It’s Never Too Late to Quit Drinking: Interview with Sober Grandma Lynn King

Pod Ep 57 Sober Grandma Deb: welcome back to the alcohol to bean point podcast. I am your host Deb Masner. I'm a registered nurse health coach and alcohol free bad-ass. And today I'm super excited to have Lynn king on. I've been calling you sober grandma in my head, Lynn, I guess you are. I know. So why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself to our listeners. Lynn: I'd be glad to Deb. Yeah, so I am the sober grandma and that's thanks to you. Very, very early. I mean, the first few days of the becoming alcohol free, I came across your podcast and you were talking about ideas. And how important it is to claim an identity. And I thought, well, I'm at a you know, I've been lost for so long and I'm at a crossroads here looking to figure out how to move forward and a healthy, wholesome way. And it came to me. Well, the sober grandma, you know, that's it. I'm, I'm firing drunk, grandma. She's out here. I'm promoting sober grandma. And at that time we were just taking off on I gosh, our dream trip, we had planned it for two years to take 10 weeks and traveling the United States and hit all the major national parks. So the sober grandma road trip was born and that's how all that stuff. Deb: Oh, I love that. So your background then you're in Florida now, is that right? Yes. Lynn: I'm Florida born and raised retired five years ago from the university of Florida. And yep. We are living in a Edgewater, Florida on a canal that lets out into the Indian river that lets out into the Atlantic ocean and it's paradise. It is. Beautiful here. Deb: Yeah, that sounds beautiful. Well, thank you for sharing that and for reaching out to me online and it was just really special and I'm so glad that that resonated with you and, and helped you with your new identity, because it is important. What we call ourselves. Lynn: It is, you know, once I claimed on to sober grandma, it became very clear to me that there were still. That I needed to take. And, you know, Instagram has been wonderful. There's just a, such a beautiful bad-ass alcohol free community on Instagram. And I started to see that and you see it a lot that it's not just a matter of stopping. You know that that's kind of the easy part in a way. I mean, it's not, it's a struggle, but it's all the other stuff you have to do then, because for me drinking, I was drinking to numb pain. I had emotional pain that I just couldn't get over. And it had been going on for a couple years. It was a lot of other things. I mean, this wasn't sudden I wasn't. A lifetime heavy drinker. In fact, early in my years, I really didn't drink much because if I had to, I didn't feel good. I was sick. It's like, who needs this? I really didn't. And then we raised four children, you know, and I was busy being mom and I guess the mommy wine culture, you know, wasn't that big then? Our baby's 32. But anyway, so it didn't drink then. So it wasn't really, till the last few years that I was working as I was heading towards retirement, that, you know, we would have wine with dinner, my husband and I would have wine. And, you know, that just seemed kind of normal and it got to be a daily thing. And that just seemed kind of normal. Didn't think much of it. But what I've learned since is once you hit a place where you're emotionally not well. Let me just put it that way, whatever that may look like for you. For me, it was a lot of emotional pain. And like I said, I started drinking to numb the pain and it went down fast from there. It went down really fast. You know, I, I listened to a lot of podcasts and I hear people, you know, they started drinking when they were 12, 13, that kind of thing. And it's been a lifelong. Challenge for them. And that's why I'm so adamant about being open and sharing my story, because it was never a problem for me until it was. And it, it, I feel like, you know, being a 68 year old churchgoing grandma that, you know, that's, I didn't expect to run into an alcohol problem at that stage in my life, but I sure did. And that tells me there's other people out there that the same thing. And so that's why I do this. This is, that's why I do the Instagram. That's why I enjoy guesting on the podcast is I just want to get the word out. You know, that this, this happened to you. This happened to me. This can happen to anybody. And when it does it ruined your life, I was in such a, such a bad dark. Deb: Yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad you brought that up about B you know, just being older and developing these issues with alcohol. I have a lot of women who reach out to me and maybe not men as much because men aren't as good at reaching out. I mean, I guess that's a stereotype, but partly true, but I've had a lot of older women reach out and say like, am I too old? Am I going to fit into this group? And what's interesting is because I run monthly dry groups. What's interesting is the majority of people in my group are over 50, a lot of retired women. A lot with similar stories to you that are just like, I didn't start drinking. Until I was older till the, my kids were grown until I retired. Like that's, it's pretty common. And I think it's so important. Like it, it can start at any time. You're right. And it can happen to anyone. So I appreciate you sharing. Lynn: Absolutely. I just think that's so important and that's why you know, as you know, April is alcohol awareness month. And so this is a great time in just coming up on 11 months. So, you know, I'm still fresh on the journey to yeah. On the tour. Thank you. Thank you yet. Feeling just fantastic. But I've kind of shifted my focus. And my earlier post, I was talking a lot about alcohol free lifestyle and promoting that, you know, your life doesn't end when you put down the bottle, you know, life is so much better when you quit drinking. Absolutely. So I was just focusing on, yes, our 10 week road trip in. But we continue to have daily adventures in life. I say me that are we that's me and my husband, we've been married 44 years still like each other. So that's pretty awesome. So just documenting daily, what I do, you know, and that's kind of that, but I I'm turning more towards promoting alcohol use awareness of alcohol usage. 'cause I sure didn't know anything about it. I mean, it's only been in the past several months that I started learning about alcohol use disorder and that's kind of where the medical community is more focused nowadays. Alcohol realism is not so much. Well, it's not a medical term and it's not. Yeah, it's not a, it's just a turn, a colloquial term that, you know, evolved as a way of describing people who have alcohol use disorder is what it boils down to. And there's different. A whole range of alcohol use disorder. And I think it's very valuable to get that message out and for people to know that, because I know for myself again, I'm 68, so I'm I'm from your parents' generation, or maybe even beyond that. And an alcoholic was considered someone who was down and out and on the street. And. You know, more or less I hopeless situation. And you didn't didn't look for help until you were to that point. That was just kind of my mindset, you know, it's like, well, I'm not down and out on the street, I'm holding a job, you know, responsible position. I'm keeping things going on and then retired, you know so I can't be an alcoholic and if I'm not an alcoholic, then I must be okay. You know, I must not need help. But yeah, I got to the point that it was painfully obvious that I had. I had to get help, you know, and that was really, really hard. Dad is to admit to myself that, you know, in your heart, a heart, you've known this for literally years, you know, five, six, maybe 10 years. You've known that this is an issue. But. Kind of put it aside because from where your reference point you're not an alcoholic in my mind. I was not an alcoholic. So, you know, just keep going. You're doing okay. You're fine. Yeah. So the alcohol use disorder and I put a link tree in my bio on Instagram, the sober grandma road trip that has the. AUD alcohol use disorder identification tool, and yeah, you're familiar. I'm sure. And I'd kinda like to read off because there's 10 there's 10, but anyway, there's these questions that I think pretty much anybody who drinks at all. Are gonna answer yes. To some of these questions and in full disclosure, I'll say up front, I answered yes to all of them. So if you don't mind me taking a minute, I'd like to read through the list. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. So it's, and, and then, like I said the test is online. You just click the buttons and to your question, submit it. So in the past year, have you. Had times when you ended up drinking more or longer than you attended to yep. More than once wanted to cut down or stop drinking or tried to, but couldn't yep. Spent a lot of time drinking or being sick or getting over other after effects or even thinking about drinking. Yeah. Wanted a drink so badly. You couldn't think of anything. Yep. Found that drinking or being sick from drinking often interfered with taking care of your home or family or caused job tribals or school problems or family relationship issues. Yep. Continue to drink, even though it was causing trouble with family or friends you have given up or cut back on activities that were important or interesting to you or gave you pleasure in order to do. Yep. Now, talk about that a little bit more in a minute, more than what's gotten into situations while or after drinking that increased your chances of getting hurt, such as driving, swimming, using machinery, walking in a dangerous area or having unprotected sex. Yep. Continue to drink, even though it was making you feel depressed or anxious or adding to another health problem or after having had a memory blackout. Had to drink much more than you once did to get the effect you want or found that your usual number of drinks had much less a bet than before. Yep. Found that when the effects of alcohol were wearing off, you have withdrawal symptoms such as trouble sleeping, shakiness, restlessness, Macias, sweating, or racing heart, or a seizure, or since that, or sits things that were not there. Yep. So, you know, high score at a hundred. Not that I was proud, but you know what I felt validated. I felt validated that. Yeah. You knew in your heart of hearts, that there was an issue here now here's your solid proof. Now it's time to do something about it. Yeah. And then what was the one I wanted to come back to? Oh, giving up things that used to give you pleasure at the end of my drinking career. I never left the house. I didn't want to God, it just, I didn't want to face people. I didn't want to have to act like I wasn't drunk because I was I've said, you know, my poor husband, he was at the end of his rope. He didn't know what to do. He's told me, you know, of course we've talked a lot since but. He thought I had early onset. Alzheimer's Deb: wow. Interesting. That makes sense though. Lynn: Okay. Yeah. And so, you know, my comeback to that is no, I just had early onset, happy hour, you know, when you start drinking, as soon as your feet hit the floor, cause you've got the shakes and you're trying to, you know, get to some kind of normal. And then continue all day. You're not going to make a whole lot of sex. You're not going to remember much. You're not gonna want to do much. And that's where I was. I was, I was to the point that I was saying things like, well, it doesn't really matter cause I'm not going to be here much longer. Oh Deb: gosh. Lynn: Yeah. I mean, because in my mind I was so miserable. And it was so dark and there was no point, you know, everyday what's the saying, you know, there was no point. So yeah, I was at a really low, low point and it's just shocking to me to think that was less than a year ago. That's Deb: how, yeah, Lynn: just a year ago this time. Deb: So what helped, how did you get out of that? Lynn: Yeah. Okay. So my oldest daughter who lives in Seattle and has our grandson who is seven, she sent me a text and she said, mom, I'm really getting concerned about your drinking last night on our FaceTime. You were making no sense. You were repeating yourself. You were slurring. And when we closed off. You know her son, my grandson wanted to know what is wrong with grandma. And I was like, oh Pudge, you know, I, okay. That's what I needed. I needed somebody to stick it in my face and she did. And I was like, you're right. You know what, Deb? I did not even remember the call. I had to look. Yeah, I did not remember the FaceTime from the night before. No zero. I'm like, what is she talking about? You know, and I look, and there's a FaceTime, like, you know, 25 minutes. Wow. And I'm like, okay, this is. So, yeah, I cover a lot of that. I'm not a plug the other, the other two Deb: podcasts that I've done cause they're great. And if you're listening to this podcast, you like podcasts and I love Lynn: podcasts. I love the podcast. And so I'm going to plug David Clemens recovery nuggets podcast. That was my very first. And David is awesome. He is doing such a wonderful job. All aspects of addiction to his podcast. Anyway, I covered the very early days there and a lot of this story, we're just going over now. So rather than repeating all of that, and I'll just refer people to a recovery nuggets podcast, it's on my link tree and my bio and a lot of. You know, the, the steps that I took from the very beginning and the resources I used. And then recently I had the honor and privilege of guesting with Krista living sober, and I kind of went a little bit more into the story and just kind of followed my crown Cron a lot. Anyway, my timeline. Deb: I get what you're saying. Yeah. Lynn: Yeah. And so that brings me to here and where I'm going now, because it's been, it's really been amazing, you know, it didn't take long for the, for the darkness to lift and the sun to come in and it's. A lot of work on self. I think like a lot of people with addiction issues there are a lot of self-worth issues. Self-esteem certainly by the end there there's a lot of shame and guilt and just ugliness wrapped up in all of that. But then once I started moving along and using these resources and that's what I got them on the link tree, and I really want to encourage people to, you know, listen to podcasts like this and to check out those resources because, and to find your tribe, you know, to find your people because that's going to change your heart, that's going to change your mindset. That's going to change the. And that's what's happened to me Deb: is yeah, I can tell. I mean, you just look so happy and glowing and Lynn: thank you. Deb: So you had mentioned before that you're doing the path. Yes. Can you speak a little bit about that and why you chose that and just share what that is all about? Yeah, Lynn: absolutely. I love talking about Annie. Okay. I think grace is totally awesome. She is, she was the very first interaction I had with how to become alcohol free. I started with her, the alcohol experiment journal, highly recommend it. It's what I loved about it and why I chose it in the very beginning. What side? Once I admitted to myself, I had a problem. I had to do something about it. I did like everybody did. I guess I went to Google alcohol treatment, alcohol therapy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I found a bunch of good stuff. But what I found that was just a gym, was the alcohol experiment journal. And I thought, well, this is perfect. It's going to give me some information about alcohol. And I've been talking about journaling for a long time. It's got a built in journal. So that's what I did was it's 30 days. It's an experiment as the name says, and you go into it with the idea of I'm just going to take a break and see what difference it makes model. And it's a beautiful thing. So I did the journal. I did the free alcohol experiment, which is basically the same thing, but with daily videos that are sent to your email and it has the opportunity to journal there. Then I did the live alcoholic experiment three times. That's what really turned me on to they have live. Okay. Every day and those coaches it's group, this group therapy is what it is. And they're sharing a lot of information, a lot of facts about what alcohol really is and what it does in your body and how we respond to it and how to get out of it, how to bring it. And in seeing these coaches, the coaches have gone through training. Annie has different programs have gone through training and they have very diverse backgrounds. Some come from Being therapist or one's a MD one zero yoga instructor. One would travel the world, teaching English as a second language, very diverse backgrounds, but all very much focused on, well, I'm just going to go there the spiritual side of life, you know, and that is a big part of it. So seeing these people and seeing. Equanimity they had and their persona, their presence, their bearing. It's like, I want that. I want that along the way. And I talked about that with Krista living sober, you know, I w I've gone through therapy, I've gone through counseling with our pastor and. I've done those things and that's been so, so helpful at, you know, repairing family relationships and self worth and whatnot, but the path, what it is is it's it's to me, it's the next step forward is the next right step because it's actually one full year of daily coaching. And these coaches there's two sessions a day. One session is an hour. What they call laser coaching and they open it up. It's on zoom. So everybody's attending live. You can see the other participants, or you can not put yourself up there if you don't want to. And typically in that hour, the coach will have time for five or six kind of in depth sessions. People who are asking questions or struggling or whatever. And you know what? I never thought I would like group therapy. And I have to say it's very, it can be very painful at times because people are so vulnerable and. Sharing deep, dark secrets that normally we wouldn't do. But it's so empowering and uplifting and it's beautiful, you know, and it's in the coaches kinda helping you to see what your next right step is, you know? They never tell you what to do. They never even suggest what to do or, you know, they just will share in their experience and their background. Learned and the, just the act of saying some things out loud, you know, it's just, that is just so liberating and powerful. And so I'm on. Yeah, I just started in February. So this is the third month. The first three months are focused. Cause most of the folks that joined the path have not quit drinking. Okay. And that's one of the things that's really unusual about the path is they don't, they don't encourage you to quit drinking. They don't demand that you quit drinking. Their attitude is, you know, you're in a tough enough spot right now. You just got to make it harder on yourself. Beating yourself up over drinking, not drinking. Did I drink too much? So let's just, don't worry about that right now. Let's just educate ourselves. Let's just learn about alcohol. Let's just learn about why we do the things we do when we're drinking, because there are very definite biochemical reasons that we do. Some of the crazy stuff we do. And so that's the first three months, and then the last nine months are all about personal development, spiritual growth becoming your best self. And they just are loaded with resources and tips and tricks. Wisdom. And so, oh, so that was the one coaching session. The other coaching session is 30 minutes of Q and a. And so those are more that is. Done and like a chat, like in Facebook kind of chat thing where we just can type in questions and then the coach will respond to that. So it's not the personal face-to-face back and forth. Yeah. And then every day there are also lessons that you access. And then they have a whole library of resources and whatnot. So for me, it's being part of a community that is moving forward a community that's open-minded and growing and learning and helping. And I just love it. It's. I'm not say it's vital to buy continued progress, but I sure wouldn't want to do it without it. Yeah. And I've come to learn, you know, therapy is mostly backwards looking right. And that's kind of trying to figure out how we got to where we are and all of this and what to do about it. And it has its place depth. But coaching coaching is not something I've been in your coach. I've not been involved with before. And that really appeals to me. I think I've always been a searcher, a seeker. My values test learning is one of my highest values. So yeah, it's it. And I love it. Black is great right now. I wouldn't change it for anything, you know when it comes down to it, if that's what it took to get to where I am now, then I'm grateful. I'm grateful for that. Deb: Yeah. It's so interesting. And it's so like transforming. Just changing your life. Like you have it's such a major transformation for people who, who give up drinking. Lynn: Yeah. And that's a key point, Deb. You know, we talk about giving up drinking, but we don't do enough talking about what we get. Yes. Drinking. I get to go out. I love live music. I get to go out in the evening. And listen to live music anytime I want, because I'm not passed out. I get to go to the Y and work out because I can trust myself to drive. You know, I get to wake up hangover free every day, you know, I get Grilli. The relationship with my family is, you know, I've always thought we had a good relationship, but obviously I was not doing any favors with the way I was drinking and behaving. So I get to have my family back and then the love and support in my family. I mean, I just get so many blessings that, yeah, I'm just very grateful. I never knew that that would be. The outcome. And so I would encourage people to focus on well, and this is kind of a, a recovery nugget. I think I shared focus on gratitude. First of all, that was one of the first things that really helped me just every day. And my notes on my phone at the end of the day, just, you know, four or five things that happened that day that I was grateful for. And just kind of kept going. And as you do that, Your your mind and heart opens up more and more and blessings start flowing towards you. I mean, the opportunity to host or guest on a podcast. That's not anything I ever dreamed of, you know, and I, I love it. I love the opportunity to meet beautiful people like you and spread the word you going to spread the word that there is no. Outside of alcohol, there is beautiful life outside of alcohol. So, Deb: so well said so well said, well, what would you say? If anyone's listening right now and maybe they're a grandma and they're wondering, gosh, what should I do? Or how can I change or, or, you know, if they're just listening, what would you say to them? Lynn: I would say act, you know, because if they're listening, then they're aware and all change happens on the other side of awareness that that's Annie grace, right there all change happens on the other side of awareness. So once you're aware you've got a choice, you've got a choice. You can do nothing and continue on and you can look back and see where that's gotten you, or you can change. And to change, you're going to have to do something you're going to have to act now what that looks like for you, for the listener. I don't know, you know, because there's so many things you can do, but the first thing I would recommend you do, or suggest that you do is start looking, go online and start looking for what appeals to you. A lot of people a N a, the 12 steps that saved their life. I want a different route. I went with the Annie grace and the alcoholic experiment. There's smart recovery. There are a lot of options out there that don't require you going to a meeting and standing up and saying, my name is Lynn, and I'm an alcoholic. I'll tell you that kept me stuck for a long time, because I was not about to do that. I did not want to do. I eventually did. I did go to a couple of AA meetings and I just, and I got the big book and I've read it and there's a lot of wisdom in there, but it just wasn't the path for me. And so that's what I'm saying. There's no one size fits all, you know, find what. Speaks to you. Fine. What lights a spark, just even a teeny, tiny little, maybe, maybe there's a way out then go towards it, go towards it. And so with that, If I'm writing several keys and they all start with C for some strange reason. So the first one is to get curious, and that's what we're talking about here. Get really curious of why am I here? How can I get out? You know, what are the resources? What are the ways so get curious and start digging into it. Don't just, don't just stay stuck in your mind. Swirling around. I actually do something, do something to move forward. I'm so curious. And part of that, doing something is the next seek community community. Find your tribe. The Instagram alcohol free, just go to Instagram type in sober. Type in alcohol free, you're gonna have more support and more friends than you would believe. Good brands, people who, you know, if you don't show up for a couple of days, they're direct messenger. Are you okay? You know, I haven't seen you in a couple of days and that is just so having that community like I said, my husband loves me dearly and has been very supportive. I love him dearly. But he doesn't give me. He doesn't get the addiction part of me. And it really, it really helps to bind those people who do, because then I have felt free to say things that I wouldn't say before to admit things. And I get that reaction you're doing right now, but nodding the head, like, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. Tell me more so community. The next C is compassion a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of compassion for myself. And then to the listener, a lot of compassion for yourself because I'm worthy, you know, I deserve to be happy. I deserve to love myself. I deserve to forgive myself and you know what? Those were very, very hard things, too. It was a hard to ride at to where I can say those things out loud, because I didn't feel that way for pretty much all my life, you know, for various reasons, even though externally, I seemed appeared successful, you know? Honor student all through high school and college. I had a responsible position with the university of Florida, you know, nice home family. But I still didn't feel what were they and I, you know, and that's still got work to do on that. Cause I couldn't tell you exactly where it comes from, but I think it's a common denominator to a lot of us. What the diction. And so it's, it's working on those things and having compassion for yourself because my tendency was to beat myself up. There you go again, you said you weren't gonna drink and you did now you're drunk. I mean, there's no way to reverse it. You know, I mean, just beating myself, blaming myself and the shame and losing self respect. And like I said, I couldn't trust myself. It's hard. It's hard to believe, but that's true. That's exactly where I was. And so I would say to people have compassion, you know, it's not, once you become aware and once you make a decision, you're going to change. It's not like flipping a switch. It's not like on, you know, Deb: you wish it was though, Lynn: right? Yeah. But it's not. And if you think it is, then you're just setting yourself up to fail because yeah, it's, it's been not quite 11 months, but it's 11, 11 months of a lot of reading, a lot of podcasts. A lot of reflection, a lot of journaling, I mean a lot of therapy. There's, there's a lot that goes into it. But it's so worth it. Oh man. Yeah. Again, I'm, I'm grateful that this all happened so I can be where I am and I, I want that for others. That's, you know, I often say my jam, that the thing that makes me the most happy is spreading love and. And pixie dust and pixie dust sex. It's just the overflow of gratitude, you know? So, you know, that's, that's what I'm doing. That's, that's my mission. That's my purpose. And the saying that when I first went to my pastor, I says, you know, I just feel a really strong calling. You know, that there's something God is wanting me to do. There's something God is calling me to do. And now I feel like I've found my. And so it's like, okay, now I know what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to spread love and hope and pixie desk. How am I going to be doing this endorse? Keep opening. You had a podcast. One of my friends on Instagram gifted me is coming up this next weekend a weekend at she recovers. That's right? Yeah. Three-day conference in Miami and I am so excited about that. Another friend gifted me with some quick books, you know, she put it on her Instagram, anybody want those? I haven't read any of them. Okay. They're yours, you know? And I said, oh, let me know how much I'll reimburse you. Oh no, this is my gift. Pay it forward. So that's, that's the kind of community. Yeah. So that's Deb: helpful. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what do you see for your future? Lynn: Well, I see, I see learning how to wait. That means all my life. I've been a plan. Your work, work, your plan kind of person. It's like, okay, this is what I want to do. And this is how, you know, begin with the end in sight and work backwards to figure out how to do it. I've always been figure out my goal, figure out how I'm going to get there. Have a plan all nailed down and then start working it. Right. That's that's how I've always done. Now I'm learning the next right step, you know, be open. I pray for guidance. I pray for, okay, here I am. You know, give me the strength, show me what to do, give me the resources and let's do this thing. And so that's kind of how. Very weird for me. It's unsettling to not know really what's next, but I do know whatever's next is going to be awesome. And Deb: so absolutely. Yeah. That's very kind of Zion and just living in the present moment. Lynn: Yes. Yeah. Very much. So Eckhart Tolle a, are you familiar with this? Yes. Yeah. So I mean, things like that. So there's a lot of reading going on in the background or, you know, Yeah. It's, it's not, it's not all alcohol. Quit lit. It's a lot of philosophy, a lot of spirituality a lot of leadership And so that's, that's what we do. And then we go and hang out at the beach, you know, recharge the batteries. That's our happy place. We are fortunate enough to live, you know, close to the beach. So when on Sunday we look at the next week's weather report and we go, okay, this day, on that day, we're going to the beach. And then we work the rest, you know, being retired. We had the luxury of doing that and then we work everything else around it. Hello. Yeah. I mean, almost to the point, not quite, but almost to the point of, oh, I've got a doctor's appointment that day. Maybe I'll need to rescale. No. Now I'll be responding to the doctor's appointment, but yeah. Deb: Well, good. I mean, it just sounds like you're just enjoying life, enjoying the moments. I mean, things are going well for you. And I just it's, it's wonderful to see, and I'm so glad that we connected Lynn: me too. Damn, me too. And I help out this all help your group of ladies there near retirees, because that's exactly what I'm speaking to you. I mean, I realize, you know, when I say these kinds of things, We raised four children. When they were little, the oldest was nine and the youngest was a newborn. So had four kids nine and under. So I know working, you know, at that time I was working part-time but still working. I know the craziness. I know the, no matter what I was doing, I felt like I should be doing something else. So I always felt Nat. I always felt overwhelmed. I always felt almost helpless. I always. I didn't always go, but there were times I felt like I wanted to run away, you know, so I get that. So I don't want people to think, well, yeah, she's got me, she's retired, she's got, you know, build her life the way she can. Yeah. Yeah. But I did all that other stuff to get here and I know, you know, y'all are going through that. You know, people are going through that too. And Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and have hope and find your community connect connection is the opposite of addiction, by the way, you know, it's get connected. Deb: Yeah. It's so helpful. And just because I don't know about you, but like I felt so alone. And I didn't fit into the traditional AA community. So like you said, it finding your group, your tribe was so helpful. Lynn: Yes, absolutely. And yes, I did feel so alone there at the end. So lonely, hopeless, you know, lost, and that's still very, you know, the longer you go along. What do they call it? Fading effect bias. The things that were ugly in the past start see me not so bad, but I still can pretty much recall emotionally, spiritually, mentally, where I was at that point. And I know for sure, I don't want to go back. I know that for sure. Deb: Yeah, here, you're going forward. I'm going forward. You're on a road trip. That's right. The roads of life. Lynn: Exactly. And I love that. I love that metaphor and I hope people will you know, that'll resonate and you know, someone out there is going to decide, well, I can have my own daily adventures. Yeah. I can have my own road trip. Yes, you can do it. Deb: Absolutely. Well, Lynn, how can people find you? Lynn: Okay. I'm on Instagram at the sober grandma road trip. I'd love to have you join and follow along. And if somebody is really interested in what a journey looks like from almost day one, they can go back to my very first post. I mean, a lot of the first posts are going to be a travel log, which is nice, but a lot of them I'm going to be sharing, you know, about. Overcoming that feeling of worthlessness, overcoming the shame and guilt overcoming a lot of overcoming and the first post. And so you can, if someone is interested and has the time they could follow right along to see what else. Deb: In that so helpful. And I will link in the show notes to your Instagram and I'll put your link tree link up there too. And so that people can find some of those podcasts and I'll link to the alcohol experiment as well. Cause it is that, that's how I got started as well on it. It's so helpful. So really. Yes. And you know Lynn: what? We just finished on audible. My husband's alcohol free now, too. He started about five months after I did. Yeah. But we've been listening to William Porter's alcoholics Nate. Oh my gosh. You know, I think I'm glad I didn't hear that early on. I think that would have scared the socks off of me, you know? But I think it's so important. I think that is a must read or a must listen for anybody. So I just added it to the link tree this morning. Deb: Okay. Yeah. Lynn: Yeah. Deb: So lots of resources, lots of help. That that's so wonderful. I am so proud of you and proud to know you. And thank you. So nine come to Florida, Lynn: come and visit you, or maybe I'll be the Idaho first Deb: who knows? Yes. Yes, definitely. Well, I really appreciate you taking the time to come on the show and I'm sure positive. This is going to resonate with other people. So very, very grateful for you. Lynn: Well, thank you. And I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for this opportunity. I'm grateful for this life. Yeah, me Deb: too. What a good, what a good way to end it. So I just want to thank our listeners for taking the time to listen. Thank Lynn for coming on the show. If our audio was a little off that's because this is my first recording at my home studio. I'm doing this all on my own. So thank you for listening, please. This show like it, subscribe, rate it, review it. That just helps it grow and helps us help other people. So thank you everyone. I'll talk to you next. Lynn: Ah, thank you. Bye bye.