast. So if people don't know. Huberman Lab is one of the biggest podcasts in the world, and it's. Dr. Huberman is a neuroscientist out of Stanford.
Does not have any issues with alcohol himself. He's just a science based educator. But his episode on Alcohol and your health was the most shared podcast episode out of all the episodes in the world. It was the most shared podcast episode of 2023. So I think that's really cool. We're starting to see more health organizations and government agencies saying there's zero amount of alcohol is recommended for your health. So we're definitely starting to see the ship turning, but it's really slow, like you said, because there's still the social part. And I think that a part of it just goes back to people wanting to feel good and they're wanting. Your brain is hardwired to move towards pleasure and away from pain in the quickest way possible. And we've learned to do that with alcohol. And not just alcohol, like with our phones, with shopping. We are in a society where we don't have to feel uncomfortable. We want to feel comfortable all the time, whether it's like you're cold, you have your sweater, you're in your warm house. We have lost the ability to be comfortable with uncomfortable feelings and sensations. And so I think just going to like, okay, why? What's this bigger thing about alcohol? It's been around for 10,000 of years.
It's so interesting to me. What do you think are some other things as you were researching just the history of alcohol and modern society and what else came up for you in your book and the alcohol matrix?
[00:21:49] Speaker B: Yeah. So, once again, consciousness, and I believe that I know with Carl Jung and the collective conscious, we are basically all from our past. And our past has it ingrained in us that alcohol, because of it being the only painkiller for so many years. Like you said, it's a big ship that we're turning around, this ship, and I'm talking about in all of us, literally, when we come into this world, we have this alcohol illusion, what I call the alcohol matrix. And Catherine Gray and so many other people have had this awakening out of this consciousness. And it's so much like, oh, my gosh, the rest of this planet is plugged in and laying on these gurneys with these tubes in them, with this ethanol piping in them, thinking that they're in this world of joy and fun and that they're living this high life, just like I was. So I'm not judging anybody. I was right there with them, right? Yeah. And you wake up out of that and you were like, oh, you slapped your forehead and you're like, oh, my God, what was I doing? I was spending all this money on this substance, and it was just become part of my life and offering it people and buying it for people and hurting my body and being hungover and doing horrible stuff, drunk, stupid stuff, harming other people in so many different ways, psychologically and stuff. And I'm like, wow, what is that all about? And it's just this huge, beautiful awakening whenever you come out of it, but it's also like you're looking around, and I don't have any judgment or anything. Like I was saying, for other people drinking it and doing that. But at the same time, I do have this huge passion to help people wake up out off of that gurney. Get off of that and unplug yourself and yell at those big alcohol marketers to get away from you. And you are a powerful being. You are infinite, timeless being.
And any kind of addiction is so tiny, so infinite, so tiny compared to what you are inside. And so at the beginning, like you said, you feel so raw and you feel small, and you feel like, what am I doing? I have this awakening feeling that I don't want to drink anymore. But then am I going to lose my friends? Am I going to be in the same groups? Am I going to be invited to the book clubs? Am I going to be part of the guys to go hunting? Am I going to get to go to the games with them? When I tell them that I'm not drinking anymore, what are they going to say? And there's all these questions and all these things. Just know that that is all part of it, and it is so normal, and you are not alone. The alcohol free revolution, our tagline is, you will never walk alone. So whenever I had my awakening, I was like, oh, now what? Because I did change my friends. I changed a lot of my life. I didn't want to hang out in bars anymore and just talk about sports and hunting and drink the whole time. I wanted to talk about spirituality and love and communication and these deep relationship things that I talk to people about now instead of surface.
Those friends that I used to have that think that they were really friends were just bar buds kind of things. So you will change. Your life will change when your consciousness changes, and there will be some challenges with that, but in the end, your relationships with yourself and with others will be infinitely more enjoyable than what they were. And it's hard to believe that because of all the laughter and things that you have with the buds drinking and all this stuff. But what I've really noticed is now all those drinking buds into us, too, are coming to me and saying, dustin, how'd you do it? What did you do? I want to try it. What do we got to do? I'm like, yep, here we go. It's that consciousness that you're talking about and that awakening that is so beautiful to see. So the timing is great. And I do think it's a lot to do with all the science that's coming out. The big alcohol companies are no longer able to suppress and to push that all down like they have in the past. Like Big Tobacco did it for know, paying the Marlboro man know. It was absolutely know. But it really upsets me when I see ads. Like Modelo came out with an ad for one of their beer and it's like this Olympic swimmer and he is sitting around a fire and they're talking about how he had cancer. And he is such a fighter for getting through cancer, and it shows him about to have a drink. And of course that's the only thing they can't show is him actually having a drink. But he's doing that with his friends. I'm sitting there going, this man had cancer and now he's pouring ethanol into himself, is what you're saying. And you're promoting that. And, you know, Modelo knows that alcohol causes cancer. Let's be absolutely real. So on all the big alcoholiday companies know that it does. And they're doing this blatantly advertising, and that pisses me off. Whatever. I'm like, okay, so they better have their fighting spirit because the alcoholiday free revolution is coming after them. Whenever we get with our money, we're going to start doing ads going against just like big tobacco, and we're going to be petitioning to lawmakers and we're going to fight. And I'm not saying prohibition stuff at all. That doesn't work. I'm a free loving, do what you want, american. But just like cigarettes, we treat alcohol just like cigarettes, and we put labels on it and we don't allow the advertising to just like cigarettes where we're like, no, our kids do not need to be seeing that on tv, on banners. You're at the beach here. I'm in San Diego and I'm at the beach and I look up and there's a plane flying by and it's like Coors light, refreshing with this huge banner up and down the beach. And I'm like, it's everywhere. It's just literally, you cannot get away from these advertising campaigns. And so that's that whole brainwashing stuff that I'm really passionate about, too, is going after big alcoholiday advertising.
[00:28:21] Speaker A: That's really cool because I was going to ask you, what can we do to change it big picture? And then I want to ask you about little picture, which would just be individually, but big picture wise, you said going after advertisements and kind of following the model they did with big tobacco, contacting your Congress representative.
Tell me more about what we can do. Big.
[00:28:54] Speaker B: Is in the book, I put a date. The buddha says that we create through our imagination and our actions.
It's really good to get specific with that. So I put in there that January twelveth, 2028 will be signed into law the Alcoholiday Advertisement act. Just like the Tobacco Advertisement act. And what that is, is basically that you cannot advertise alcohol on tv, radio and things like that, just like cigarettes and tobacco. And then all the stores, whenever you're walking in, you'll see things like, alcohol is a highly addictive substance. Quitting is very difficult. Right? Yeah, but there's things like that because you see that with tobacco, you walk into stores now and you see things like that. You see the horrible throat people and the cancer pictures and all this stuff, and they don't show. It's so weird how alcohol just gets away with everything. And on bottles, it's basically like, if you're pregnant or driving a big truck, don't do it. And you're like, wait, really? That's the warning.
And we shut down the world. 1.8 million people died during COVID And I'm not trying to minimize that or anything like that. We shut down the entire world, financial, the whole bit. Guess how many people died of alcohol consumption that year?
3 million.
So for me, that's a mic drop. That's like, wait, we shut down the entire planet basically for 1.8, and we just look at that 3 million and we're not doing anything. We're literally just going, oh, yeah, it's been around for a long time. Yeah, people have issues with it sometimes. And I know my uncle, my dad, my da da da. And then you could start talking to people. And everybody has major issues with themselves or their family that have been horror stories. And it's just time to wake up out of that consciousness and do something and do stuff and get off the sidelines. And so that's what I did.
I have to practice what I preach. So every day I'm like, okay, let's go. And yeah, I get times where this energy and this passion, I feel burned out. Like right before the book released. Yesterday was the book release. And I felt like I was pregnant for like twelve months where you're this huge and you're like, get this baby out of me.
It's like, come on, all the social media, all this stuff to do it. So I've got this new energy now today, which is great, but it's been trying, and I'm rejuvenated. And I'm so happy to be talking to people like you because that's where I get the energy from.
[00:31:54] Speaker A: Well, that's great. Yeah. I'm really passionate about it. As a registered nurse working in preventative health, it's so interesting.
We rarely screen for alcohol use. We'll ask if you smoke. We don't ask if you drink or how much or anything.
And with all these chronic diseases, with chronic disease management, something we do is prevention. Right? So we identify people with pre hypertension, prediabetes, when their ldl cholesterol starts to raise. Like, we're doing all these interventions to help prevent this chronic disease. So you don't get the heart attack or a stroke or whatnot. But we don't do that with alcohol as far as treatment goes. So I think that is a big public health issue and disservice. And I think it's partly part of that bigger cultural thing that it's just been so socially accepted for so long. So I love the advocacy and lobby work that you all are doing. I think that is so important to help change it.
[00:33:12] Speaker B: Yeah, it's good. And we're just beginning, so we're very small. Our little Zoom groups are mostly my coaches right now. So if anybody's out there and they want to get on this revolution train, then just go to wearethafr.org and it's school, it's skool, and you sign up in there and it's all free Zoom stuff. And it's very different from aa type meetings. We have a lot of fun.
We don't do the past thing too much. Yeah, we know that you did a lot of stupid stuff whenever you were drunk. We all did.
You can share that and get that out. And we love when people are vulnerable and need to do that, but it's much more. I call the meetings high consciousness trainings. And so we are very much in the present moment and geared towards the future, so it's great. But at the same time, I get into my past if it feels like it's necessary to let somebody know that we've been there and stuff like that. But it's a fun place to be and it talks about how to communicate with people.
It's funny because people are always like, I thought I was coming here for alcohol. I'm like, yeah, you. You did but you came. We're dealing with high consciousness psychological stuff instead of just sitting there talking about ethanol all day. It's your relationships and things to take that edge off in a very healthy way. Because one of the biggest myths about alcoholiday is that it takes the edge off. And so all you're doing with alcohol is suppressing the edge and pushing it down, and the edge is getting bigger and bigger underneath that sore that you're trying to suppress down. So if you're having problems with your boss, your spouse, your kids, anything like that, money, financial, that's what we're there, and that's what we talk about. And we get it out and we deal with it face head on. And then that edge is really taken off because we get a solution and we work through it in a natural, healthy way instead of suppressing it and saying, oh, I'll deal with that tomorrow, let's go out and have five drinks at the bar and watch the game. So it's so liberating to be just taking life as it comes instead of avoiding life.
[00:35:34] Speaker A: Well, what are some of your other just tips for people who are new to this, and maybe they're just doing dry January or they're not sure if they want to completely quit drinking and they keep going back to it.
What do you have to say to those people?
[00:35:51] Speaker B: Yeah, everybody has their own relationship with alcoholiday, and there is no becoming alcoholiday. Free is not a competition. So try different things. Try whatever you can and see if it works for you.
Whenever four years ago, I was looking around going, what can I do? Like, is there apps I got on AA Zoom meetings? It wasn't for me at all, but I tried different things and started just researching and learning everything. And so really just get out there and put yourself out there and start looking at stuff and try the AFR. It's free. AA is free. Try whatever you can and then find what resonates for you and find that community, because the community is going to be your key to continuing on. It's just so cool. Whenever you start having a friendship and you look at somebody else's face and they have that glow that you know, that you're like, if I can get on the other side of this, I can be like them and I can have that joyous, fun, present moment life that I know is out there and I know that's what I am inside. I know I'm so powerful, but I just need to get this addictive ethanol away from me and change my life. And so yeah, dry January. You're trying that sober October, all those kind of things. But like I was saying earlier, until we really change your consciousness, that you, with all your mind, soul being, understand and know that that substance that you are consuming is 100% addictive. It's also 100% toxic. It is ethanol. It is so bad for your mind, your body and your spirit. And I just felt blah the whole time. I looked back at my drinking and I was always like, yeah, you have your high moments where your first drink and you're like, high and tipsy and whatever, but then it's just this kind of low blah.
I'm not my fullest. I'm not having this joy that I know that's in me and now this beautiful joy that just flows out of me and through me, and I'm like, every day I'm like, how can I keep that going? What do I got to do to have that energy? And the number one thing is to not have ethanol running through your veins. And when you get that in your consciousness that this is horrible stuff, instead of this is life's elixir and that it benefits me and makes me funnier, sexier, and all these things, until you get that these whole, like, ten days. Oh, I did ten days and didn't drink. It's just white knuckling. You're like, doing this willpower thing. It's almost like you're taking something away during dry January. This isn't taking something away. This is giving you your life and giving you your joy, giving you your health. And you are gaining everything by removing a toxic, addictive substance.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: You had talked earlier about your brother, and I appreciate that because my brother also gave up drinking.
He'll be three years alcohol free around Easter. But hearing you talk about growing up as a guy and the hunting and the camaraderie with guys, I was like, oh, this sounds just like Chris, but I was curious how your brother is doing and what his journey has been like, if that's okay for you to share.
[00:39:35] Speaker B: Of course. Thank you for bringing up. He's in the book as well, and he's still.
Yeah, he's a drag queen. He was wearing mom's high heels at like, age.
Yeah, drag queen in San Francisco, Castro area for like eight years, something like that. Had a nationwide cable tv show. And like I was saying earlier, he got addicted really quick and to alcoholiday. So he has been alcohol free for the last. I think he's at 19 years now. And he did it through AA and is a big AA supporter, all that. But he did help me create the alcohol free revolution in all kinds of ways, creative and things like that. But, yeah, he's out there living the alcohol free life and absolutely still the funniest person I've ever met and known. And there's just creativity flowing through him.
His stories are throughout the book, and he is absolute hoot. And so that's another. We're going to have him as part of the alcohol free revolution Zoom meetings. He's going to come in every now and then and do some shows for us about drinking and things while in character, when to watch is his character.
[00:40:58] Speaker A: Oh, I love that. Yeah.
Well, what else do you want men to know about drinking and unraveling your drinking that makes you a little different than women who are going through this or just in general?
[00:41:15] Speaker B: Yeah. So the big thing about being a man's man is we love women and women around us, and we want to be attractive and we want to be sexy, and we want to have women think that we're sexy. I think some of our biggest insecurities and fears I know that some of our biggest insecurities and fears is surrounding women and talking to women and being social with them. And so we have this consciousness that we think we need to drink and that we need to offer drinks to women to have it. Lighten it up. We're going to lighten the scene. We're going to lubricate the party and then get everybody.
And it all surrounds this whole sexual consciousness. And the point that I really want to make to men is that you are so much sexier and better looking and attractive as an alcohol free man, you are safe for a woman. The biggest thing, and you, please back me up on this, is if a woman feels safe, how does that feel to you? Versus a man who's drinking and kind of a little bit out of control and saying different things and thinking he's funny and loudmouth, versus a man who is there and is present and listening and speaking when it's proper and telling appropriate jokes. So you being a woman, what do you think about that?
[00:42:55] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, definitely a safety thing. And also, I have teenage girls, and one of the things I worry most about them is drinking and safety around men, honestly. And most sexual assaults involve alcohol. And it's scary as a woman out there, and I know that obviously there are really great men out there, and I think that the alcohol, I mean, I know a lot of people, this takes it on another level, I guess, but I do put blame and fault on the alcohol. For a lot of those sexual assaults. I don't think that as many of them would happen if the men weren't so intoxicated.
And so, yeah, it's scary. So, yeah, I think it's much safer to be around a man who's not drinking, for sure.
[00:43:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, the numbers don't lie. And it's just. I just like women. But, yeah, I have a nine and ten year old daughters, and over 50% of college women will be sexually assaulted in college. So basically, I'm looking at my girls, and I'm like, okay, one of them is going to be sexually assaulted. Right?
This is the real numbers. And I'm like, okay. This is another reason why I'm really talking to them about alcohol and how we have to really treat it like cigarettes and just be so careful with this substance because it does. It takes all away our inhibitions. And I don't know if you remember the movie animal house, but I referenced that in my book, and it's the boy sitting there with the passed out girl, and she's got her top off on the bed in college, and he's got an angel on his shoulder, and he's got a devil on his shoulder, and it's this conversation, and it's in his consciousness of which way to go with this situation. And in the movie, he goes, the angel side, right? Okay, that is a movie. If that boy is drunk in college with the raging hormones, the chances of him not doing something to that girl are virtually nil because of everything that's going on in that situation of partying through the night, hanging out with the girl. Now she's in his college dorm room. She's passed out with him half nude. And you just sit there and you go, okay, that is exactly where this is going.
If you remove alcohol, then that boy has such a better chance of not. Of having the inhibitions and going, wait, this is a passed out human that I need to take care of. I need to make sure she's okay. This is not healthy. And all the red lights are flashing. Whereas if alcohol is there, it masks all the red lights flashing of, like, this is not an okay situation. So, yeah, I feel for the boys because I had that raging hormones in me in college, too. And the drinking is just unbelievable. So whenever I hear about boys, they're in jail for so long for these rapes and things, it tears my heart out because I know that if you would have removed alcoholiday, they probably wouldn't have done what they did. And that's just my personal feeling. I'm not trying to take away from that person and anything like that. I know we are getting to a different level with that, but that's just what I see. If we removed alcohol from college parties and stuff, that percentage of 50% would dramatically go way down. There is absolutely no doubt that that would go so far down.
[00:46:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I agree.
It's a hard topic to talk about, but it is so important, I think. Have you seen the movie a promising young woman?
[00:47:04] Speaker B: No.
[00:47:06] Speaker A: It's with Carrie Mulligan. It came out a couple of years ago, but it's very well done. It's basically a revenge movie of a young girl who was raped by a guy who was intoxicated. And she gets revenge. I don't want to spoil it too much, but she's getting revenge on. She's pretending that she's just drunk out of her mind and going home with these guys and getting revenge on them, basically. But it's just a big, I don't know, expose about this sexual assault and alcohol and the prevalence and just men behaving badly together. Like you said, they wouldn't do it, wouldn't remove the alcohol, and you're not going to see that. I mean, always there'll be this sociopath, smaller population, but, wow, just pouring fuel on the fire.
Alcohol is shit. It's just complete and utter shit.
[00:48:15] Speaker B: Honestly, the forehead stops and it's just funny to say that because everybody at parties and everything, if you say that, it's just this, like, the record stops and you're like, yeah, alcohol is shit. And we have to get out of this consciousness that it's this elixir and that it's doing so many good things for us. Whenever I look at my life and I go, what good did that ever do? And then I say, okay, what bad did it do? Literally, I look at the bad things that I think that how I behaved and how I acted in my life and the stuff that I did, I'm like, everything had to do with alcohol. And it was part of that situation. And I'm like, if I wouldn't have been drinking in that situation, would I have done that now? We don't know, but I sure as hell would have loved to take the chance and have the wherewithal and the consciousness to have reacted in that situation in a completely different way.
[00:49:18] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely.
Well, what else do you want to share with people who are listening?
[00:49:26] Speaker B: I think another know I have to keep promoting this whole alcohol free revolution, but if you want to follow me on Instagram, it's Dustin Dunbar. AFG is my Instagram and AFG is alcohol free guru. And so there's a lot of tips and things on there where I teach meditation and it's only like 1 minute to one and a half minutes per day is what I'm posting right now. But through there it's all free and just tips and me coaching and talking about it and we're just reprogramming people's minds to know that alcohol is shit.
[00:50:05] Speaker A: Love it. Love it. Well, and I would encourage people to get your book. You're doing great. And other lies alcoholiday told me. Brett, I'm halfway through, but it's very entertaining like you said, especially the relationship with you and your brother. I really appreciate that and I just want to thank you again for doing what you're know. Viva la revolution.
[00:50:30] Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you so much for having me on and it helps so much to have people out there to support this and the energy. We are all connected and I am not doing this alone. I of myself can do nothing and it's just the energy pouring through me and I'm just trying to give it out there and keep it going because this ship is turning and it is starting to turn pretty well. It's a big one, but we're turning it.
[00:51:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Awesome. Well, thank you. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the alcoholiday Tipping Point podcast. Please share and review the show so you can help other people too. I want you to know I'm always here for you, so please reach out and talk to me on Instagram at alcohol tipping point and check out my website, alcoholtippingpoint.com for free resources and help. No matter where you are on your drinking journey, I want to encourage you to just keep practicing, keep going. I promise you are not alone and you are worth it. Every day you practice not drinking is a day you can learn from. I hope you use these tips we talked about for the rest of your week. And until then, talk to you next time.
Our.
