[00:00:02] Speaker A: Welcome to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. I'm your host, Deb Maisner. I'm a registered nurse, health coach and alcohol free badass. I have found that there's more than one way to address drinking. If you've ever asked yourself if drinking is taking more than it's giving, or if you found that you're drinking more than usual, you may have reached your own alcohol tipping point. The Alcohol Tipping Point is a podcast for you to find tips, tools and thoughts to change your drinking. Whether you're ready to quit forever or a week, this is the place for you. You are not stuck and you can change. Let's get started.
[00:00:41] Speaker B: Welcome back to the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast. Today on the show I have another return guest. It's Jen Lee Hurst. I'm so excited to have her back on the podcast. Jen was last on the show in November of 2023. That was actually the second most listened to podcast out of all my podcasts. That one was about habits and I wanted to have Jen back on the podcast to talk about something kind of similar, but it's about routines and rituals.
Jen is a sobriety coach, speaker and creator of Lighthouse Sobriety. She has one of the best sober Instagram accounts out there. I think if you are looking for a sober Instagram account to follow, you can follow her at Jen Lee Hurst and she just shares lots of tips and inspiration around changing your drinking. And yeah, I wanted to have Jen come back to talk about how routines and rituals can help you when you're first giving up drinking or maybe you are, you've been done for a while, but you need a little something, a little structure in your life.
So we're going to talk about these routines. Just they're great no matter where you are on your drinking journey. So welcome back to the show, Jen.
[00:01:59] Speaker C: Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate all those kind words you said and about my Instagram. And I'm so happy to be back, especially talking about this topic, which I was, we were talking before this, how much I'm a creature of habit, but also just how much that can help you in your sobriety to have these things to help you stay grounded.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: Yeah. And I have been thinking, you know, this is coming out in January, this is, we're in it, we're in our dark winter season. And I've really been trying to be more intentional and proactive. Like what is grounding to me, what is soothing for me, what is something I can turn to to just help my day to day better. And then I think for A lot of people, you know, if you're doing dry January, it's like, what do I do now? I have all this time because I'm not drinking. And so then you're. You're looking for new ideas, routines, rituals, and whatnot. So let's get started. Are you ready to get started?
[00:03:00] Speaker C: I'm ready. I'm excited.
[00:03:02] Speaker B: Well, because you were last on, we talked about habits, and I was thinking, oh, this is interesting. So what would you say is the difference between habits and routines?
[00:03:13] Speaker C: Yeah, and that's such a great question. And that's really the basis of my programs, is implementing these six daily habits to help you to feel better in sobriety. And so what we go through is what actually consists of a habit. So habits are really behaviors and actions we do every day. They're. They're basically automatic. We don't even think about it, and we don't give it much conscious thought. And they're really triggered by a cue. So the components of a habit are a cue, a routine, and a reward or cue action, reward. So your cue could be brushing your teeth after you wake up, or say, for instance, the habit of driving a car. We don't really think about all of the things that are required before you even start the engine. Of opening the door, of putting on your seatbelt, of making sure everybody else is buckled, of turning the key, of putting the car in reverse. Like all of those things, we just do it and we don't even think about it. So what habits do, and the great thing about habits is that they save time. They save our brain time and energy, and our brain likes that. They help us to think less. And in the beginning, when you're starting new habits, especially the new habit of not drinking, it's going to require a lot of effort for your brain. You're going to have to train your brain to do them, and it's going to put up like a temper tantrum and all. It's going to require more effort in the beginning. But the more that you choose this path, the more that you constantly remind yourself of what you want to do. And we can go into how to make habits easier, of making them visual, having notifications. We're going to have those reminders until it just becomes a way of life, until it becomes automatic. And so if we can improve the habits that we do every day, we can improve our life. You can change your life. Now, routines require conscious effort to do. There are sequences of actions. They're a sequence of actions you do regularly, but they're not really automatic. So, for example, you may have a morning routine that, just like myself, that includes gratitude. Maybe you drink your water and you move your body, and that is a choice that you make every day. But over time, parts of a routine can turn into habits if they're repeated consistently. So I don't really think about my routine anymore, my morning routine. I just do it because that's what I've done since 2017, when I learned about how important it is to wake up early and to have a plan. I used to wake up being reactive to my day, and now instead, I'm being proactive. And I had no idea of all of these things that can help support my mindset. And I can do that before anybody wakes up. So again, habits are automatic, but it's really the behaviors now. Routines are the sequence of actions. A routine can be okay. When I wake up, I pour my water, I do my gratitude, and I move my body. That is my morning routine. Now for my morning routine, it's a lot more complex than that. I can go into the nitty gritty of that. But the habits make up the routine. But then the routines can become automatic.
[00:06:32] Speaker B: Oh, that's helpful. Because they're definitely tied together, right?
[00:06:36] Speaker C: They are.
[00:06:37] Speaker B: And I think it's so key to talk about habits and routines, especially with drinking, because drinking has become a habit. You know, it has become our go to default when. When we're sad, happy, celebrating, commiserating, whatnot. Like, so I think breaking those habits slash routines is so helpful when changing your drinking.
What would you say?
Like, how can a routine be helpful when quitting drinking or doing dry January, whatever that looks like for you.
[00:07:11] Speaker C: Yeah, and I would say there's so many different components or different routines you can create. I think the most important one, whether again, you're struggling with sleeping, I know especially if you drink to fall asleep. Having an evening routine can be really helpful. But really to have a morning routine, I know for me, they help to motivate me for my day. It's the most important work that I do before anybody wakes up. And like I said before, it's about being proactive with your day instead of reactive. So it's kind of like fueling your car if you want your car to run better. And I always like to think of my body as a car. I'm going to put it and fuel it with things that are going to make it function better for my day. And I always say, if you can own the morning, this is actually a quote. If you can own the Morning, you own the day. If you own the day, you own the week. If you own the week, you own the month. If you own the month, you own the year. If you own the year, you can own your freaking life. So what I love about routines is that they can fill the time now that we're not drinking. Like you said, we have so much time now that we're not drinking because we wasted so much time thinking about a drink, planning to drink, drinking, recovering from the drink, all of those things take so much time away from us. So it gives us a sense of time. It can help feel that time. It can provide stability and structure. It's one of the things that we can control. I think one thing that we love is we want to be in control. We want to control our drinking. I know we cannot control our drinking. It's just not in the cards. Moderation is not possible for me. And it also gives us a sense and can lower anxiety because we know what's going to happen. I know when we were drinking, there was no structure. And so routines can be super simple to start, but it gives us predictability, it gives us structure, it gives us control. And in that, it can reduce that anxiety and burnout. I also think routines can help boost energy and productivity. So if you're in dry January and you're experiencing the early sobriety fatigue, having some routines can help boost your energy. So routines like moving your body, getting outside, and going for a walk, that's also going to boost your energy. Drinking water boosts energy. It's also, like I said, when I can do the things, when I can do the things that bring me joy that I feel like I don't have time for, if I wake up just a little bit earlier, it can help set the tone for the entire day. I know when I don't get in my routine, my day is thrown off if I sleep in and no, no consequence if you sleep. And I think sleep is so important in early sobriety. But when I. If I don't get at least some of that routine in some of that structure, it throws off my day. It helps to just keep me grounded. And I also think it helps you sleep and it helps improve your mood. Having those consistent routines, especially the morning and nighttime ones, can help regulate your circadian rhythm. And also having especially a bedtime routine can help you sleep, which also helps you stay sober, can help wind your body down. Instead of looking into that with wine, which we feel like it helps us to relax, helps us to shut our mind off, helps to Just turn our brain off. It really wreaks havoc on our sleep. But if we can find these little routines to do at night to help prepare our body for rest, that's going to help so much in you getting a quality night's sleep, which in turn helps you to stay sober. I know when I don't sleep well my whole day, it can throw off my whole day from irritability to headaches to anxiety, all of those things. So having that wind down routine and having that way to wake up to kind of start your day can help you to have a better day and also to help wind yourself down to prepare for really good night's rest. And I always say a good night's rest starts or a good day or a good night's rest starts the morning, in the morning with getting morning sunlight getting moving your body and that really helps you get a good night's rest.
[00:11:35] Speaker B: Yeah, so many benefits. And I keep like thinking of different things. One is, you know, that whole finding a way to reduce our anxiety and stress. And so when you were saying like it's something you have control over predictability, structure, like how self soothing that is. And, and it also makes me think of back when I had little babies and it was like get them on a routine. Right.
[00:12:06] Speaker C: That's so Grace, you brought that up. I was just thinking about my daughter when you were talking.
[00:12:12] Speaker B: Yeah, like they, we, we all need it, Humans need it. And we had it from when we were babies to kids. Starts to go away when they're teens. Now I have teens, like good luck.
But it's so important. So it's kind of like going back to your roots and going back to that self soothing, that kind of parenting yourself. What does that routine look like now that you're an adult?
[00:12:37] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. And I really noticed this especially with my daughter. She thrives on structure when it's a summer, when it's kind of like, oh, go do this, go do that. She, it creates anxiety for her. She likes to have a plan. She likes, she likes to know what to expect. And I think we're the same things when kids know what to expect. So even in the summer I started creating like a weekly schedule just so they can see what's on tap for that hour or that day. Okay, now we're gonna go outside if once we can create that stability with them. And I don't know even for my son, he's had a hard time sleeping. He has to read before bed. He needs 20, at least 20 minutes to wind himself down to Read a book to calm down his brain to get a good night's rest. So keeping that structure, and that's what keeps us safe, is when we know kind of what to expect. That's what keeps our children safe. But also that can make us feel so much better and so much more at ease and at peace in our sobriety when we can have just that predictability and that consistency so we know what to expect. That's why I watch the same TV shows over and over again. I don't have to really pay attention like Friends. I love it because I already know what's going to happen. It like reduces that spontaneity of it. But it's that predictability that helps me. I don't know, it helps me enjoy it better because I know it's going to happen. And I think that's the same we can do for us.
[00:14:12] Speaker B: Yeah, that's so. It's funny you bring up friends because that is my daughter's go to show.
[00:14:17] Speaker C: It's like her soothing.
[00:14:19] Speaker B: She watches it over and over. I'm like, you already know.
[00:14:21] Speaker C: She's like, yeah, I do. I do.
[00:14:23] Speaker B: There's something comforting about it.
[00:14:26] Speaker C: Exactly. And it's in my sober toolkit. So when I'm alone or I'm at a hotel, I didn't realize this until a few days a few years ago is that I put on Friends in the background because it helps calm me down of when I'm by myself. I love just having it on. I. I know what's gonna happen. I don't need to pay attention, but it just makes me feel good. And it's. Except for the breakup episodes, I don't like those ones. It's like three episodes. I don't watch those. But all of the rest, it's fun. It's like hardened and I just, again, it makes me feel at peace and comforted when I'm by myself.
[00:15:06] Speaker B: And that's a good example. I think it would be helpful to hear examples of a morning routine and an evening routine just so people have ideas like, oh, I could incorporate that. Or that sounds like that would be something helpful for me. So should we start with the morning ritual routine?
[00:15:25] Speaker C: Yeah. And that's the one I love is because that's where I feel like has the most impact of my mindset for the day. And so a great resource that you can check out is Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod. And that's really got me on the notion of waking up early. So I think he wakes up at 4am but he has this acronym called Savers of some ways that you can start your day and some ideas. So I highly recommend you can check that out. But one way that I start my day, number one is hydration. So many of us wake up dehydrated. And so starting your day with water, not coffee, at drinking at least 8 to 16 ounces of water to refill ourselves, to hydrate ourselves, and then to spend. I spend at least two to five minutes in silence. Whether that's doing like a meditation to just quiet the mind. And then I also, when I'm meditating or I'm just honestly just taking some deep breaths is I visualize the day I want to have.
How do I want the day to go? What do I have coming up? How does my best sober self show up? So you can do a guided meditation or just honestly taking a few deep breaths just to get grounded is really key. Another really good one would be and again, it's one of my habits. But gratitude. So writing three to five things that you're grateful for from the past 24 hours and I really feel like if you're an early sobriety, what in three to five things that you're grateful for about waking up sober or about sobriety? And I really found the difference in this is when I got specific because you can be like, my health, I'm grateful for, you know, this and my family and get really specific. My gosh, I was. I'm really grateful that I was able to put my daughter to bed last night. And I remember it. I'm really grateful that when she woke up because her tummy hurt, I was able to respond to her and take care of her. Even though I'm low on sleep, I'm just so grateful that I'm present for that. So what is it specifically that you're really, really thankful for about waking up sober or you can go into the past 24 hours? I really think starting your day with gratitude or else ending your day. I find that some of my clients like to end their day with gratitude or do it both. Find whatever works for you, but make that a daily practice. Make that a daily routine is adding in that gratitude. It's going to help so much of finding the good in this choice because so often we can have this, oh, my gosh, I have to do this. And this happened to me and this happened to me, and she's drinking and I can. It's like, what's going well?
Like, find the things, notice the things that are going well and how you're feeling And I think that can really help with our mindset. And when I can do that to start my day and know that I'm going to do that tomorrow, I can be on the lookout for those things that are going well, for those moments that did make me smile that I probably would have passed up if I were still drinking, that I don't even notice. I don't notice the signs and the good that's happening when I'm constantly reminding of what I can't do and what's going wrong. And this was really hard for me in the beginning. I was very negative. I still kind of am. And so I really seek this out and it's helped tremendously. So when things come up like a curveball or this happens or this happens, like, oh my gosh, I'm so thankful that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it really shifts into this. I get to mindset instead of I have to, and this is happening to me instead of this is happening. Bore me. So start your day with gratitude. I also really think you can journal. I know many of my clients do morning pages. I really feel like an early sobriety. One thing that I regret is not writing everything down. I wish I had documentation of this. And I think all of the answers that you want are already inside of you. You just have to give yourself the time to figure that out. So whether it's, you know, one page, set a timer for two minutes and just do a stream of consciousness of what is going on in your brain. Write out everything, just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You can start with, how are you feeling this morning? And feeling kind of tired and feeling kind of anxious. Why? And then just see what comes out. And I think the other thing I really advise is to move your body.
Why I say do this in the morning because when you can own your morning and have that routine, when you can wake up a little bit earlier and do those things that fuel your tank, that fuel your engine, I can benefit from a workout the rest of the day. If I can get in a workout and drink some water, I'm better able to make better decisions throughout the day. If I got in a hard workout, what else can I do? Today I'm doing the most important work first thing before the rest of the world comes at me. I have emails, I have kids, I have all of this going on. If I put it off until 4pm or 5pm, who knows what's going to happen. I have control over my morning. Unless a kid gets sick 95% of the time, I'm not interrupted. And I love that. And so often we wait until 8pm, say for instance, if you have kids or you have a job. And you wait, wait for 8pm to give that time for ourselves. All we got to do is just switch it. Instead of going to bed later for that me time, wake up earlier and switch the me time to the morning. And then you get to reap the benefits all day. And when you can show up again, do those things that fuel you up. You're going to be better able to make better decisions throughout the day, which has this great ripple effect into building these strict. And it's one good decision stacked on top of the other. So you don't wait till you're last on the list at 8pm to do those things. You work on yourself first thing. Because you are the most important thing. You're the work that you do on yourself is the most important work. Because when you fill up, when you commit and you do those things for yourself, you're better able to show up for those that you love. I'm better able to show up for the work that I do. And I do that to give me the energy that I need to do all of the things that I want to do. And so I think again, the silence you can do even affirmations, one that if you're like, I don't know what I could say to myself. So affirmations are basically thoughts that you want to think. And so I always tell myself, today's going to be a great day. And I, I try to smile when I say it. And then I look for all of the ways that I'm going to make it a great day. And then again, you can visualize how do you want your day to go. You exercise, you write your gratitude. And I think when you do those things and there's so many other things that we can do in your morning routine, if you're just getting started, I say take one or two of those things, see how you feel. Start with five or 10 minutes and then stack those, stack another one on top of the other. When you can show up for that consistently, then see if there's anything else that you would like to add.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: So helpful and so like just motivating just to hear you talk and share that. I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna do that.
[00:22:58] Speaker C: Yeah. And when I don't get those things in, it throws off my day. Cause I'm like, ah, I didn't do those things that give me the energy. And because so often I Found that I never had time with two kids. I never had time to do this. I don't have time to do this. I don't have time. I do have time. I just got to wake up a little bit earlier. And so I started waking up at like 5:30. I'm like, okay, I like this. And I'm like, okay, I wonder if I could do five. I could get 30 more minutes. Oh my God. Now I get a full hour. This is when my kids were young. Then it's like, okay, maybe I could do like 4:45. Because I really, I get almost two hours to myself. And then once I can do all of those things, I get myself ready. I do do my gratitude, do my workout, do all of those things that fill me up. Then my daughter wakes up, I'm better able to show up for her instead of being like, oh, I didn't get that in and now you want me and blah, blah, blah, blah. That can just throw off your whole day. So no checking your phone. I think that's what a big thing. Keep. Try to keep that phone away from you for at least 30 minutes until you get your morning routine done. But it again, it can just give you the confidence and the motivation that you need to remember why you're doing this and, and just how important it is to you. And again, to boost those endorphins and that dopamine first thing in the morning is huge.
[00:24:27] Speaker B: Yeah, thank you. Thank you for all those examples too. And I have a very small morning routine right now, so I appreciate you saying like just even five to ten minutes or half an hour. But like, I'll get up and I'll fill my coffee cup with water first. Like, okay, I'm going to drink water first and then I'll do like a light, you know, just deep breaths, move my body. Very minimal, yoga type stuff. Very minimal. And then another thing I've been incorporating. I love how you talked about gratitude and finding more gratitude. And it's something I'm like, oh, I know I should be doing that. Right? And so I always have like a checkoff list of things to do. Always. Right. And I live by it. But I'm like, you know what? On the back of that list, I'm going to keep jotting down things I am grateful for. Like I'm. Or things that bring me delight, looking for the little glimmers, the delightful things that happen. You know, yesterday it was just like a mama, mama squirrel and her two babies, they were frolicking under our bird feeder. Like, and they were just so funny and chasing each other and jumping and like, that brought me delight, you know. And I'm like, I'm going to write that down. But on this list that I always have with me, I'm like, why don't you incorporate the other side of things too? Not just what to do, but like what you're experiencing.
[00:25:57] Speaker C: I love that. And it's really in those little things like the squirrels. Right. Or my chickens or the cats, you know, my daughter's joy. Or like it's. It's the little things that we kind of gloss over that it's like, oh man, it's those small moments. And I love that you can just keep a tracking list of it just on the other side. Just notice. I think being aware is first, like aware to notice it and then to actually write it down. Whether it's throughout the day, whether it's like, you know, what, three things in the morning or three things at night and I'm going to have my journal and whether you want to do like a habit tracker, like, and those are huge. And we could talk about that in a sec. But just to remind you to do it, I think having notifications on your phone, especially in the beginning, like I said in the beginning, your brain is going to put up resistance or you're going to. It's going to require effort to remember it. So using the tools to help you remember to do it until it becomes automatic. I don't think about doing my grad. I even do it on vacation. Now, it might not be at the same time, but I always do it because I always want that mindset. But the note of phone notifications, the track habit trackers, whether it's on your phone or I really believe in physical trackers like you have, just writing it down in your notebook is going to be really huge to help you remember to do that. But it is, it's. It's just those little things that you might not think it's going to make a difference, but over time it really helps to shift your mindset.
[00:27:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's get into then. So it sounds like if you were gonna focus on morning or evening, you feel like morning, you get more bang for your buck. I love that quote that you shared about owning the morning. Owning your day. Like that was so good.
[00:27:52] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. And I think morning is great for energy. Right. And. And telling yourself what day you're gonna have. I. Today's gonna be a great day. Here's my intentions and here's what I'm doing for myself. But I also think evening routines, I mean all of them are so important. I think you could have three routines. I mean, perfect world. You have a morning routine, you have a trigger hour routine, you have the evening routine. And I think if you're struggling with sleep, that could even go into your morning routine with getting 10 minutes of morning sunlight that's gonna help you sleep, working out's gonna help you sleep. But having just a wind down routine can be really helpful but also really simple. I know for me, I used to drink to fall asleep, so not having alcohol was really hard for me to. I hear from women all the time, it's hard to shut my brain off. So some of my evening routines are, you know, maybe it's a calming tea that you wanna drink. Taking a hot bath to cool down your body temperature, that's really important to help drift off to sleep. One thing when I get in bed is, I mean the last few days I've been putting my phone outside of my bedroom. Huge step for me. I know that's really helpful. But planning out my day for tomorrow, getting all of the things that I want to do tomorrow out of my brain and onto my paper, I, that's one thing I do is I schedule my day. I take magnesium, that's my magnesium glycinate. I love it. I think it's so helpful for sleep. I read for about 10 to 15 minutes. I read like a light novel. Nothing like personal growth or quitlet, something that's fun and I don't, doesn't require a lot of thought.
And then I always, you know, even like I always go to the bathroom one more time. Ever since I was pregnant, I always just want to empty the tank before I get into bed. I turn off my phone's light and then I get into bed. I always rub essential oils on my wrist because it helps calm me down.
And then I drift off to sleep. So again, there can be many things that you can, it can be one or two things. Maybe every time before bed I'm going to make myself some tea or I'm going to take a bath or I'm going to read before I go to sleep instead of scrolling my phone. So is there just one thing that can help you to drift off to sleep? Maybe it's I'm going to turn my sound machine off, I'm going to wash my face, I'm going to brush my teeth. Simple things. But having that and doing that on a consistent basis and just trying it on and seeing how it feels now Maybe it's like that doesn't really help me sleep. Or maybe I could. Let's try this. Maybe that can help me sleep and seeing what works. Seeing what works for you. Adding or subtracting and being consistent with it. But I think again the morning routines to give you energy, but also to help you sleep, but also the evening routine to just help wind yourself down a little bit for a good night's sleep is really important.
[00:30:57] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And I sure love my sleep.
Now you mentioned ideally you would have like a trigger hour routine. So let's talk about that because that could be really helpful for people.
[00:31:10] Speaker C: Yes. And in my programs we go through it to create a plan. It's really. I call it a plan, but it can be your afternoon routine. So for many of us it's this transition hour from work to home life or shutting off one thing and doing something else. Like I'm shutting off my work brain and now I'm bomb mode. And for many of us we would. That's when we pour a glass of wine, that happy hour. And uh, so creating this transition of shutting one thing off, starting something else is really helpful in the beginning. And thinking of when was my trigger hour? Was that at 8pm? Was it at 4pm? I think for many people it's at 5pm it's this, you know, family's coming home and I'm done working and now I have to start cooking and the kids are needing this and this is this. So what could be something that you could do to help switch off and to transition into this new mom mode or shutting off this thing and turning this on. So for instance, some of these is maybe that's my time to get out for a walk.
[00:32:22] Speaker B: I just.
[00:32:22] Speaker C: Especially with the less sunlight, any amount of daylight that you can get in is going to help you adjust to this process and help you sleep at night. For some of us it's pouring an NA beverage you can still drink. You could don't change your habit, just change what's in your glass. Have NA beverage. Or maybe that's the time where you have a calming tea. I really Recommend around the 3 to 4pm hour to have a protein rich snack. So anything higher than 10 to 15 grams of protein because when our blood sugar is low, that's going to spike our cravings. So you never want to go into your trigger hour, your afternoon transition hour hungry. You need to maintain that blood sugar and protein helps us do that. So often we reach for a glass of wine because we're hungry and that can Trigger cravings. So getting ahead of it at that 3 to 4pm hour, having some protein can help you get through that trigger hour or that happy hour or that transition hour. You can drink 8 ounces of water, right? You can make that your working out time. You can go to tar, I don't know, like anything that's going to help you to stay sober and make it special, make it fun, make this your happy hour. Who says happy hour has to involve alcohol? It can be. Maybe you pour your na wine or sparkling water in a wine glass or just in a fancy glass. You cut up some limes, you put it in there. And then you have some chicken, apple sausage, which is my favorite. You have some strawberries, maybe you add in some cheese. Anything that makes it a little bit more of like a ritual of this is my time. Maybe that's the time that you take a calming bath or you take a shower. It's really again trying new things, seeing what makes you feel good. One thing that I do when my kids get home, actually before they get home, I always have my protein snacks. But I used to crack open a sparkling water when they walked in the door. That's when I would crack open a sparkling water and I listened to their day, we talk about their day and go get into their homework. And that was kind of my cue to turn work life off. And now I'm into mom mode. So it can be as simple as one thing to help you transition and just switching out that beverage for something else. So a wok, a bath, that protein snack and a beverage.
Keep it simple, but stick to that routine. And it doesn't have to be an hour long. It's just something that helps you transition into the evening in a better way without drinking.
[00:35:06] Speaker B: I love that. I love focusing on the transition. I kind of think of that as Mr. Rogers time.
Remember, Mr. Rogers would come home from work and he would take off his suit jacket, he put on his cardigan, he'd change his shoes. But he was like really transitioning from his day job, whatever that was.
[00:35:28] Speaker C: No idea.
[00:35:30] Speaker B: But he would come home and he would transition. And that was like changing clothes. You know, maybe if you're a woman, like it's taking off your bra, right? How like we're done, right? I think, I think I love, you know, just focusing on that time and recognizing like, okay, here's some things we can do. Recognize this is a difficult transition time. This is an hour to just hone in on. I love the, you know, eat. That's like my number one Tip for people like eat and drink. Address your biology first. Right? Because a lot of times it's just low blood sugar at that time. I also love apple chicken sausage. I just got some.
[00:36:15] Speaker C: I love it.
[00:36:17] Speaker B: It's so good.
[00:36:18] Speaker C: And I get mine at Walmart. It's so delicious. And just thinking of, like checking the label, seeing how much protein is in one link or whatever you're consuming.
So again, just making sure you're having 10, at least. You know, 10 to 15 grams of protein is going to help tremendously so. And even when you're saying Mr. Rogers. So I grew up on Mr. Rogers and Sesame street, and I didn't even realize that he would come home, take off his suit coat, put on his sweater, his cardigan, his shoes, and that good day in the neighborhood. But then I think for me too is I pour, I used to pour sparkling water. Now I just chug water. But then I, I put on my pajamas.
[00:37:00] Speaker B: Like, if we don't have anything else.
[00:37:01] Speaker C: Plan, I put on my pajamas. I want to be comfort. I'm like, take off the jeans, take off my sweater. I'm putting on my pajamas. I want to be warm and cozy, especially in these winter months. And, you know, it's never too early to just put on pajamas.
[00:37:16] Speaker B: No, never. Love it. Love that.
Okay, well, let's talk about rituals then, which are a little different than routines.
[00:37:27] Speaker C: Yeah. And really the difference between a ritual and a routine really lies in the intention. So the definition of a routine is really, again, this set of actions that we do regularly and they can become automatic. So say, for instance, brushing your teeth every morning or following a workout schedule can be your routine. So it's really task oriented. Now, the rituals are a series of actions with a kind of a purpose or a symbolism or a meaning behind it. There's a lot of intention behind it. It really focuses on your why it's more mindful. So this adds, you know, it's kind of like a more emotional depth to the activity, creating a sense of connection and or reflection. So say for instance, lighting a candle when you're journaling in the evening or in the morning to process emotions. I know certain rituals I have that I just started that helped me again to do podcasts. As an introvert who struggles with social anxiety, I used to do podcasts on the floor because I felt just sitting on the floor was very comforting to me. I'd have a blanket over me and I always light a candle. Now I'm more comfortable to do seated up like I'm doing with you. Now, because I've been practicing, but I always light a candle when I coach or when I do a podcast to kind of signify. Now I'm focused. Now I'm being intentional with this. And this is our time now. When this podcast is over, I'll blow the candle out. And I know it may sound woo woo, but it just helps me get into the practice of being this coach and having the confidence to do that. Now, rituals really provide a sense of, like, transformation. And routines are about maintaining order. So, for example, when quitting drinking, a routine might be to take a nightly walk for a place. The time spent drinking or during that transition hour is when you go on a. Go on a walk. Now, a ritual might involve creating a space for your meditation or where you light a candle, you sit tea, and journal about your progress. Or the nature walk could be a ritual if you do it in silence and really start to notice the sounds and what's coming up for you and things like that. So I say rituals again, really about your why and about the meaning and significance of. And routines kind of is more about the structure and the action. It's kind of, okay, I did this. Let's cross that off. It's about maintaining that order.
[00:40:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you for that. And I think I also think of rituals as marking an occasion or like something every 30 days. You get. Maybe you have a ritual you do that is special or maybe at the beginning of every month or I know a lot of people do rituals around full moons. Yeah, right. So they're kind of marking something and bringing that meaning and that why into it.
[00:40:37] Speaker C: Yeah, absolutely. Or like how you. Again, how you celebrate a sober bursary. My ritual is always, I get a massage, I take my family out for dinner. I've been doing that every single year. I've taken my husband out to a really nice restaurant to say thank you for sticking by me. And now I get to take my kids to a fancy restaurant. I always buy myself a red velvet cupcake because those are my favorite. And it's just. And I always buy myself a medallion.
It signifies the best present I own. And I love to see them stack up and they mean so much to me. But again, yeah, those just those rituals of how you celebrate another 30 days or a month sober or a year sober, I think are really, really huge.
[00:41:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I. I do too. Okay, before we wrap up, how. What is your advice for staying motivated, for being consistent?
[00:41:30] Speaker C: Cause it's.
[00:41:31] Speaker B: I'm sure if people are listening, they're like, this sounds great.
And then you know, something happens and then you don't follow through, and then you kind of fall off track. So what are your tips there?
[00:41:43] Speaker C: Yeah, well, first off, connect to why you're doing it. Why do you want to start this routine, this habit, this ritual? What does it mean to you? And the best way to start anything is to start small. So make it as easy as possible to start. Maybe start with two of the routines or two habits that you would like to start to avoid getting overwhelmed. Like, be realistic with what you can do. And the only way to improve a habit is to establish that you can do it, is to prove to yourself that you can do it. So start small, start with two minutes and see how it goes. I think tracking your progress, just like we talked about with trackers, making it visual is really, really important. So whether it's physical or virtual, make sure you have reminders on your phone tracking that progress as a reminder of what your habit is.
Having a group that you can check into, maybe you have again, joining a dry, dry January group, joining another group who can help you stay motivated and stay accountable is going to be huge. So maybe it's. It is sit, stop drinking, right? Or if it's something else, could you invite a friend who also wants to do it to help you guys support each other, but also help each other stay sober or stay accountable and see about making it enjoyable. So if it's gratitude, maybe you want to get a fun gratitude journal. Maybe go to Target and there's so many pretty ones. Or when you work out, that's when you watch your favorite show, that's when you watch Friends is when you work out or when you're on the treadmill, when you go on a walk, that's when you listen to a podcast or that you're. You're going to pour in any beverage and go on a walk. How freaking cool fun is that? I think that's, that's super fun. And that's a great thing about NA beverages is you don't have to wait till 5. You can drink an n a beverage in the morning. Do what? I like that. No, but you can, you know, make it fun, make it exciting, but also find some compassion for yourself. If you miss a day or two days, you know, don't dwell on it. Just get back up and keep going. Refocus and start again and keep going. Because the moment I really feel like when you fall and pick yourself back up, that is so important for change. You know, even in our drinking career, when we would have a slip, pick Ourselves. Back up. Learn from it, examine it. Okay, what was going on here? What could I change for next time that it has so much impact in your learning process? And so when we can, if we miss a day or two, find compassion, pick yourself up and redirect and keep going. That's the most important part. So yeah, start small, understand why you're doing it, get a habit tracker, seek out support, make it fun and be careful. Be gentle with yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself if you're not perfect, because perfect doesn't exist.
[00:44:41] Speaker B: Love it. Love it. So helpful. Well, I just want to thank you again for coming back on the show and talking about routines and rituals and just remind people, do check out the last episode Jen was on. She talks about the top six daily habits to focus on and I'll put the link in the show notes, but tell us, tell everybody how they can find you.
[00:45:04] Speaker C: Yes. So I love to hang out on Instagram @jenleehurst and you could also check me out on my
[email protected] and I have a journal that's coming out if you would like to again, have some morning pages and also have a spot to write your gratitude in and plan out your day. It has the affirmation in there. Today is going to be a great day, every single day. So if you want to check out the journal, it's for 100 days to help you on your server journey and that is available on my website as well.
[00:45:38] Speaker B: Oh, love that. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. This was so helpful and it has me energized and motivated. So I'm sure it will help a lot of people too.
[00:45:48] Speaker C: Awesome. I'm going to go out for a walk right after this because that's my ritual. After I do a podcast, I go insert and I go get some fresh air. And so that's what I'm going to do. So thank you so much for having me on.
[00:46:00] Speaker A: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the Alcohol Tipping Point podcast.
[00:46:05] Speaker B: Please share and review the show so.
[00:46:07] Speaker A: You can help other people too. I want you to know I'm always here for you. So please reach out and talk to me on Instagram at Alcohol Tipping Point and check out my website, alcoholtippingpoint.com for free resources and help. No matter where you are on your drinking journey, I want to encourage you to just keep practicing. Keep going. I promise you are not alone and.
[00:46:29] Speaker B: You are worth it.
[00:46:30] Speaker A: Every day you practice not drinking is a day you can learn from. I hope you can use these tips we talked about for the rest of your week and until then, talk to you next time.
