Episode Transcript
[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. I'm your host, Deb Maisner. I'm a registered nurse, health coach and alcohol free badass. I have found that there's more than one way to address drinking. If you've ever asked yourself if drinking is taking more than it's giving, or if you found that you're drinking more than usual, you may have reached your own alcohol Tipping point. The Alcohol Tipping Point is a podcast for you to find tips, tools and thoughts to change your drinking. Whether you're ready to quit forever or a week, the is the place for you. You are not stuck and you can change.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: Let's get started.
[00:00:45] Speaker A: Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for listening. I really appreciate you. I want to take a sec to invite you to the next Alcohol a Day. It's a monthly dry group where I help people practice not drinking. This is for you if you feel like you're struggling, if you feel like you're stuck, if you feel like you're broken, you're never going to get it. I want to just support you and arm you with lots of different tools to battle cravings.
Work on your thinking about drinking. Be more kind and compassionate to yourself as you're doing this. You know drinking is a habit and it's probably something you've done for years or decades. Even so it takes a while to unwind it. And that's why I'm so passionate about focusing on practicing not drinking. Working on progress, not perfection. I love the saying focus on the direction, not perfection. And I think it's important just to have these types of groups programs that just give you a safe place that has no shame, no judgment. A safe place where you can just learn new tools and just start unwinding the habit so that it gets easier and easier for you to drink less or not at all. I would, I would love to have you join the next Alcohol a Day. It starts the first of every month. As a podcast listener, you always get 20% off by using the code LOVE L O V E and it is hosted on a private platform. It is a HIPAA protected platform. It's really important to me as a nurse just to have privacy in a safe place for you. And what you get is daily emails, lessons, accountability. You get lots and lots of tools to battle cravings. You get a really detailed guidebook journal to help you out during those 30 days, 31 days, whatever the length of the month is. And then you get downloadable audio meditations, just something go to when you're feeling a craving. We also do weekly group chats, weekly group support calls led by me and another sober coach twice a week. And then there's also a private chat where you can just share with others, support others and it's just a great place to practice not drinking. The cost is $89 US dollars. That is so it's less than $3 a day. Plus use that L O V E code to get your discount. And just a little background on me. I have been a registered nurse for 20 years. I'm a board certified health coach. I'm a smart recovery certified facilitator, an addiction certified mental health Prof. Professional. I'm a mindfulness instructor. And then you all know I like to call myself an alcohol free badass. I've been alcohol free for four and a half years now. So I would love to see you in the next group. You can sign up@alcohol tippingpoint.com alcoholiday and join there. I also will link it in my show notes. Wherever you are with your drinking journey, just know that I am rooting for you, that you are not broken and you can change. Thanks so much.
[00:04:16] Speaker B: Welcome back to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. I am so excited to have my Boston best see on the show today.
Today is Carol Cunningham. Like I said, she is from Boston. She is an artist and a crafter, a wife of a retired firefighter, a mom of four boys and an alcohol free badass. I first met Carol when she joined the February Alcohol a day in 2022. I had to look that up Carol and she has just been rocking it. She's been alcohol free since May of 2022 and she's been such an inspiration and it's been amazing getting to know you Carol and seeing your journey, seeing you grow and just getting to be friends with you. We've gotten that chance to meet in real life three times now. We've done three retreats together starting in Seattle and then in Maine and then in Utah just in October. And I was delighted when Carol said okay, I'm ready to share my story for the podcast which is super, super brave. So thank you Carol. Thanks for being here.
[00:05:25] Speaker C: Thanks for having me.
Yay.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: Well, do you want to start with like what, what your experience with drinking was like, how you unwound it, where to begin?
[00:05:40] Speaker C: Sure. Yes.
I would say that my relationship with alcohol started feel it fairly early. I think I was probably 15 or so, but it wasn't anything too much out of the ordinary. I would just drink with friends at parties, wasn't out of control and same as I aged and I was in college, you know, there would be binge drinking. We were definitely fond of drinking. We definitely thought it was fun and just did it with my friends, and it was just sort of, you know, normal, I guess you would say. I didn't think about it any other time, you know, just when I was out socializing or partying with friends.
And I got married, had my kids. I got married at 26, and it was never anything we had at home. My husband and I didn't drink at home while raising my kids. It wasn't an issue. It wasn't the mommy wine culture like it is today. You know, I had my first baby in 1993 and then my last in 1999. So I would say that whole mommy wine culture wasn't an issue. I would say it got to be a problem for me probably in my late 40s, about maybe 2012. And my kids were growing. They were teenagers. I'm a warrior, you know, by nature. I have had anxiety and depression pretty much my whole life. Nothing too severe, debilitating. I take medication and, you know, I've gotten a handle on it. But when you're anxious person, I think drinking is definitely appealing to you because, you know, it kind of just calms you down right away. So my kids were teenagers. They'd be out and about and I'd get a little worried. I was starting into menopause. That's another thing that can really messed you up.
So I did kind of start leaning into it more, drinking more at home.
Before I went out for like a party, I would drink beforehand.
And so it just became. I was becoming too dependent upon it, and I realized that. But I kept thinking, oh, I could just stop it anytime I wanted to, you know, and whenever I would try to, I would go like three days without having any wine at home, and I'd be like, oh, yeah, I made three days. So now let's go out and get your wine. So I didn't really cons, you know, that's the other thing. You label. You have all these labels. So I didn't think. I'm not an alcoholic. I'm, you know, I have a job, I have a successful marriage. I haven't had a dui. I'm not any of these labels that would need to stop drinking or just, you know, abstain completely from alcohol. But I had a couple of falls while drinking, and that was very. Just humiliating, embarrassing. I would black out, not remember things, and it's just a terrible feeling, you know, I felt a lot of shame. And then the falls worried me. You know, I could really get hurt. I could really hurt myself.
So it kind of all came to a head when in 2021, my sister had rented a house for us, our whole family to stay at Martha's Vineyard.
And so vacations, that's all bets are off. You know, you drink during the day, you don't wait till 5 o'clock at night. So I was drinking a lot and I just felt terrible. I felt so sick the next day. You know, couldn't remember, things was shaky and I almost thought I was hearing voices, you know, it, it was just, I knew something had to change and I signed up for a 30 day. Oh, my other thing was I never want to spend any money on like, you know, going to rehab or any kind of program that would be, you know, that costs money, it doesn't matter. You're spending all this money on wine every night.
[00:10:41] Speaker B: Right.
[00:10:41] Speaker C: But so I had signed up for a 30 day online course and I did learn a lot. I, it was a good education for me. It was very science based and I tried, after the 30 days was done, I tried to moderate and it just went, you know, horribly wrong. And I, I had, you know, probably the worst fall ever.
And I just was really afraid this was going to just take me out and that would just be tragic and horrible for everybody, you know, my family. And then I found you somehow and through, you know, social media, you kind of, once you join one sober or staff owning one silver platform, you kind of are led to a lot of other ones and bound alcohol tipping point and you and your group. And I thought I would give it a try.
And it's been hugely important to me and it has made all the difference because you, your approach was just so refreshing to practice. Not drinking was just such a great idea. You know, I had never thought of that I could practice no drinking and each taught me to, you know, just be kind to myself and give myself grace. And if I did drink, I would just get back at it. I wouldn't beat myself up, which, you know, I had never considered before. I would always just beat myself up. That is what I was good at. I just would just be so hard on myself and blame myself and look at myself as a weak loser to call another gal that's on social media.
And so that was really what turned it around for me is being nice to myself and not giving up, not just throwing in the towel if I had a drink. So that's pretty much all of it.
[00:13:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you for sharing about your experience growing up and how it wasn't really a problem until later.
And I remember you talking about the falls before and how scary that must have been.
[00:13:22] Speaker C: Yeah, I had the last fall.
I mean, I laugh because I'm so. It's cringe worthy, but I fell on my cement driveway and I guess my husband said I didn't even put my hands out, obviously. And I had floaters in my eyes that I think pretty much probably from the fall. I don't really think they were there before.
And that was so scary, you know, and they still, they're still actually there, but you get used to them. They couldn't definitively tell me if it was from the fall, but again, it's just, you know, as we say a lot in this space, you play the tape forward and you know, alcohol is. Or people that drink alcohol or, you know, alcohol dependency, it just gets progressively worse. So I mean, I could just see where it was going and wasn't anywhere good. So.
But you know, it's scary to make a change, especially a change that big because it's everywhere. And how would I socialize with my friends? Would. Would my friends want to hang out with me anymore? And it's a very scary idea.
[00:14:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. At the time. Right. And then do you look back on it now, like, what was I so scared of on the other side of giving up alcohol?
[00:14:55] Speaker C: I. I mean, I do, I do. Because it's just a beverage. It's just something in your glass. It's not. And most people don't notice. Most people don't care.
But at first, you know, people are like, why? You know, it. It. You have to put up with that kind of reaction.
What do you mean? I have no drink? You know, we always air my drinking pet. You're a drinking buddy to a lot of people.
Two or a lot of socializing is.
Involves drinking.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:15:35] Speaker C: Most things do involve drinking.
[00:15:38] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, the fear is more about other people. What are they going to think of me and how. How am I going to show up? What are my relationships going to be like? I want to go back to. So when you first started, like, really evaluating your relationship with alcohol and taking a break, starting with that experiment in 2021 and then joining the February alcohol a day in 2022, what's your. Were you done with alcohol then or were you still kind of like, oh, I'm gonna take a break. I'm gonna see, like, when did you get to the point where you were like, you know what? I think I'VE had enough to drink.
[00:16:17] Speaker A: I'm done.
[00:16:19] Speaker C: Well, I think I really wanted to drink without consequences, you know, but the more I learned and I thought about myself and how it progressed, and I. There was a time, but I guess it was a really long time ago, that I could just have one glass of wine. But then I thought to the more recent past, and I never could have just one glass of wine. So, you know, I thought about it and all the reading I did, and it. I basically just learned that it would be so much easier for me and my brain and my chemistry to just not have any at all. Because that moderating thing is very tricky for. For someone that has got to my point with the amount of alcohol I had drank. You know, it's just another thing I like to say is you can't put the toothpaste back inside the tube.
So.
And then I was approaching, you know, now I was in my late 50s and I was approaching 60, and I thought, I. Why do I need to drink anymore? I don't really need to do this. I've done a lot of this, and in the last. A few years, it wasn't good.
So that's when, you know, I. The way. And the way I started decreasing was I would drink fewer days each month. And I liked that. I liked looking back at the percentage of days, you know, that I didn't drink because it was every day. I was a daily drinker.
And so as the percentages went up, the better I felt. I had also started having some health complications, and I knew it was from alcohol. My blood pressure had gone up, and I had always had very, very low blood pressure. My cholesterol, I was told I had a fatty liver, and we knew it was from alcohol. I was honest with my physician, which most people aren't, about how much I drank. So I felt better. The more. The further away from it I got, the better I felt, and the more. The longer I was sober, the more I wanted it. And I just felt there was no need to mess with it anymore.
[00:19:08] Speaker B: Yeah, I just love hearing your story and your experience and having been with you through those months and, I mean, still being with you in these groups and whatnot. But, like, I remember, you know, February, March, April, May. Like, it didn't really stick for a while, but you kept coming back. You kept showing up for yourself. You were practicing not drinking, like you said, and you were really changing your thinking and your approach and how you talk to yourself. Like, that was such a huge shift and so wonderful to watch.
[00:19:44] Speaker C: Huge, huge Huge. It's because of you.
Because of you and the ATP. Yeah, Well, I never, it never hurts me to be kind to myself.
[00:19:57] Speaker B: I.
[00:19:57] Speaker C: Everybody else.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Right, right. And it's, it's so common, too. It's so, so common. That's, that's why I just feel like it's a message that we have to reiterate again and again, like, yeah, this is hard and you can do hard things and you beating ourselves up about drinking or anything, we're changing. It just doesn't work.
[00:20:20] Speaker C: It doesn't work. It doesn't work. It doesn't help one bit. It doesn't help at all. And the whole labeling, I said I don't have to label myself. I don't have to call myself an alcoholic. You know, from where I'm, you know, my generation or whatever, family, people in my family, it was always, there's the alcoholics and then there's everybody else. Well, that, that isn't the way it is. There's a spectrum, you know, with alcohol use disorder, I, and I learned that I was, you know, I was not on the really high, high end of the spectrum, but I always get in there. And you just, if, if it doesn't serve you, then you don't have to use those labels or the language that we used for so long with, you know, people that are alcoholics. It's the blame is put on the person, not the substance. So.
[00:21:30] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. So what do you think were some of the more helpful things that helped you? You know, you, you talked about the self compassion, changing your labels, being part of the community. Like, can you elaborate on what else helped you get to where you are?
[00:21:49] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm definitely educating myself on alcohol and what it is. I read a lot of the Quitlet, and if you read about alcohol and what it does to you, what it does to your body and your brain, you know, the whole chemistry physiology of how it affects you.
It is bad. It's just. It's a drug.
It's. You know what? It's the other thing we always say. It fucks your shit up. Alcohol fucks your shit up.
[00:22:27] Speaker B: Can I swear that's what you say? Yes. Yes, it does.
[00:22:32] Speaker C: So I think that that is something that you can't unlearn. You know, it's. It's a legal and socially accepted and socially pushed drug. You know what I mean?
You know what I mean? That's the other thing we always say, like, if someone said, oh, I gave up crack, you know, you wouldn't be like, well, why?
[00:22:55] Speaker B: Totally.
[00:22:56] Speaker C: Well, why it's so much fun when we all do crack together. So I think when I educated myself to what it really is and what it really does, that was a huge shift in my mindset. And I really don't think you can stop unless you have that change in your mind, you know, I don't, like, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.
I. I feel like it's a gift. I feel like I'm not deprived, you know, at all. And I. If you had ever told me I would feel that way, I wouldn't probably have believed you. But I feel like this is a gift that I gave myself and my family and it's, you know, educating yourself, the podcasts, the books community, like I said, our group is. Has been just absolutely so important in my, you know, kicking the habit.
[00:23:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Had you ever done a group or anything like this before?
[00:24:02] Speaker C: No. I had gone to a couple of AA meetings and. Because that was really the only thing that I could think of, you know, and it just didn't. It really didn't hit well. It didn't click with me. I didn't feel good when I was there and I didn't feel good when I left. I just felt sad. I felt kind of more shame, I think. I didn't really feel the people were very nice. People always came up to me and gave me their phone numbers.
But it's just a different kind of philosophy than, you know, what's out there now with kind of you and others like you, you know?
[00:24:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, I agree. I just, I. The online thing and joining these kind of zoom meetings is so different and it seems like it would be impersonal, but it is so personal. The connections that we've made and the friends that we've made throughout the years, really, you know, I was talking about the retreats we've gone on and just like seeing your people, people who get you in real life, it's. It's just been really cool.
[00:25:22] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, it's been amazing. It's just been, you know, the greatest, you know, like, you know, that was the other thing. When you give up drinking, you think that you're giving up so much. You just think of what you're losing out on. But with me, I've gained so much, you know, that that's a huge, beautiful surprise to me is. I mean, I gain more self confidence and self love and I can depend on myself, my family can depend on me. But also, you know, the friendships and, you know, the retreats, it just has been so wonderful. It's just been, it's been amazing.
And then, you know that. No, go ahead.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: Oh, I, Well, I was just going to say, like, are those some of the most surprising things about being alcohol free?
[00:26:29] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, yeah, it's so surprising to me that I've just been able to like open myself up to all this, all these new experiences and new friendships and you know, I've allowed that in. I've allowed myself to really just feel good about myself and not, you know, that, you know, back to the anxiety. You know, when you drink, you have the hangover, you have that enormous anxiety.
And so I don't have any of that anymore. You know, I'm pretty consistently peaceful in my, in my moods and day to day life, so it's fabulous. Why wouldn't I want, you know.
[00:27:22] Speaker B: Yeah, it's so counterintuitive because you were talking about your anxiety and that was what you were drinking at. Like, oh, I'm anxious. This helps me feel better. And then when you realize like, oh, the alcohol is actually contributing to my anxiety, once I remove it, I'm not nearly as anxious.
[00:27:43] Speaker C: Yeah. And I've learned that too. It's like pouring gasoline on flame. You know, it's a depressant and you know, the further away you get from it, you can see and feel how, how good it is to not have, not be ingesting it.
And like I said, it just made me want more and more and more. Like the further away from it I got. I don't want to go back there.
Want to go back.
[00:28:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It made you want more and more sobriety.
[00:28:16] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
[00:28:19] Speaker B: What do you think were some of the hardest things about giving up alcohol?
[00:28:25] Speaker C: I think probably just learning to socialize and be around people that are drinking.
You know, at first you feel kind of like a fish out of water.
You would normally just be having what they have, but I just would have an alcohol free beer or wine maybe at first and then I would still feel like I'm part of the group when eventually once you do it a few times, it gets less weird.
And now I just will have a diet coke or just, you know, club soda, cranberry juice or whatever. And also I think trying to find other events to do with people that aren't alcohol centered.
Like if you want to, if you're away, say I'm away with my family and they, you know, let's go to the bar. You know, I'll try to think of something different to do let's go for a hike, let's go for a walk, let's you know, play a game.
I try to come up with non alcohol things to do.
[00:29:48] Speaker B: Totally, totally. And what has your family and friends, what has their response been to this New Carolina?
[00:29:57] Speaker C: A lot of people have just, you know, you know, I, I have this very good couple that Mark and I have known for years and they both were kind of, oh well, why? You know, they, they weren't questioning me, but I think they were kind of like thinking, well, this is going to be different and this isn't what we're used to.
And then we were away for weekend this past summer and both of them said to me separately how happy I seem. The man said, I Carol, your eyes are so bright. He said, I've known you for a long time and you're just, you're, you look great.
And it just meant so much to me that they both noticed this positive change in me and they were both really happy for me.
And yeah, overall my husband's really happy and proud of me. And I think people have just noticed a lot from my face and appearance. I think I was pretty bloated and not, you know, probably just kind of dull or you know, sad looking, I don't know. But you know, I think people are like, my close friends are proud of me.
[00:31:26] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are some of the other things that are different about your life now that you've been alcohol free this long? And you mentioned your health before, how you were starting to see high blood pressure, high cholesterol, fatty liver.
What, what are some of the changes that you've made that you can see mentally and physically?
[00:31:49] Speaker C: Yeah, my health is, is great now. It's fine. I've lost, I, I think I lost like 15 pounds since I stopped drinking, which is, it wasn't a problem. I wasn't overweight. But it, it doesn't hurt to lose, you know, excess.
So that's good. And all my numbers are good now. My blood pressure is back to being very low.
I sleep great. I like, I sleep like a rock and it's wonderful.
And yeah, I just am very present, you know, I can be there for anybody anytime. Like if, you know, it doesn't have to be before 5:00 so I can go out at night without worrying, you know, then I have to drive. And just the other thing is being at events, I would always think I was drunk at the end of the night and I couldn't really remember things. Oh, everybody was probably drunk. We were all drunk. People have said to me, oh, we were all drunk. Well, not everybody's drunk. Like, I. Now that I am aware. From one. From the beginning to the end of the event, I look around and there's hardly anybody drunk. So it was me, maybe one other person, but, you know. So that's kind of enlightening.
You know, not everybody drank to the extent that I drank.
And it's just all. It's just all been positive, really. I can't think of one bad thing about giving up drinking that's so amazing.
[00:33:43] Speaker B: I mean, that's alcohol freedom, right? When. When you have gotten to the point where you're like, I don't even want it. Like, this has all been such a positive change. I don't need it. I don't want to go back there. But it's really hard to get there.
[00:33:59] Speaker C: It is. It is. And, you know, I don't have any of that mental chatter about, will I have a drink? Won't I have a drink? How many drinks have I had? I only had one drink last night. I only had. I don't have any of that anymore. That is so liberating.
You know, it's. I don't have to even consider any of that. Or drive by the stores. I used to be like, they're still open. I can still get wine there before I go home. Or it was always where I was going to get the wine that night. And then I wouldn't want to have a ton of it in the house. I would just get the one, you know, bottle.
Or I tried to get a smaller little juice box once.
I don't need a whole bottle. I'll just have the little. But then I would say to Mark, can you go back? Can you all get me some?
[00:35:01] Speaker A: Oh, my God, me too.
[00:35:02] Speaker C: Me too.
[00:35:03] Speaker B: I couldn't keep alcohol around in the house, and it would always just be like, I'm just gonna get one. That's all I want. And then I always wanted more. Always more.
[00:35:12] Speaker C: Yeah. Always wanted more. Yeah.
[00:35:15] Speaker B: And going back to, like, that moderation and the exhaustion of thinking about drinking and all of that, you know, it's just like, I'd rather have none than 1 if one is how we, quote, unquote, moderate.
[00:35:31] Speaker C: And I have no doubt that it's. It's not like this for many people. I know many people that can have one and many people that don't think about it all the time or, you know, if they have one, they want more and more and more. You know, I know a lot of people that that's not the way they are, but that's fine. This is the way I am. You know, that's another thing. I think it's. It takes a lot to recognize that about yourself, you know, that you process it differently or you're having a harder time than maybe your friends or who. You know. I think that that's a huge step, too, is just realizing that this is the way it is for you.
So.
[00:36:28] Speaker B: Yeah. So that you stop comparing yourself to others, comparing yourself to the quote, unquote alcoholics, like you said, or the people that are just having one and they're not thinking about it all the time.
[00:36:41] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. So that was a big step, too. Just really recognizing the fact that, you know, this is the way it is for me, and that's okay. So what can I do about it?
[00:37:00] Speaker B: This is your thing. This is your shit pickle.
[00:37:04] Speaker C: This is like. This is space shit pickle.
Well, what would you say to, you.
[00:37:11] Speaker B: Know, those people who are feeling stuck, they're having a hard time getting momentum. They're just.
They know something's off with their drinking and they don't know what to do, where to begin. Like, what's some of your Carol Bastin wisdom?
[00:37:30] Speaker C: I would just say to start by educating yourself, and whether that's podcasts or books or just following people on social media and just.
Just seeing what works for other people. You know, there's not one size fits all you. And if it doesn't feel right, then don't do it. Just do whatever feels right for you, you know, and just don't throw in the towel if you have a drink. Like, just don't go back to day one. That's the other thing. When we did the counting, I have this many days when we did that, you know, you. We do the counting days, and then you say, oh, I had a drink. It's back to day one. Well, I didn't do that. Like, I. I was. I had my own way of doing it. I. I slipped.
I slipped a couple of times.
Not severely. Not what I would consider, you know, blackout or anything, but I felt like I'm not going back to day one. This doesn't undo everything that I've learned, everything that I've done. And so I kind of gave myself a three strikes and you're out kind of thing. Like, if I had done one more. Kind of one more drinking, then I would have gone back to day one. You know, I think I. I had three instances where I drank and I had felt bad about it afterwards, but I didn't go back to day one. I said, I, if I do it one more time, then I'll go back to. So you can make your own rules. And that worked for me, you know, so.
[00:39:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's part of being kind to yourself as you're changing your drinking too. Like, and that is such a good point. You don't have to go back to day one. You still have those days. You still learn from them. I kind of like that analogy. Like, you're building a wall between you and alcohol, and each day you don't drink, you're putting down a brick. And if you do drink on a date, you're not removing any bricks. You're still building that wall. You're still learning.
And it reminds me of, I love the saying, like, don't, don't let a slip become a slide.
So it's like, yeah, you're gonna have a slip, you're gonna have those as, as you're undoing this habit. Those are normal. We learn from them. And to your point, like, when we don't want it to become a slide and then you're back into every day. It's like, okay, let's catch ourselves before we get back into that other, that routine. So, yeah, the three strikes and you're back. I mean, there's so many different ways you can measure success, what that looks like. I think you also talked about percentages.
[00:40:38] Speaker C: Yeah. I would look back on the month and I would say, oh, I, you know, I, I drank this many. You know, at first it was a lot, but it wasn't every day. So that's what I kept saying to myself. Like, I drank, you know, however many times in March, and I would say, well, that's not great. But then I would look at the percentage and I would say, well, that's not bad. 55% I didn't drink, or 60% I didn't drink. Yeah. And then, as you know, it went up.
It was, I felt better about it and it started getting easier.
And again, I would say, well, I'm not drinking every day. You know, like, it was this.
If you go drinking every day to 50% or isn't that bad, you know, so I don't think that, you know, I, I would have had that outlook before joining the group. And. Yeah, and it is a habit. It's unwinding a habit. Like you said, you know, you come, you know, for me and for most people it was five o'clock, making dinner.
And at first it's hard, you know, at first it's hard. That's your go to thing, that's your friend. Wine was my friend, or I thought it was.
And you substitute something else for that and you get through it. And the more you do it, the more you can do it, you know. So now 5 o'clock comes and goes. I don't have any of those twitches, those feelings that I need a drink. So.
[00:42:27] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And it was a process of getting there. I think that's so important. And I think you're right. Like just drinking less should be applauded. You know, we tend to shame people into sobriety and it's like, you know what? Any amount that you're drinking less or reducing, even if your end goal is zero, like, let's applaud that. That's great. That is how you get to the, to this alcohol freedom.
[00:42:57] Speaker C: Right. And then as, as some people state, you know, you don't necessarily have to have a. You don't necessarily have to be a problem drinker to not drink alcohol.
It could just be something that you choose for whatever reason you want health, anything. You just. It doesn't mean that, you know, there's this big black cloud hanging over you because you don't drink alcohol, if that makes sense.
[00:43:33] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You don't have to have a problem with drinking to give up drinking. You can just give up drinking because it's shit for your health. That shit fucks you up. Is that what.
[00:43:44] Speaker C: Yeah, you know, and some people just have never drank. Some people have just never really had drink, you know, had the desire to drink. Or some people don't drink just because they don't drink.
[00:44:00] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. So again, like getting away from the labels, getting away from that, Just doing what's best for you.
[00:44:09] Speaker C: Yeah. Because it keeps people stuck. You know, I think that's what kept me stuck. I just wasn't. Am I, you know, am I bad enough that. Am I bad enough that I have to stop drinking altogether?
You know, so it's just a beverage in a glass.
[00:44:30] Speaker B: Yeah, that. Am I bad enough? One of the books we read, I can't remember if it was.
I can't remember who wrote it. Maybe someone else will remember. It might have been sober curious or something like that. But they were talking about if you're, if your kitchen's on fire, you're not going to wait for the whole house to catch on fire before you put it out. Right. And so sometimes your drinking can get to the point where your kitchen's on fire and it's time to put it out. We don't need to wait until the proverbial rock bottom. Like, it can just be that enough.
[00:45:08] Speaker C: I mean, I had this, you know, thought in my head, like, really, Carol, how many times do you have to fall down on your head to get this message that this is not working for you?
[00:45:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:45:22] Speaker C: You know, how many, how many black guys, bruised faces do you need? You know, it really, it's ridiculous.
If, if that's happening, then you shouldn't be doing it. You shouldn't, you can't, you know, and I, that's the other thing. I couldn't control it. I could not control it. So I had to give up. Like they do say in alcoholics, you kind of give up that, you know, not your power. But I realized that I couldn't control it, so I was not going to let it control me, you know?
[00:46:02] Speaker B: Yeah, it's the acceptance. It's, it's the, it's the acceptance. This is your thing. This will always be your thing unless you do something about it. And so taking responsibility for it is empowering.
[00:46:16] Speaker C: Right. And there's really no shame in that. And I think shame has been attached to people that over drink, you know, forever. So, you know, I like to see it as the shame part goes away and this is something that you're choosing to do that's a great thing, you know, and should be celebrated. Like you said, you know, such a great thing.
[00:46:46] Speaker B: We always talk about, like, yeah, we're alcohol free badasses, you know, like, proud about it. Like, this is such a gift you were talking about. Yeah, such a gift for you.
[00:46:58] Speaker C: It is. And, and I do feel like that now. I feel like, proud of it. You know, I don't drink and I don't preach to anyone else. It took me a long time to figure it out for myself.
And it's, you know, everyone has their own journey, their home, their own relationship with alcohol.
And I would be happy to.
That's why I'm doing this, because I do hope it helps someone that maybe isn't in a similar situation.
And.
But I wouldn't be preaching, you know, preachy to people that still like to drink because I used to love to drink.
[00:47:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You do have to come to this. Definitely. Definitely.
[00:47:56] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:47:58] Speaker B: Is there anything else you want to add that we haven't talked about yet that you wanted to get out there?
[00:48:04] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I just would say that, you know, if fear or any kind of self, you know, doubt or shame is, is stopping you, it's, it's worth the exploring. Looking into it.
And you know, I. Like I said, I've never regretted not drinking. I've never woken up without a hangover and been sad. You know, it's like waking up with a hangovers never gets old. Just never gets old. Feeling great to stay after an event or something. It's amazing. So, yeah, it's been a very, very positive change. And it's never too late. You know, you can start wherever you are, whatever age.
There's no limit on it. Time limit.
[00:49:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's well said. And I'm just, I am so proud of you. So glad that this shit pickle brought us together. And me too. To know you, I know, it just. It's so interesting. It just makes life better. And thank you for sharing your story, sharing it on the podcast.
Shout out to people who want to join the Alcohol A Day.
[00:49:30] Speaker C: Yes, it's the best place to be.
[00:49:33] Speaker B: Well, thank you Carol. I adore you.
[00:49:36] Speaker C: Thank you Deb. I adore you and all you do for everyone. You're amazing. It's not everybody can do what you do. You have a gift.
[00:49:46] Speaker A: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast.
[00:49:51] Speaker B: Please share and review the show so you can help other people.
[00:49:54] Speaker A: People too. I want you to know I'm always here for you. So please reach out and talk to me on Instagram @alcoholtippingpoint and check out my website, alcoholtippingpoint.com for free resources and help. No matter where you are on your drinking journey, I want to encourage you to just keep practicing. Keep going. I promise you are not alone and.
[00:50:15] Speaker B: You are worth it.
[00:50:16] Speaker A: Every day you practice not drinking is a day you can learn from. I hope you can use these tips we talked about for the rest of your week and until then, talk to you next time.
